


Sound

by BeeAnka



Series: Sing Me A Song Of Despair [21]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Blood and Violence, Gen, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Misogyny, Racism, Sexual Harassment, Slurs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-05-27 22:56:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 59,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15035156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeeAnka/pseuds/BeeAnka
Summary: While Mukuro tells Sayaka about her time in Fenrir, she can't help but relive her memories at the same time.





	1. Laughter

**Author's Note:**

> Note: This can technically be read as a standalone piece too, if one isn't familiar with the entire series.
> 
> I meant to post this yesterday, but Archive Of Our Own wouldn't load for me for some reason.
> 
> Last chapter's art is horrible! Don't look at it! Here: https://inacron.tumblr.com/post/175210296406 (it's horrible, but good. definitely look at it)
> 
> So, here we are. Mukuro's backstory. I was thinking I should write this as a prequel someday, but I soon realized that this has to be a part of the main series. It's integral to Mukuro's character.
> 
> This has a lot of nasty stuff, as you can see from the tags. Writing it was unpleasant, to say the least, but being less upfront about how horrible the setting is would be counterproductive to what I'm trying to do here. The one thing (I can think of right now) that I'm unwilling to write is graphic sexual assault and I'm trying to keep the topic as vague as I can, but it has to have a presence in this kind of setting as much as I wish it wasn't the case.
> 
> It's not ALL super edgy grimdark though, don't worry.
> 
> Also, in case anyone gets confused: Mukuro tells Sayaka about everything you read here, except anything that's related to Junko's true nature, Ultimate Despair, and despair in general. You'll find out how Mukuro changed that after the backstory is over. (which will hopefully be before September at the very least, but you never know)

* * *

 

Mukuro shoves her last and most important item inside the duffel bag on her bed and zips it shut.

She looks at the clock. 6pm, meaning the plane leaves in four hours.

Sighing, she sits down next to her bag. She's ready to leave. Everything is packed and the plane ticket is inside her pocket, but it feels as though she could still change her mind any second.

It all depends on Junko. Her sister already knows she's leaving of course, yet there hasn't been a big reaction so far. Ususally she would find that to be strange -- one's older sister abruptly leaving to join some shady military organization in the middle of a vacation is certainly not normal -- but it _is_ Junko.

"So." The voice causes her to stop thinking immediately. She looks up and sees Junko leaning at the doorframe. "You're really going." She says the words like Mukuro is just about to leave to go grocery shopping.

"Yes."

"Couldn't even wait until we're done here, could you?" Junko asks, smiling thinly. "You're gonna miss my fashion show, sis. Not to mention, leaving me to take care of mom alone."

"It's a limited time offer, Junko-chan," Mukuro explains for what feels like the tenth time, even though she's only done so once. Possibly because she has been rationalizing it in her mind like this a lot. "I would stay and watch it if I could. You know I would."

"No one's forcing you to leave at all." Junko says, the smile still sticking to her face like glue.

It's an accusation Mukuro has been expecting, of course. "You're right," she concedes. "But the way I am now, the chances of your plans succeeding are too low. I need to get more skilled. I will be so much more useful to you after I'm done there, Junko-chan."

Junko's false smile is gone, a frown replacing it. "Don't go acting like my plans are important to you, sis. I know why you're really doing this."

"I'm not lying to you. They're important to you. That's why they're important to me as well."

"But that's not the only reason."

Mukuro averts her eyes. They both know it isn't. "You're right. It's not."

"If you want to leave," Junko murmurs. "You're going to say it. Or I'm going to make you stay."

There is a long silence.

Mukuro swallows, and looks into her sister's eyes. She owes her that much, at least. "I'm scared of you." The words are so quiet they should be impossible to hear, but Junko hears them, judging from the way her apathetic expression morphes into one of glee.

"And?" The answer to that question is more complicated than Junko might think, so Mukuro tries to keep it simple, mostly because she isn't sure how to express herself.

"After I'm done perfecting my abilities, I won't be anymore. Not scared enough to leave ever again." Junko glares at her. Mukuro reluctantly adds something. "And I need some time away from here, from everything. From..." She can't look her sister in the eyes anymore. "From you."

Junko snickers. "That's so pathetic," she jeers. "You could snap my neck in a second, but you're still scared of your cute little sister."

"I'm sorry."

"You think I care about your stupid apologies?" Junko scoffs. "Are you gonna leave or what?"

Mukuro shifts uncomfortably. "Can we watch the sunset together before I leave?" She asks timidly.

"I'm gonna watch it. Guess I can't stop you from tagging along."

Interpreting the answer as positive, Mukuro follows her sister to the balcony.

On the way there though, their adoptive mother sticks her head out of her temporary bedroom's door. "Mitsuko?" She asks in a voice that sounds like she's half asleep. Her eyes spot the duffel bag Mukuro is carrying. "Are you leaving?"

It's pointless to correct her on the name -- the woman is always using the wrong ones when on her medication -- so she only adresses the question. "Yes," she says, putting the bag down on the floor. She isn't even sure why she's carried it with her to begin with. "I've told you already. I'm leaving for that special military academy."

"You have...?" Their mother tilts her head and smiles droopily. "Oh, that's right... I'll miss you, Mitsuko. Write to Ryouko and me, will you?"

"Those aren't our names, mom." Junko says, annoyed. She never stops correcting the woman. "You should be in bed. Did you take your medication?" The question is unnecessary, judging from the state their mother is in, yet Junko asks it every time nonetheless.

"My medication...?" Their mother's face looks puzzled for a moment, before it lights up. "Oh, yes. I have. You're such a good daughter, Junko. I'm sorry about the names."

"Don't worry about it." Junko takes their mother by her arm and tucks her into bed again. "Make sure you get your rest, alright?"

"I will..." Their mother giggles. "It's like you're the mother and I'm the child. It's funny..." She trails off, closing her eyes. When Mukuro and Junko turn to leave though, she speaks up again. "Mitsu- no... Mukuro... come tell your mother goodbye, won't you?"

Mukuro sits down on the edge of the bed next to the woman. She was hoping she could avoid this.

"You're a good girl, Mukuro..." Their mother murmurs, raising her hand to cup Mukuro's cheek, though she can't quite manage and it falls back down on the bed. "I don't have to tell you... to behave yourself... you're... you're..." She closes her eyes.

Mukuro waits a minute or two. After it becomes obvious the woman is asleep, she gets up from the bed. Junko and her leave the room, closing the door quietly behind them.

"She's gonna miss you." Junko says, smiling sardonically.

"I don't know why she would." Mukuro replies, knowing the woman will. Junko has always been closer with their adoptive mother. Or feigned it -- it's difficult to tell at times. Mukuro hasn't been. And she never will be. It hasn't stopped their mother from unsuccessfully trying to get closer to her.

"She's probably gonna die soon." Junko mentions conversationally.

"Probably." Mukuro agrees.

Junko snickers. "You're so cold, sis. I bet she's gonna die in despair, knowing you never loved her for a second."

Mukuro looks at Junko out of the corner of her eye. "Will you tell her before she does?" She asks. It's true she has never loved that woman, but that doesn't mean she feels any malice towards her either. She feels nothing at all.

"I might." Junko says. "It sucks you won't be there for it to share the moment, but who needs you anyway?"

Mukuro doesn't answer that.

The sky already has an orange tint when they step out on the balcony. "I'm so fucking sick of the Big Ben." Junko mutters, glancing at the structure with disdain. "Ruins the nice view."

"Some British people probably agree with you," Mukuro says. She doesn't care about the thing herself, nor does she care about the sunset. She just wants to experience something with her sister before she has to leave. Who knows how long they'll be apart. The Fenrir member couldn't say.

"Once you're back..." Junko's lips curl up and she smiles brightly. "I'm gonna be one of the most famous models in the world. The fashion show tomorrow is just the start." She says it like it's a fact, which it most likely is. If Junko makes a prediction like this, it will always come true.

"I will try to watch it if I can." Mukuro tries her best to sound assuring.

Junko snorts. "You think I care whether you're gonna watch it or not? I hope your fucking plane crashes."

"Plane crashes happen rarely." Mukuro mumbles. "It's more likely I will get into an accident on the way to the airport."

Junko snorts again, but this time she almost sounds amused. "I'd push you off this balcony if I wasn't too lazy."

Mukuro knows she wouldn't be able to do that, but doesn't bother pointing it out. They both know. "I'm going to miss you, Junko-chan." She tells her sister.

Junko doesn't comment on that, giggling instead. "You're making me feel so much despair, sis. I should thank you, really."

"I wasn't trying to..." Mukuro says, even though it's supposedly a positive thing for Junko. She still has a hard time wrapping her head around this entire despair thing, even though it's been part of their lives for as long as she can think.

"That's why you're such a disappointment." Junko sounds cheerful, but there is another emotion on her face. Mukuro doesn't know whether it's anger or sadness. It might be both, or neither.

The orange glint in the sky slowly disappears, and it gets dark before Mukuro can really comprehend it.

"Well," Mukuro says uneasily after a few minutes pass. "I should leave."

"Bye." Junko says without looking at her.

Mukuro feels a flash of guilt, one that she feels deeper than the ones before. She can feel herself starting to crack. "Junko-chan," she begins. "If you really don't want me to leave, I will stay. Just say it." She almost pleads.

"Bye." Junko repeats tonelessly.

With a painful feeling in her chest, Mukuro leaves her sister on the balcony, picking up her duffel bag on the way to her room. She looks inside, just to make sure the picture on the top of her things hasn't disappeared for some reason. Seeing that it hasn't, she zips it shut again.

She looks at the clock. It's time to go.

She puts on her jacket, picks up her duffel bag, and leaves the room. Forcing herself not to walk back to Junko, she opens the door to their hotel suite and closes it behind her.

She stands in front of it for a while, full of conflict. She knows it's better for her to leave. She knows she should. She knows she isn't safe around Junko. She knows all of that. But...

What about Junko? She doesn't want to leave her sister alone. Not just because Junko will have to take care of their adoptive mother on her own, since that woman doesn't need looking after _all_ of the time, but...

No one but Mukuro understands Junko even slightly. So if she leaves... it truly means her sister is all alone. It's not like she thinks she's that important, but she's better than nothing. And...

Mukuro's thoughts disappear abruptly when she hears the door open behind her. As soon as she turns around, Junko is hugging her. She desperately hugs her sister back, patting her back as gently as she is capable of.

"Three years," Junko hisses into her ear. "At most. One second longer, and don't bother coming back."

"Alright," Mukuro murmurs, her vision blurring with tears. "Three years. Not a second longer." She'll make that happen, whatever it takes. "I love you, Junko-chan."

Junko pulls back, her face expressionless like before. "Stupid, useless Mukuro," she mutters. "Don't get yourself killed after all your talk of being more useful to me. I want to see results."

"You will." Mukuro promises.

Junko gives her an annoyed look. "Then go already. Geez, what the hell's your problem?" Rolling her eyes, Junko slams the hotel suite's door shut.

Mukuro forces herself to leave before she isn't able to do so anymore.

Whe she leaves the hotel, it's started snowing. She smiles. Junko is fond of snow.

Once she is away far enough, she tentatively looks up to where their hotel suite's balcony is. No one is there.

Sighing, Mukuro turns and walks into the airport's direction.

She's afraid, now that she has left. There is regret, too. What is she thinking? Not being able to see Junko for three years...

She'd rather die, a part of her thinks, with her sister's hands around her neck. At least that would make Junko happy. Or... in despair. Whatever it is that she feels.

Despite her thoughts, Mukuro keeps walking.

It's too late to turn back.

 

-

 

A little more than half a day after leaving the hotel in London, Mukuro is sitting in the back of a truck, having traded a cold evening in England in favor of a, by comparison, warm morning in Turkey.

The drive is long. Also dark, considering the back of the truck doesn't have any lighting at all. She supposes she could try to get some sleep -- it's surprisingly quiet -- but the people she's with are dangerous and she doesn't trust any of them in the slightest.

When the truck finally stops. Mukuro figures it's been about five hours of driving, but she can't be sure exactly.

"Fucking finally." She can hear one of the recruits -- there are three excluding herself, all of them obviously older than her, probably in their late twenties or early thirties -- mutter in English. Unsurprisingly, this will be her primary language from now on. She doesn't mind. Junko and her have become fluent in English by necessity, for the former's budding career as a model.

Even though it's been presumably five hours, no one has been trying to make any conversation at all. She wouldn't have spoken to anyone if they had tried talking to her anyway.

The truck's back door opens, and the obnoxious glow of the light makes it hard to see. "Alright, take your things and get out." The driver tells them.

Mukuro hasn't let go off her duffel bag ever since entering the truck. Slinging it around her shoulder, she jumps out of the truck and looks at her surroundings, still trying to adjust to the light. It's a lot warmer than before, she immediately notices.

She sees lot of bleak looking shrublands and mountains, almost resembling a desert. She listens to the driver, who's in the process of intently studying a map, mutter to himself, though she doesn't understand a word he's saying.

Someone whistles behind her, one of the recruits. She glances at him. He's tall, lanky, and has light brown hair. The Fenrir member at the airport called him X-3 -- she's X-4 -- which makes sense seeing as their identities need to be protected. Junko would probably call him 'despairingly average looking'. Certainly not what Mukuro thinks of when she hears the word 'mercenary'. "Nice view," he says. "We get to ride camels, yes?"

There is a scoff. "There aren't any camels in Turkey, moron. Guess someone didn't bother doing any kind of research." Another recruit, the one who swore earlier, says that so smugly that Mukuro already knows the others are all going to dislike him. He's smaller than the other recruits, except for her, his curly brown hair is close to looking black, and he's the only one among them with dark skin. He was referred to as X-2.

"Why aren't we blindfolded?" The remaining recruit, X-1, asks, sounding like she's asking herself more than anyone else. She's even taller than the lanky X-3, very pale, and her head is shaved. Mukuro wonders if she should get her head shaved as well while she's here. It seems practical. "Isn't it a risk for them to let us know their approximate location?"

X-3 makes a surprised sound. "I haven't thought of that, but you're right."

"Yes, I'm sure you know better than the greatest PMC on the planet." X-2 says, and Mukuro doesn't have to turn around to know he's rolling his eyes. "What would this crappy desert here tell us? Come on."

"What?" X-3 asks. "PMC? What are you talking about?"

"Did your parents drop you on your head when you were a baby? I won't even dignify that with an answer." X-2 jeers.

"You don't have to be mean about it..." X-3 mutters childishly.

"Ignore him," X-1 advises. "He's trying to get a rise out of you."

"Oh my God, you're a genius!" X-2 mocks. "Now _how_ did you figure that one out?" When there is no response, he adresses Mukuro for the first time. "Hey, tiny. Are you gonna keep standing there with a stick up your ass or are you gonna join your new best friends over here?"

Mukuro ignores him, continuing to look at the surroundings instead. She gives the other recruits some thought as well.

She can't quite place X-3's accent, but he could be from either Germany, Switzerland, or Austria. X-2 is obviously an US American. X-1 has a slight Russian accent, she believes, though it could be another Eastern European one. Accompanying Junko to her fashion shows and model gigs has caused her to be exposed to quite a few different accents from a variety of models and the like, so she's pretty adept at telling them apart. Still not as good as her sister though, obviously.

"Maybe she doesn't understand English." X-3 says. "She's Korean or something, yes?"

"You can speak English and it's obviously not your native language, you xenophobic shithead." X-2 replies, sounding disgusted. "Besides, she's Japanese. And she understands us, I can tell by her body language." She's been trying to keep her body language to a minimum, so at least he deserves credit for being perceptive. "Hey!" He adresses her again. "It's not polite to ignore someone who's talking to you."

"Like you're one to talk about being polite." X-1 says. "She doesn't want to talk to you. Leave her alone."

"Enough chatter!" The driver interrupts, folding the map in his hands and walking past Mukuro towards the mountains. "Everybody, follow me."

They walk for quite some time, often in a pattern that makes no sense to Mukuro. Presumably this Fenrir organization wants to confuse them, for them not to remember the path to their headquarters, but if that's the case she wonders why they haven't been checked for surveillance devices yet. Their belongings have been checked, but not their bodies. Maybe it isn't their HQ after all, just a temporary location that they'll abandon after the recruits are done with basic training.

They pass some of the mountains and walk through more shrublands, the vegetation getting more and more sparse. The driver stops eventually, probably three hours after they've begun walking. He reaches down and pulls on a measly looking bush, opening a trapdoor in the process. This definitely isn't their HQ then. The location is too impractical. How feasible is an underground hideout anyway?

"Everybody, down the ladder." The driver says. "There'll be a big metal door. Knock, wait until someone asks you for a password, then, I don't care who of you, tell them 'B4P2'. Got it?"

"Yes, B4P2. Got it." X-1 answers, while X-2 is already climbing down the ladder.

Mukuro goes after him. Climbing with her duffel bag is a bit difficult, but nothing she can't handle. When she arrives the bottom, she looks up and tries to measure how long the climb is. Probably about thirty meters. Junko's verdict would be more accurate.

There is a sting of pain in her chest at the thought of her sister.

X-1 arrives a few seconds after her, followed by X-3. X-2 knocks on the metal door. The small security window on the door opens. Before anyone can ask, he yells: "B4P2!"

The man who opens the door looks at them in an annoyed fashion. He eyes all of them, but they rest on Mukuro. "So, I've heard correctly," he mutters. "We're now a part time kindergarten."

Mukuro doesn't respond.

"Well, not my problem." The man says. "Follow me."

He leads them through a tunnel that seems to get wider and wider. It almost reminds Mukuro of a subway, only there are no rails and the floor is made of pure metal instead. And the ceiling is lower, of course. Made of metal too. So are the walls. There are a couple of doors they walk past, all of which are an identical blue and closed. They walk past some people as well, most of them looking at the four of them, especially her it seems, with open interest.

It feels oppressive here, the atmosphere most of all. She hopes they won't have to stay here for long.

The man stops in front of one of the identical looking doors. They follow him inside. The room feels like a waiting room at the dentist, almost. "You're all getting a thorough medical examination before we continue," he says. So she was sort of correct. "And I _mean_ thorough. They'll check if you're wearing a wire, a bug, or any other surveillance devices. We've already run you through some metal detectors -- not that you've noticed -- but we want to be sure. Carelessness usually means death in this kind of business. You'll do well to keep that in mind. You." He inclines his head towards X-3. "Go through the door. The others wait until they're called in."

X-3 obeys, opening the door and closing it behind him after walking through it.

"I hope there's gonna be a prostate exam." X-2 says, almost leering at the man. "I love when things get intimate."

"If you like getting things shoved into you, then I'm sure you won't mind my fist getting shoved into your face either." The man casually replies.

X-2 opens his mouth, presumably to give a retort, but X-1 interrupts. "Shut up," she hisses to him. "You'll get us all into trouble."

The man looks at her, bemused. "I'm not the kind of guy who punishes the whole group because one of them is a smartass." He pauses. "Good call though. Some of the personnel you'll encounter aren't as nice. Better keep that in mind. Anyway, here's where I leave you. You aren't allowed to exit this room until the doctor calls you in for the examination, unless there's an emergency. If you do that, well... trust me, you don't want to get a reprimand on the same day you arrive."

He leaves the three of them alone in the room. It doesn't take long for the silence to break, though surprisingly it isn't the talkative X-2 who does.

"I thought you looked very young," X-1 says, a frown on her face. "But that kindergarten comment earlier... just how young _are_ you, X-4? You're definitely a minor."

Mukuro ignores her.

"You really shouldn't be here." X-1 continues, with an air of awkwardness. "I mean... it's wrong. There must be some kind of mistake."

"Whatever happened to leaving her alone?" X-2 interjects. "Fenrir doesn't make mistakes. Stop making such a fuss."

"She's just a child." X-1 says in a quiet mutter. "How can a child be skilled enough to join Fenrir anyway? It doesn't make any sense."

"What's it to you?" X-2  looks at Mukuro, his eyes narrowing. "She's probably a prodigy. There's this group in Italy that uses little girls as assassins. Maybe she's one of them." He raises his voice. "Hey, tiny! Care to share?"

Mukuro ignores him.

"Trying to be the strong, silent type?" X-2 lets out a short burst of laughter. "You're about five feet tall and you look like you're twelve. I'm afraid it's not gonna work." When there is no answer, he sighs. "Fine, don't talk. You're really impressing everyone here."

He tries to talk to X-1 afterwards, and considering there isn't anyone else the woman can talk to here he has some moderate success in spite of his irritating behavior.

X-2 gets called in next, after X-3 leaves the room. The latter only tries speaking to her one time, after almost an hour of silence among them. "I'm sorry for assuming you were Korean earlier," he says awkwardly. "I didn't mean anything bad with it. We get a lot of tourists from Korea back home. I like them. I like the Japanese too. They're all friendly."

Mukuro ignores him, though she's quietly wondering what on earth he is on about.

X-1 seems to think the same. "What are you even talking about?" She asks. "Leave the girl alone. The apology is enough."

"I was just trying to be nice." X-3 mutters.

X-1 is about to say something else when the door opens, and the doctor calls Mukuro inside next. She had no interest in participating in any conversation anyway, so she almost welcomes it. Still...

Mukuro braces herself. Something tells her that medical examination is going to be uncomfortable. They'll touch her for sure, and she doesn't like being touched by anyone who isn't Junko. Still, she can't show any weakness.

Without hesitation, she walks through the door, closing it behind her.

 

-

 

The medical examination is more than uncomfortable.

The doctor peppers her with questions, tells her to fill out forms, and finally examines her. The last part feels both humiliating and violating, and Mukuro is glad when it's finally over and she can push it out of her mind.

Afterwards, the four of them are separated. The three other recruits apparently have to go to some kind of training course while Mukuro follows some Fenrir member into the opposite direction, until they're in front of another one of those identical blue doors.

As soon as Mukuro enters and the door closes behind her, a deep voice starts speaking. "You are that girl I have heard so much about." Behind a table that looks like it belongs in an office, complete with a computer and an electric fan, a bearded man squints at her. He runs his hand through his thick black hair, as if merely looking at her just gave him a headache. "Loki seems to believe you will be a valuable asset. In time. Athena and I are more than a little skeptical."

Mukuro couldn't care less for this man's opinion on her. She steadily meets his gaze and doesn't reply.

"Well, we did support his decision in the end. I advise you to not make us regret that." The man's voice sounds casual, yet it's clearly a threat. "But let us not dwell on the negative. I am Ahriman, one of the three leaders of Fenrir and the only one present at this outpost right now. Loki and Athena are the other two leaders. No, those are not our real names. We use pretentious code names in Fenrir. Take a seat."

She does as she's told, putting the strangely comforting presence that is her duffel bag on her lap. 'Ahriman', this man has called himself. Also known as Angra Mainyu, an evil spirit in the Zoroastrian religion who is often compared to the devil in the Christian religion. She supposes the name is fitting, considering his position. The other names are interesting too. 'Loki' is the trickster god in Norse mythology and also the father of the wolf 'Fenrir'. Mukuro assumes this Loki is the one who founded the organization because of that parallel. The third name, 'Athena', is obviously from Greek mythology. The goddess of war and wisdom, fittingly enough.

Who would have thought Junko's short phase, where she was very interested in mythology and religion, would come in handy like this? Well, then again knowing the meaning behind the leaders' names doesn't really help her.

"So." Ahriman says after watching her for a few seconds. He leans back on his chair. "You are healthy and in good shape for your age, the doctor has told me. More than good shape. You must have worked hard to become this muscular at your young age. It will make your training here easier. I suppose you wish to know about your training?"

Mukuro nods, not surprised by the verdict. She has been using most of her free time after Junko and her had been adopted on exercising, after all.

"You will receive training in firearms, for one. Not just target practice, but the mechanics behind it. You will learn how to take a gun apart, how to clean it, how to reassamble it again. Close combat, too. With a knife as well as your fists. Tactics, survival skills, other basic skills, even military slang. There are a lot of things to learn for you. Your instructors will go into more detail. Of course, we will also train your physical fitness the entire time. You are above average for your age, but that is not enough for Fenrir. Keep this in mind: it does not matter how good your aim is or how sharp your instincts are, if your body is not up to our standards you will die. Do you understand?"

Again, Mukuro nods. She expected these people to have high standards.

"I feel the need to inform you that in our profession, verbal communication is the standard." Ahriman says dryly.

"I understand." Mukuro says.

"Good. A word of advice: there are no real ranks in Fenrir, but you should adress squad, platoon, and company leaders with 'sir' and 'ma'am'. The same goes for your instructors, as well as Loki and Athena. I do not care myself. The other two, though? They will be very cross if you do not. Loki will give you a lecture on proper respect, for one. Trust me, you do not want to listen to an hour of that." Ahriman gets a thoughtful look on his face. "Athena will probably break your nose. Do not take it personally. As a woman, she has to be more brutal than her male peers. If she tolerated any disrespect, the men would not acknowledge her. This applies to you as well now. You will not be in a leadership position anytime soon, if you even make the cut, but you are very young. That will make it even harder for you to earn respect. Do you understand?"

"I understand." Mukuro says. She doesn't care about earning anyone's respect. She just wants to train, to improve. She told Junko she would become more useful. She doesn't want that to be a lie.

"Right now, you are nothing and will be treated accordingly. You will remain that way for a long time. Everybody knows why you are here, but they all think you will fail miserably. Prove them wrong."

"I will." Mukuro says.

"A person of few words. Perhaps I should have asked this sooner, but do you speak English fluently? More or less?"

Mukuro considers that. She hasn't had any trouble understanding him so far. The few words she didn't understand, she's managed to figure out from the context of his other words. That doesn't mean she never will, though. "I do, but there are some words I probably don't know." She says slowly, careful not to make any mistakes. She's good at English, but speaking the language out loud is another thing entirely.

Ahriman makes a dismissive gesture with his right hand. "There are plenty of native English speakers who also have trouble with certain words. Americans, mostly. The British as well. Australians, I do not know. I do not understand them enough to be able to tell." He pauses, as if giving Mukuro a chance to say something. Is she supposed to?

"I see." Mukuro says.

Ahriman gives her a sour look. "It is their accent. I caught the barest hint of one when you said more than two words just now, but you speak well. I have a slight accent myself, in case you have not been able to tell, although I hide it behind precise diction, a thesaurus, and an impeccable sense of humor."

"... I see." Mukuro repeats, puzzled by this man's behavior. It's hard to imagine someone like that is one of the leaders of an organization that regularly wages war and kills thousands of people, especially one with such prestige. And what do dinosaurs have to do with this conversation anyway?

"Yes, I see as well. I see you have no sense of humor. _But_!" Ahriman claps his hands together. "You are not here to listen to me ramble. Let us continue. I should start with the rules. The most important rule of all -- well, according to Loki -- is that we do not tolerate any infighting. If you have any problems with somebody here that, in your opinion, requires violence to solve, then you take care of that during sparring. It is the unofficial problem solver here, you see? Any fighting outside of that will be punished. You may defend yourself if somebody is attacking you. Other than that there are no exceptions."

"I understand." Mukuro doubts she'll ever have to beat anyone up. She's planning on more or less ignoring everyone here, save for her instructors and the leaders. She doesn't see why she'd want to even acknowledge anyone else's existence, or why they'd bother with her.

"The second rule: you do not leave this outpost. You will have to go outside for your training sometimes, but only with an instructor. They will keep an eye on you, so do not get any ideas about running."

"Why would I run?" Mukuro asks him. "I came here, because I wanted to."

Ahriman laughs at that. "Well, after a week here? You will want to run. Although... perhaps not. Something tells me you have what it takes. Either way, the third rule: obey your training plan. Self-explanatory, really. Have I forgotten anything?" He strokes his beard thoughtfully, before shrugging. "Most likely. Oh well, you will figure it all out yourself. Do you have any questions?"

Mukuro asks the most important one. "How do I send letters to my family from here? I want to make sure my sister knows I'm alright."

"Ah, that is unfortunate." Ahriman says in an almost regretful tone. "Communication with your family is prohibited. Loki's orders. I apologize for his rampant paranoia."

"Why is it not allowed?" Mukuro asks, trying to keep the desperation out of her voice. Junko... she can't keep her in the dark like this. What if Junko just started assuming she was dead after never getting any letters?!

"Like I said, Loki's paranoia. Well, I suppose it has been working out for him, but it can still be quite excessive." Ahriman takes a deep breath. "If you wrote a letter to your sister, he would suspect it to be some kind of secret message even though the chances of you being a spy are practically zero. Or he would think the Americans might intercept it somehow and somehow use your identity to follow the paper trail that we have already gotten rid of and somehow find our hideout here." He exhales. "Once again, I apologize on his behalf."

"But..." Mukuro's mind works furiously. "There has to be something. What about e-mails?"

"Loki would answer with: 'digital surveillance'. Do not bother giving me any suggestions. Even if you came up with an argument that Loki would not be able to counter -- which I am sure would not be very difficult -- he would still not agree to it. To him, the safest option is simply not allowing it to begin with. That is all." Judging from the vaguely sympathetic look on Ahriman's face, he has to realize how coldly furious she is right now. Mukuro doesn't care if that man feels bad for her. It won't make anything better for Junko.

"I see." She mutters. She should have asked the man who came to recruit her about communication. Then again, would he have told her the truth? "I have another question. The man who recruited me told me I won't be allowed to leave until I pay Fenrir back for training me. How long will that be? He didn't tell me."

"Loki is putting a lot of time and money into training you. We usually do not do that, but he seems to think you are worth the investment." Ahriman says, more musing to himself than talking to her. He adresses her again. "If you manage to become one of us, he will want you to make it worth our while. That means you will take part in a lot of operations, some of them very delicate. That, in turn, means you will attain a lot of knowledge about Fenrir that Loki would not want anybody else to know." He lets out a short laugh. "I believe he has the desire to kill anybody who leaves Fenrir, both out of paranoia and because he feels slighted, but he also knows that doing so is not feasible. We would get a bad reputation and nobody would want to work for us anymore, you see?"

"Yes." Mukuro replies, anxiety swelling inside of her. She hasn't considered that this organization would make her stay for all that long before. She's getting a bad feeling about this right now.

"Since children are unreliable, Loki has decided that you belong to Fenrir until you are legally considered an adult." Ahriman continues. "Since you are Japanese, that means until you are twenty years old."

"I understand." Mukuro says, keeping her voice even in spite of the dread she's feeling. Junko has told her she has three years, not five. More than five, even! What is she supposed to do? "... If I may ask for something," she begins carefully. "I really need to let my family know about that. I understand that communication is not allowed, but there has to be some kind of way. Can that man who recruited me go to my sister and tell her?"

"Perhaps an one-time message could be arranged." Ahriman offers. "I cannot promise anything. It is up to Loki, in the end. I will try to convince him that slighting the person he is putting so much investment into would be a bad idea. He will probably take it out of your future salary, though."

"Thank you." Mukuro says. This wasn't a 'yes', but it was more than she's expected. Still, she's not feeling very grateful in spite of her words and it probably shows.

"Well, do not dwell on the negative. Channel that anger of yours and use the energy to train hard." Ahriman suggests. Mukuro glares at him in response. "Hm, since I can see you are upset already, perhaps we _should_ dwell on the negative to get it over with."

"What does that mean?" Mukuro asks.

"Well. For one, I was not joking when I said you should train hard. If you do not, you will die." Ahriman informs her in a cheery tone.

Mukuro blinks. "You mean if I don't train hard enough, I will make a mistake on the battlefield and die?" It's the most logical assumption to make, but something tells her that's not what he meant.

"No, no. Well, that too. I am saying that at the end of your training -- you get one year, by the way -- you will be evaluated. If Loki, Athena, and I do not think you are up to Fenrir's standards, we will have to decide whether you have made enough progress or not. If you have, we will train you further. If you have not, we will execute you." Ahriman's cheerful tone hasn't changed despite his words. "Of course, if it was up to me, we would just send you back to your home. But Loki? He does not like taking risks, even if he cannot think of any. Also, he might just kill you out of anger for wasting his time and money."

"... I understand." Mukuro says. The risk of death has been on her mind. She wishes she could say she wasn't afraid to die, but... she is. Well, not really. It's less death itself and more the thought of leaving Junko behind. She can't die. Especially not without Junko ever learning about it. "I won't fail." She adds.

Ahriman's face lights up at her words. "I respect your resolve! Now, I should go speak to the other recruits. We would not want to make it seem like I am giving you special treatment, you see?" He stands up from his chair. Mukuro follows his example. "The man outside will take you to your room. Enjoy the luxury, for now. If you join us, you will have to sleep among the others like everybody else. Hm. It seems as though you _are_ receiving special treatment after all."

"I didn't ask for it." Mukuro tells him. The way he's putting it rubs her the wrong way. She doesn't need things handed to her.

"Loki's orders." Ahriman says. "Ah, speaking of. Before you leave... technically, you can go wherever you want during your free time -- not that you will have much -- as long as you do not leave the outpost, but I suggest staying in your room and locking it. If you do not want to, then avoid the more secluded places." Suddenly, his jovial demeanor changes entirely. He looks deadly serious as he speaks. "Loki has made it clear that anybody who touches you will have all of their limbs broken and get fed to the wolves afterwards, but you cannot be sure no one will try anyway. Some of the men here are nothing more than vicious animals. They will see a young girl like you and think of her as easy prey. Which you are, for now. Do you understand me?"

Swallowing down her revulsion, Mukuro answers: "Yes."

"Well, then." Ahriman's demeanor changes back to being cheerful immediately. "It was good to meet you! I will see you in a week, to check on your training. You may leave."

There are still some question she wants to ask, but Mukuro understands a dismissal when she hears it. Slinging her duffel bag over her shoulders, she turns around and leaves the room.

Once outside, the man waiting for her mutters at her to follow. While she does, she notices some of the men staring at her in interest just like before. Only now, some of that interest looks different to her than it did before. She glues her eyes to the guide's back while she walks, trying to ignore everyone around her. She can't ignore what they're saying to her as she walks by them, however.

"Hey, isn't that the little gook girl the boss was talking about?" A man asks.

"She isn't that bad looking. I've fucked uglier bitches." A second man says.

"It's no fun when they're that young." A third man adds.

"What're you talking about? That's the most fun." The second man retorts.

A fourth man says something too, followed by laughter, but she doesn't hear it. It's probably better that way.

Mukuro feels her teeth clench.

It doesn't matter whether they're elite mercenaries or homeless drunkards. It seems that men will always be savage beasts.

Her guide leads her to yet another identical door that's apparently her room, and tells her he'll come get her in three hours -- for dinner in the mess hall. Mukuro isn't really in the mood to eat anything and doubt she will be in only a few hours, but she probably should. She needs all the energy she can get. It's not like she'll be able to avoid the people here forever either, even if she wants to.

Finally alone in her room, Mukuro lets out a deep breath. She hasn't been nervous, not exactly, but it's good to be by herself. It's good to know she has a place where she can be on her own, too. She doesn't want to get special treatment, but she can't help feeling relieved that she doesn't have to sleep in the same room as anyone else. Her experiences with the others haven't been good so far. It was naive to assume everyone would just ignore her if she did the same.

Some of the men here might try to assault her, just like that drunk man tried to assault Junko all those years ago. Mukuro wrinkles her nose. The thought of that is... well, she supposes it should scare her, but she finds herself feeling more disgusted than anything else. She should improve fast, so she will be able to fend them off if they ever make an attempt. If anyone tries... she wonders if she's allowed to kill them. It would be self-defense, wouldn't it?

She'd rather not think about that sort of thing right now, though.

Mukuro puts her duffel bag on the bed and looks at the room. It's little more than a broom closet, but she isn't complaining. There is a bed, a desk, and a chair. That's enough, even if it makes her already big room back at her adoptive parents' house look like a palace in comparison. She wonders about going to the toilet and washing herself, though. She kind of doubts this place has indoor plumbing.

Well, nevermind all of that.

She sits down on her new bed and waits. This day isn't over yet.

 

-

 

The mess hall is big and noisy.

Mukuro hasn't expected anything else. Still, it's kind of... she wouldn't say 'intimidating'. More like 'uncomfortable'. And of course, she notices that a lot of people are staring at her like before. Some of the men are openly leering, but luckily there's too much noise to make out anything they say.

Trying to ignore all of that, she takes her food and sits down at some empty table. The food isn't as disgusting as she's expected it to be, at least. Even if it looks like someone threw up on her plate.

She's only barely started eating when an obnoxious voice interrupts her. "Sitting alone, huh? Well, you do look like a nerd." Mukuro looks up just in time for a man to sit down on the opposite of her. It's one of the recruits she arrived with -- the mean-spirited one. X-2. "Don't worry," he says. "I'll make you look better by association."

"You're not done harassing this girl?" Another voice asks. It's X-1. With some dismay, Mukuro spots the woman sitting down next to her out of the corner of her eye. The remaining recruit, X-3, sits down next to X-2. Why are they sitting with her? She'd rather be alone.

"No, not really." X-2 replies. He gives X-1 a condescending smile. "You know... you don't _have_ to sit with me, Surkova. I get that I'm pretty, but you can admire me from afar too."

"They put us into the same squad. It makes sense to stay together." X-1, or Surkova, tells him.

"That does make sense." X-3 offers.

"No one asked you, Kraut." X-2 retorts.

"That's not my name!" X-3 protests. His tone reminds Mukuro of how Junko used to whine at their biological parents to let them stay up longer. "It's Herzog! I call you Octavian too, yes? It's polite. And I am not German, I am from Switzerland!"

"Totally slipped my mind. Sorry, Kraut."

"Do not call me that!" X-3, or Herzog, demands. Or tries to demand. "'Kraut' is a slur!" X-2, or Octavian, laughs loudly in response. "I mean it! Why are you Americans so rude?"

"Are you two little children?" Surkova asks incredulously. "God help me, my squad has been cursed with immature fools."

"Octavian started it!" Herzog argues.

"Yeah, that's definitely gonna change her perception of you." Octavian tells him sarcastically. His eyes fall on Mukuro, and she already feels fed up before he even says anything. "So, what did Ahriman talk to you about?" He asks her.

Mukuro ignores him and shovels another bit of brown sludge into her mouth.

"That's getting seriously old, you know?" Octavian sighs. "Come on. Tell me, and I'll tell you which country I think we're in."

That gets Mukuro to glance at him. What does he mean by that? They were being driven in a truck for about five hours. Considering they started in Ankara, there's no way they could be outside of Turkey. Five hours isn't enough time to get anywhere else.

Surkova seems to think similiarly to her. "What are you talking about?" She asks him.

"Yeah! What are you talking about?" Herzog parrots.

"Oh, so you couldn't figure it out yourselves?" Octavian asks them smugly. "I'm not surprised. You'd have to be pretty knowledgeable, like me." He looks at Mukuro again. "Well, do we have a deal?"

It's probably not something she has to know, but maybe it will give her an advantage somehow. She supposes she'll have to talk to the people here sooner or later anyway. At least this man hasn't made some disgusting comment to her. "We talked about my training," Mukuro mutters. "He said I'm going to be trained for a year. Then they will look at how much progress I've made and evaluate me."

"So you _can_ talk!" Octavian marvels. He smirks. "If they're not happy with the result, they're gonna kill you. Am I right?" Mukuro nods. "Well, better make them happy then!"

"Why can't they just send you back home?" Surkova questions. "I don't see the sense in killing a child for such a reason." Mukuro doesn't answer her. She doesn't have one.

"Loki, the guy in charge of everything, is obviously a complete nutter." Octavian answers in her stead. "I mean, look at this place. Who the hell builds an outpost like this in the middle of nowhere? Getting supplies here must be a nightmare. And what's with the confusing way we've been led here? Like any of us are gonna run away and lead the US army through this shitty desert to their door step."

"He must be doing something right. Otherwise, Fenrir would not be as feared as it is." Surkova argues.

"I didn't say he was doing anything wrong. Just that he's a lunatic." Octavian retorts. "Anyway," he says, adressing Mukuro again. "What else did you two talk about?"

"He told me I'm not allowed to leave. And that I belong to Fenrir for five years, to pay them back for training me." Mukuro says. "That was everything important."

"Really? That's it?" Octavian asks, obviously skeptical.

"He said I would have to learn most things by myself." Mukuro answers.

"He did say that to us too, kinda. Still seems weird, but whatever. Alrighty then." Octavian leans forward, a wide grin on his face. "What if I told you we were a lot further in the south than any of us knew?"

"Just tell us what country you're talking about. Stop drawing this out." Surkova says to him, in an annoyed voice.

"Okay, okay. So... did none of you realize how warm it was while we were walking?" Octavian makes a show of looking around. Mukuro has, but she doesn't feel like saying so. "None of you? Doesn't it seem weird? It's early February. It's not supposed to be this warm in Turkey right now."

"There's a lot of different climate in Turkey. It's a big country." Surkova interjects.

"True, but nothing that drastic. Point me to where in Turkey it'd have over seventy-seven degrees Fahrenheit right now."

"I only know Celsius, because I am not a foolish American."

Octavian rolls his eyes. "Fine. Twenty-five degrees Celsius, then. Pretty sure that's impossible in Turkey during early February."

"... Fine, you have a point." Surkova concedes. "Continue."

Octavian obliges. "Alright, so... Turkey's time zone is Arabian Standard Time. UTC +3. I've precisely counted the hours ever since we left Ankara and cross-referenced that with the clocks here earlier. We're still in the same time zone. When we consider that and exclude the countries with a drastically different climate, we can already be sure we aren't anywhere in Europe. Not that there are many European countries with that time zone."

"Belarus is one of them," Surkova mentions. "Russia, too. You're right. That can't be it."

"Right, so... that narrows the result down a bit. But since I'm a genius, I can narrow it down even more." Octavian taps his head and smiles smugly. "The wildlife I've seen on the way here tells me this isn't Africa either. We're definitely somewhere in the Middle East. That means Saudi Arabia, Iraq, Yemen, Kuwait, Qatar, and Bahrain. Hard to say where exactly."

"Hey, wait, that's not what you told her!" Herzog points at Mukuro. "You said you'd tell us which country we're in, but you listed six countries! That is a mistake, yes?"

Octavian's smile widens. "I said I'd tell her which country I _think_ we're in. Personally, I think it's Yemen, because I could swear I saw an Arabian leaf-toed gecko out there. Those are native to Saudi Arabia too, but since Saudi's ruling class is allied to the good old US of A, it makes more sense for a Fenrir base to be in Yemen instead."

"That still doesn't make any sense," Mukuro points out. "There is no way we could be where you say we are. The drive only lasted for about five hours."

"Doesn't it seem strange to you that the truck was completely sound proof?" Octavian asks her. "I mean, you'd think we would have heard something going on outside at some point."

Mukuro hasn't paid much attention to that, as a matter of fact. But she did make note of it and it does seem strange, now that he mentions it.

"Stop it with the questions and just tell us." Surkova snaps at him.

"Well, I'm just saying that travelling such a distance is impossible." Octavian says innocently. "Unless we flew."

"... Come again?" Herzog asks.

"Simple! They drove our truck inside a plane, flew us to a certain point, and then drove us to our destination from there. Obviously, we'd just assume we were only driven this entire time."

"That is utterly insane." Surkova says flatly. "Who would go through all this trouble, just to make sure we don't know which country we're in? When we're going to leave soon again anyway, apart from this girl?" She nods at Mukuro.

"The paranoid lunatic who runs this organization." Octavian simply answers.

"Even if he is paranoid, that is just ridiculous!" Surkova fires back. "I refuse to put that much trust into your knowledge of the Middle East's climate and wildlife. You could be making all of this up, for all we know. What if you did not count the time correctly? What if we're still in Turkey and you simply misjudged everything?"

"Hey, you can think whatever you want." Octavian shrugs. "But I'm still a fucking genius. And the guy we're working for is still a lunatic."

For her part, Mukuro thinks they're exaggerating this man's paranoia. It's better to be more cautious than less cautious, isn't it? Considering the kind of organization he's running, it makes sense.

"Thank you for the information." She tells Octavian. Truthfully, she doesn't feel very thankful right now, but she might as well say something.

"You're thanking him?" Herzog asks, confused. "He tricked you. The stuff he told you could be wrong too, just like Surkova said."

Mukuro doesn't answer. If anything, it'd be her fault for being tricked. She always falls for Junko's tricks too, so she should really know better at this point. At least this man has told her _something_ of use. And for some reason, she believes everything he's told her.

"You have good manners." Octavian says approvingly. "I hope you pull through, tiny. I'd love to see your training, but the three of us are gonna leave soon. To, y'know, actually do some shooty and explodey stuff."

"I am also excited for that!" Herzog adds.

"I still can't believe I'm on the same squad as you two." Surkova mutters in distaste. She gazes at Mukuro. "But I echo what Caligula here said. I hope you make it."

"Caligula?" Octavian asks flatly. "Oh, that's original."

"Perhaps you would prefer Nero?" Surkova suggests in a tone just as flat.

"Huh? What are you two talking about?" Herzog asks. "Isn't that the character from that movie. The Matrix?"

"God help me." Surkova mutters to herself, while Octavian stares at Herzog in disbelief.

"Speaking of movie characters, can you believe the leader calls himself after that Marvel character? Loki?" Herzog laughs. "What a strange man."

"Wow. Somehow, you've made me lower my already extremely low opinion of you." Octavian says. "Can you believe this guy?" He asks Mukuro.

"... I know that Caligula and Nero were Roman Emperors," Mukuro says. "But I don't know these other names."

"That is a good thing." Surkova tells her. "Believe me."

"What do you mean? Marvel makes some great movies." Herzog argues.

"Please, shut up."

The rest of the dinner is mostly in silence. They barely try to talk to Mukuro during that, which she is glad for. She has talked enough to them already, for her liking. Although... she supposes it's good to know not everyone here is a disgusting sex offender in the making. It's too bad they'll leave so soon. If they continued to sit with her after today, she wouldn't have to worry about some of the other people here potentially trying to talk to her.

Being mildly annoyed is better than having to tolerate sexual harassment.

It's questionable whether she will ever see any of these people again. Would she even want to? She supposes since she's talked to them already, it would be more convenient to be in their squad later on. For her, that is. She can't imagine they would want a child in their team.

When they leave though, Octavian tells her he hopes they'll meet again. Mukuro doesn't know why he would hope for that, but she nods in response. Surkova advises her not to let her guard down, making the same implication Ahriman has made earlier. Herzog, meanwhile, advises her to watch a Marvel movie. She doesn't plan on doing the latter.

Once she's alone again, she quickly finishes her dinner and leaves the mess hall. On her way back to her room, she tries to keep her guard up. She doesn't think anyone will try anything in the middle of the hallway, but why risk it? At least she doesn't have the endure any comments, since the hallway is practically empty.

When she's in her room, door locked behind her, Mukuro feels a bit better.

She sits down on her bed.

She's glad the day is finally over. Tomorrow, she'll finally start training. She supposes starting today would have felt a bit too overwhelming with everything else happening.

It has only been about a day since she left Junko, but it feels like a month.

... She already misses her.

Despite everything Junko's done to her recently, despite how terrible Mukuro's felt around her in the past few months... despite all of that....

Her heart aches.

She zips open her duffel bag and looks at the picture on top of everything. She takes it out, and returns the smile Junko is giving her. It's by far her most favorite picture of Junko. Genuine smiles have been so rare from her recently...

"Even if it's a little longer than we said," Mukuro mumbles at the picture, speaking Japanese for the first time today. "Please wait for me, Junko-chan. I will definitely return to you." She'd love to return sooner, but what can she do? She can't kill all of these people even after training as hard as she's capable of, can she? There are too many, and they're too good.

Junko would probably love if she did that though...

Junko...

Mukuro sighs. If only they could talk right now. Why did she even leave her? Didn't she overreact? What was she thinking...?

But then she thinks back to Junko's sharp grin, to the knife. To the sneering, and the insults. To Junko's laughter, while Mukuro cowered in front of her, clutching her bleeding wound. And she remembers.

_"Does it hurt, sis? Oh, don't look at me like that. 'Cause I know. I know you're craving for despair just like me! That's why you keep hoping. You wouldn't be stupid enough to do that even though you already know the outcome, right?!"_

She remembers why she left. She remembers why she has managed to leave in spite of her guilt.

Because Junko lied. Sisters don't lie to each other. Not when it comes to that. They both had promised that they'd never hurt each other, yet... Junko tried to kill her. She apologized afterwards, but...

Mukuro grimaces. What Junko did was awful, but she shouldn't have... blown up at her like that.

_"Don't start with that stupid 'despair' stuff again! You- you tried to... you know what, Junko? Why don't you grow up already?!"_

She should have tried to understand her better. The look on Junko's face after she'd said that to her... Mukuro will never forget it. She was afraid of her sister's anger as soon as she'd said it. It came eventually, yet... the look on Junko's face was pure pain and betrayal for the first few seconds.

The anger afterwards was almost merciful by comparison. At least it made her forget her guilt.

Despite the guilt though, her fear and discomfort eventually won out.

She had to leave. Mukuro tells herself that over and over. She had to leave, or otherwise... she couldn't have lived like this for much longer. She just needs to get stronger. Maybe Junko will mellow out a bit after some time away from her? Maybe they just need some space?

Mukuro lays down on her small bed. It's... peaceful, almost. With a sickening feeling of guilt, she realizes that she feels safer right now than she has in the last few months.

Even here, so many miles away in the middle of nowhere, in a place where she will suffer and go through hellish training that will test every limit she has... in a place where there are people who mean her harm, men who harass and prey on her...

Right now, she feels safer than she has felt with Junko recently.

She still loves Junko with all her heart. She's still devoted to her entirely.

She just needs some time away. And why not work on being more useful to Junko in the meanwhile? Maybe... if she is useful enough, Junko will never hurt her again...?

When Mukuro closes her eyes and tries to sleep, it takes a while.

That night, she dreams of Junko. Of a smile that isn't cruel, of laughter that isn't mocking. She dreams of Junko and her, walking hand in hand through a meadow full of dandelions. They blow in the wind, along with her sister's red hair.

Yet Junko is not Ryouko. Not anymore. And even in her dream, she knows that.

When Mukuro wakes up in the morning, she has already forgotten her dream.

* * *

 


	2. Snarl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Art of my gf based on the last chapter: https://inacron.tumblr.com/post/175658932356 (it's kinda sad...)
> 
> So, here we are with the second chapter. Ludicrously long, again. Which is a shame, since I only wanted to take one week to update. I think I'm having too much fun writing this...
> 
> I hope you enjoy it, for lack of a better term!

* * *

 

Like most other rooms inside the outpost here, the gym feels like a prison.

A ceiling made of metal, walls made of metal, sparse training equipment... the only consolation is that the mat under them is fairly soft, which means that at least it doesn't hurt _that_ badly whenever the close combat instructor knocks her to the ground.

That happens quite often.

Mukuro stumbles backwards, only barely able to keep herself on her feet after the punch she's just received.

It's far from the first punch, kick, jab, or slap she's received during this week. It's not even the worst one she's received today. Her battered and bruised body can attest to that.

"Too slow, little rat." The close combat instructor tells her in his deep, rumbling voice. He's been ridiculing her like this for the entire week already. Something tells her he's only going to get worse about it. "Again. Stance."

"Yes, sir." Mukuro forces out, resentful that she has to waste what little air she's able to suck into her lungs on this man. She doesn't like calling any of these people 'sir' or 'ma'am' either, but not doing so would just make things harder on her. The more she gets beat up, the less progress she's going to make.

She gets into the fighting stance he's shown her once more. She puts her left foot in front of her right foot, raising the latter's heel slightly to make movement easier. At the same time, she raises her hands until they're at about the same height as her chin is, making sure her arms are at around a ninety degree angle in order to protect her head better. She forces herself not to make a fist with either hand, to relax her hands and arms. If she's too tense, it will only slow her down once she goes on the offensive.

Not that she will go on the offensive anytime soon. For now, the instructor is only teaching her how to block and dodge attacks. Well, he claims to be teaching her anyway. It feels more like he's beating her up for sport.

Not wanting to be caught off-guard again, she tries her best to study his movements while he gets into his own stance... but like before, he's way too fast -- before she can properly react to it, another punch hits her in the shoulder.

Mukuro stiffles a pained gasp. She scrambles backwards, to evade a follow-up attack in case there is one. There is none, however, and she gets in her stance again.

"Slow. Painfully slow." The instructor says, his thick accent -- probably Russian -- only serving to make his words sound more mocking. "Scurrying is the only thing you are good at. Little rat."

He attacks again all of a sudden, right as he finishes speaking, though this time Mukuro reacts in time. She twists to the side to avoid his punch, but, as if his punch was tracking her, he turns at the same time and hits her in the face.

It knocks her off her feet. She lands on her side with a dull thud, her head ringing. There is a hot, pulsating sensation coming from her right cheek. Faintly, Mukuro tastes blood in her mouth.

While she still tries to get her bearings, his hand grabs the back of her neck and wrenches her on her feet again. At the start, he did that with her hair. It's one of the few reasons why she's shaved her head bald. Somehow, she manages to keep standing, glaring up to the giant man who's using her as a punching bag.

"You think you hate me after just a week?" The instructor asks her. Mukuro continues to glare at him silently. He scoffs. "You haven't even started yet." He knees her in the stomach.

Mukuro doubles over, vomit rising up in her throat. She manages to swallow it down again, and the bile burns in her throat. After taking a few shallow breaths, she stands up straight and gets in her stance again.

"You can take a beating. Maybe you're not a rat. Maybe you're a cockroach." The instructor notes. He raises his right hand. "Maybe I should swat you."

She sees the attack coming at the last second, but she can't avoid it in time. Mukuro's face burns with both pain and humiliation, courtesy of the slap he's given to her face.

She wants to kill this man. Not just for beating her up -- it's mostly that he's the first person who ever _could_ beat her up. It's obvious, really, considering he's an elite mercenary and she's a young teenager who barely has any experience in martial arts. Everyone here could probably beat her easily right now... but that doesn't soften the blow. It just makes it worse, knowing how far below everyone else's skills she is.

She's not used to being so outclassed in this kind of thing. She's usually the one doing the outclassing.

It's only been a week, the more rational part of her argues. How much progress can one make in a week? At least she sees the instructor's attacks coming by now -- it's just that she isn't capable of reacting to them before they hit her. She wasn't able to see any attacks coming a week ago. All of that may be true, yet...

She feels worthless. Like she's disappointed Junko somehow.

In the end, just like on every other day during her first week so far, she doesn't manage to block or evade a single attack. The instructor says something to her before he leaves, but considering her head is still ringing from the last hit to her head she doesn't hear him. It's probably just more mockery anyway.

"He may seem cruel, but he knows what he is doing." Ahriman tells her afterwards, while she's being treated in the medical facility. "Believe me, you will thank him for toughening you up once you are in the field."

Logically, Mukuro realizes Ahriman is most likely right about that. Considering she's spent this entire week as a punching back, though? It's hard to feel very appreciative. Still, despite how mellow Ahriman is, she has to be respectful enough to give a reply. "Understood, sir." She mutters. The 'sir' probably isn't necessary with him, but she realized pretty quickly that getting into anyone's bad graces because of disrespect would be an idiotic thing to do. Why risk it?

"Of course you do! You are a smart young girl."

Mukuro resents his cheer. She doesn't show it though. He probably wouldn't care even if she mouthed off to him, but, disrespect aside, showing weakness is all what such an outburst would accomplish.

"Ah, by the way. We sent the message you wanted to send to your sister." Ahriman says. "She did not wish to reply to you though, I am sad to tell you."

"... I see. Thank you for sending the message, sir." Mukuro answers, careful not to make a face. The fact that Junko didn't send her anything back hurts, but it also doesn't surprise her. She supposes Junko is justifiably upset with this development. Still, knowing how many years they'll have to be apart, couldn't she just... say something to her?

Maybe an 'I love you'? Anything at all? Isn't she owed that much? Especially because Junko is the one who...

It doesn't matter.

Ahriman considers her for a few moments, then nods. "Maybe we can send another message if you become a full member," he offers. "You will have to discuss that with Loki."

"Thank you, sir." Mukuro says neutrally. Ahriman most likely knows she isn't at all neutral when it comes to this, but she can't show it.

She can't be weak in front of anyone here.

She tries to calm herself and relax. Getting upset over Junko won't change anything. After all, she still has a lot of things ahead of her today.

Close combat is usually her first lesson of the day. It's the only one she has every single day since it's part of her physical fitness training, which is the priority for her right now. At the start she thought attending her other lessons only after always getting beaten up first thing in the morning was pointlessly sadistic, but Ahriman explained there is a reason behind that. _"Learning under pain and stress culls one's weakness from one's mind. It means you will not forget those lessons so easily. When you are in danger and have to make a quick decision, you will thank us for not coddling you. Or at least so Loki says."_ The last sentence was followed by him rolling his eyes, so Mukuro isn't sure how seriously she's supposed to take this advice.

Inaccurate or not, it won't change anything for her. All she can do is bear with it. It's not like the instructor hurts her that badly anyway. She can usually concentrate well enough afterwards, and barely needs any medication for the pain.

At least the next lesson doesn't involve anything taxing.

About half an hour after leaving the medical facility, she's on her way to the outpost's main entrance, seeing as her survival lessons are outside.

As it turns out, the trapdoor the other recruits and her used to enter the outpost is something like a back entrance or emergency exit, carefully constructed within the cave the outpost is partially located in, explaining the lack of any activity when they arrived. The main entrance doubles as the cave's mouth.

Mukuro waits until the gate guardian opens the giant steel door for her, much like the one at the back entrance, and walks outside into the hot, overbearing sunlight.

Even outside, the place still feels like a prison. Probably because of the chain-link fence -- complete with barbed wire -- surrounding the outpost. This bleak, almost desert-like region doesn't help. There is barely any vegetation, only a few bushes here and there. The terrain is mostly rocky, though the ground within the chain-link fence is at least fairly smooth.

There is quite a bit of activity going on outside. There are some Fenrir members patrolling, both within the outpost and outside of it. Because of all the hills surrounding the outpost, there are outlooks stationed at some of the highest points to keep an eye on the area.

Other Fenrir members are working out or sparring, and some are unloading trucks and carrying other equipment around. Some of the men are shirtless, unfortunately. Mukuro would rather they keep their clothes on, but she supposes it _is_ pretty hot outside. A few of the women are only wearing sports bras too. She doesn't really mind that.

If she was only wearing a sports bra herself, there's no doubt the men here would leer at her and make disgusting comments, but she barely sees them doing that to any of the women here. She wonders why. Would these women teach them a lesson over that? Do these men respect their female comrades enough not to act that way towards them? She can only hope it's the latter. It'd mean that once she becomes a member, the sexual harassment will stop. In the former case though, she believes she'll be able to teach a lot of lessons too. In due time.

She only barely likes the female Fenrir members more than the male ones. Most of them don't sexually harass her -- some of them do make disgusting comments along with the men once in a while -- but they aren't above racism or other kinds of insulting comments. She does like her only female instructor much better than the male ones, however.

Thinking of that, she ignores all of the Fenrir members outside alike and walks over to her survival instructor.

Today, she's learning how to set up tents and has to dig trenches. It feels kind of ridiculous after the intense lesson before that, but this kind of stuff is important too.

Despite her efforts to pay attention to the lesson though, the wolves keep catching her eye.

Her first time outside, she realized that Ahriman saying anyone who touched her would be fed to the wolves hadn't been just a metaphor. She was a bit surprised to see wolves patrolling the outpost, both with and without Fenrir members. Mostly by the chain-link fence surrounding the outpost, though some patrol through the entire area as well.

She's never cared much for animals. These wolves, though? She can't help but keep glancing at them. They look interesting, with their striking yellow eyes and their thin, grayish-brown fur. Sometimes, she gets the absurd urge to pet one of them when it's walking by. That's pretty unusual for her.

"Don't touch the wolves if you want to keep your fingers." The survival instructor suddenly says, interrupting her current lesson. Mukuro suppresses a wince. Has she been staring at the wolves too much? The woman sitting in front of her holds up her right hand, showing off a wolf tattoo that every member of Fenrir seems to have on one of their hands. "They only see you as their superior when you get the tattoo. That's how they've been trained."

"I wasn't going to, ma'am." Mukuro says, feeling almost embarrassed. For her to pay more attention to a bunch of animals than her important lessons... what is she, eight years old? She should add an apology. "I apologize for not paying attention."

The instructor grunts. "Don't let it happen again. No one tell you about the wolves yet?" Mukuro shakes her head. "Well, I might as well. They're Arabian wolves. They're small, aren't they? Among the smallest types of wolves in the world. First I thought training them was more trouble than it was worth, since they're not exactly the most dangerous of their kind out there, but the boss insisted. He had a point. They've turned out pretty useful, all in all. They're lucky we bothered with them too, if you ask me. They're endangered, you see? We breed them."

"They're trained to obey anyone with the tattoo?" Mukuro asks.

"There's more to their training than that, but that's a part of it. They'll often accompany us in the field too. A Fenrir merc gives the command, and they'll tear out anyone's throat. Can be especially useful if you don't want to waste a bullet on some fleeing _kuma nina_."

Mukuro nods. "I suppose I should just ignore them for now?"

"There's no rule that says you can't pet them," the instructor says, her tone as dry as the air around them. "But it's better not to approach them unless you have the tattoo and are a full member of Fenrir."

"Understood, ma'am." Mukuro replies, feeling embarrassed again. She wasn't asking if she could pet them. She doesn't want to make herself look immature or soft, so she wouldn't do that. Even though she kind of wants to. Well, she wouldn't do it if anyone was there to see it.

"You'll have to learn how to deal with them eventually." The instructor frowns. "I'll talk to Ahriman, actually. He'll contact the boss and see if you can get the tattoo early. He's weird about that stuff, but I think he'll see how it'd be useful if you got some experience with our wolves during your training. Hell, in case you flunk out, we've wasted a lot more on you than some stupid tattoo. Ahriman will convince him."

"Understood, ma'am." Mukuro repeats, not knowing what else to say. Commanding a wolf sounds kind of interesting, but she doesn't have much experience with any animals and how to deal with them.

After her survival lesson concludes -- luckily she didn't get distracted by any wolves again -- it's time for lunch.

Surprisingly enough, there is no brown sludge or goat meat today. Instead there's a stew with lamb and vegetables. Mukuro doesn't really care much about food, but she'd rather eat that than any of the other things so far. Nothing is outright disgusting, at least. Which makes sense, she supposes. The food has to be nutritious to some degree, considering that practically everyone here has a strict training regime to adhere to. Fenrir's mercenaries are the best of the best, after all.

After lunch, she has about two hours of free time. Mostly because it's counterproductive to work out right after eating. Really though, it's not _exactly_ 'free time'. There are some, for lack of a better term, 'homework' assignments she has. Things she needs to learn and practice on her own. Her main one for now is sewing.

She isn't very good at it. More than a bit clumsy, in fact, but she likes to think she's slowly getting better. She knows that sewing is a very practical skill for people in the military to possess, though she can't help but think that this seems more like Junko's area of expertise rather than hers whenever she pricks her fingers or gets frustrated at how slow she is.

Once her so-called free time is over, the rest of the day consists of a gruelling workout. Push-ups, pull-ups, lifting weights... those things are exhausting enough, but are nothing compared to the running. Especially when she has to put on a tactical vest and they make her run in the sweltering heat, through the outpost and over the hills beyond it. At least with the other things there is always a number she works towards. The running goes on until the instructor tells her to stop, and that man is not easy to please.

On her first day of training, she thought she was going to die from exhaustion afterwards. She'd been gritting her teeth all through it, very close to giving up at some points. But she hadn't, and the fitness instructor complimenting her afterwards felt strangely uplifting. Getting up in the morning after that was one of the most difficult things she's ever had to do though, almost harder than the running itself. Her entire body felt like it was screaming.

Junko would probably tell her something like: 'Hey, at least you got a nice tan from all the running outside.'

Still... even though it's only been a week, Mukuro's slowly getting used to it. It hasn't ceased to be incredibly exhausting and she has to force herself to wash up at one of the impromptu showers instead of just going to bed dirty and sweaty every single time, but it's getting easier to bear.

Right before she falls asleep after today's workout, she almost believes the soreness even feels satisfying.

The day afterwards isn't much better, at least where the close combat lesson is concerned. She gets beat up a bunch and leaves with plenty of bruises, like about half a dozen times before.

Her next lesson is the one she's interested in most, though.

Mukuro is looking through a high-powered scope, listening to her weaponry instructor's voice.

"Nowadays, snipers use ballistic computers for long range shots." The man tells her. "That's gonna make you bloody useless if it breaks or you lose it though. Hence, why I'm gonna teach you how to calculate it yourself. The calculation can be hard. Depends on how well you can estimate it all. Means it's not as reliable as a computer. You have to estimate the distance to the target first -- your rifle has a mil-dot scope, which lets you calculate the distance pretty reliably." He rambles down some numbers that mostly confuse Mukuro, though she tries her best to pay attention. At least she manages to understand the man's British accent at this point. She's relieved when he says he's going to explain it in more detail later. "You won't always have a convenient scope at hand though. Laser rangefinders are also fine. If you don't have either, you're gonna have to look for other ways to tell the distance. Sometimes you just have to guess. You with me so far, girlie?"

"Yes, sir." Mukuro says. Shooting a sniper rifle is more complicated than what she's done so far, apparently. Well, she won't complain. It's only her first week, but she's already fired so many different guns. Semi-automatic pistols, machine pistols, submachine guns, assault rifles... and now it's going to be a sniper rifle. That stuff she'd used during the survival games doesn't come close to _real_ weapons. She'd be lying if she said she hadn't been a bit excited at the prospect of firing all of those guns. She still kind of is, even if some of it gets complicated.

Nothing was given a great amount of detail as of yet. It seems that they just want to see how much of a natural she is on the shooting range first. And, well, she'd say she's doing pretty well so far.

The instructor continues his explanation on long range sniper shots, telling her how she also has to estimate the angle -- how much the target is above or below her. Wind speed and wind direction are important too, although the instructor notes that wind can be such an unpredictable factor that she should rather wait for it to die down in most situations. If her shot isn't an urgent one, that is. What kind of bullet she is using is part of the whole thing as wel. He lists a lot of numbers, measurements, and formulas.

Mukuro had no idea how much math would be involved in this. It's pretty intimidating, since she was never very good at that.

However...

As the lesson goes on, she finds that she actually sort of understands most of it. With the way he explains it, the numbers all somehow make sense to her. It's not nearly as complicated as it first seemed. She's surprised herself by how easy the formula gets as soon as she applies it to the target she's supposed to shoot.

"Take your time now." The weaponry instructor advises, murmuring quietly. "No need to rush that shot. Remember the other lessons and aim for center mass. Snipers going for the head is movie shite."

The target is on one of the nearby hills. Mukuro estimates it to be about twelve meters above her. The range is two hundred thirty-two meters. There is practically no wind. She's using a CheyTac M200 Intervention, with .408 rounds. The calculation in her head is easy.

She takes about five seconds until she fires. Right before she pulls the trigger, she just knows it's going to hit. Sure enough, through the scope, she sees the hole in the target's chest area appear. It feels... satisfying. Like she felt at the start whenever she won in those childish survival games, only a lot better.

"Well, fuck me." The instructor says, whistling. "I shouldn't be surprised at this point. You could probably hit that target with a fuckin' pepper-box revolver."

"Thank you, sir." Mukuro replies dutifully.

He snorts, probably knowing that her respect is feigned. It's not like she tries very hard not to make it appear like that. "Don't get cocky now though, girlie. You've got talent, but that was not a very hard shot."

"Understood, sir."

"Good. Now, the next target."

Throughout the lesson, she doesn't miss a single shot, much like with her previous shooting lessons. The other similiarity is that some aren't one-hundred percent accurate _("Thank fuckin' God, or else I'd have to assume you're a fuckin' robot.")_ , but all of them still do hit the target. She's a bit peeved she didn't do perfectly, if she's honest with herself. She's still mostly satisfied though.

Mukuro is loath to end the lesson, like always. Shooting is what she excels in. She's accurate, she's fast... and she enjoys doing it. She enjoyed the survival games too -- at least at first -- but now she feels ridiculous for ever thinking like that. It doesn't hold a candle to the real thing. And as silly as it may be to think that, calculating a long range shot while looking through the scope of her sniper rifle and pulling it off perfectly makes her feel kind of... smart.

That doesn't mean she hates the other lessons though. The survival lessons have been pretty interesting sometimes, for example. Most of the lessons serve an explicit purpose and will improve her skills, which makes them easier to bear whenever they get boring or difficult. And even though the close combat lessons haven't felt rewarding in any way so far, she rationally knows she's gotten just a little better. She knows that she _needs_ those lesson.

She also knows that her physical training is an important part of that, meaning she doesn't resent how exhausting it is. It needs to be horribly exhausting, or it wouldn't be nearly as effective.

Or so she tells herself, when she goes to bed with her limbs burning that night.

Following Monday's survival lesson and Tuesday's weaponry lesson, Wednesday's lesson -- after the usual close combat lesson in the morning -- is just general know-how. Here, she learns about military language, terms and slangs, communication, and other assorted useful tidbits. It's also where she will get most of her 'homework' assignments, like the sewing. She'll have to read a bunch of books and manuals too, the instructor has told her.

Thursday, Friday, and Saturday all repeat the exact schedule of Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday respectively.

Sunday is the odd one out, being the only day in the week where she learns strategy.

Well, after spending the morning as a punching bag like the six other days of the week anyway.

It was an intimidating prospect at first. The word 'strategy' gives one the impression they'd have to be smart for it. Mukuro was worried she would be too stupid for it, but in truth it's not all that complicated. Most of it is just involves common sense or memorizing facts, much like some subjects in school. In fact, she's been reminded of school quite a bit during her time here so far. It's just a bit less... polite, she supposes. The teachers are certainly less polite. It's preferable to regular school though, seeing as she actually cares about the lessons here.

Although the strategy lessons will probably be her most boring ones. It doesn't help that, unlike all the previous lessons, they take place on the inside, in that oppressive steel cage Fenrir calls an outpost. She will still pay attention to it obviously, since she knows the things she learns there are important.

She supposes some of it might be pretty interesting, at least. In her first lesson, the strategy instructor mostly went over what she's going to learn here. Broadly speaking. First, they'll go over general military strategy and tactics. Second, she'll learn everything there is to learn about the strategies Fenrir employs. Third, she'll extensively study the US military and their allies, seeing as those will apparently be her primary enemies as one of Fenrir's mercenaries. Ahriman told her US Americans are actually the majority of Fenrir's mercenaries. She's not sure if that's odd or not.

Today, the instructor mostly goes over various ambush scenarios with her as either the attacker or the one being attacked. Surprising herself, Mukuro becomes rather absorbed in the lesson. She didn't think she'd find it as interesting as she does. She has always been kind of fascinated by a lot of things involving the military... mostly the guns, the knives, the explosives. She could never say why, exactly. She just naturally felt drawn to all of that stuff. Strategy, though? That's new.

In fact, she's actually finding a lot of things here pretty interesting and finds herself wanting to learn more, whether it be military terms, survival, or just general knowledge. Is it because this is her Ultimate Talent? Junko had flat out told her that she must have one of those Ultimate Talents after outclassing every other contender in a survival game enough times. She accepted that rather easily, considering Junko was the one who'd said it, but she hasn't ever really thought about it.

It's not important either way. Ultimate Talent or not, she'll get stronger. Strong enough to be useful to Junko, to make her proud. What is she thinking, anyway? She doesn't want to become some kind of super soldier for its own sake. She's doing this for Junko. No one else matters, least of all herself. If she gains any satisfaction from her lessons, that's just a bonus.

As Mukuro is laying in her small bed in her small room at Sunday night, thinking of the next letter -- Junko isn't going to read it anytime soon, but that doesn't matter -- she's going to write, she finds herself looking forward to tomorrow. To the survival lesson moreso, although... she doesn't hate the thought of her daily close combat lesson either, even if it will probably just involve her getting beat up again. Because she knows she'll improve. She knows she'll make that instructor eat his words at some point.

Junko had said it herself, hadn't she? All of this is Mukuro's talent. She was born to become a mercenary. Although... no, that's not really true. She's no mercenary, no matter what Fenrir will call her once she's done with her training. She never will be one of them. She wouldn't fight for something so insignificant like money.

She's no soldier either. She wouldn't fight for something so insignificant like a nation.

She's... a knight. A knight who fights for her queen. She's Junko's knight. That's who she was always meant to be.

Mukuro blushes. What a silly thing, calling herself a 'knight'. Junko would laugh at her, no doubt.

But... it makes her feel a bit better. After everything she endures here, she'll be able to go back to Junko as one of the strongest people in the world and know that no harm will ever come to her as long as she's around to protect her. As her knight.

Junko can make fun of her all she likes. She'll be proud to be her knight.

Mukuro feels herself getting filled with energy, with motivation. She won't fail. She won't let Junko down. She'll definitely return to her and protect her. Forever and ever.

She closes her eyes, ignoring the pained pulsating she feels across her limbs.

Her second week as a Fenrir trainee is over. Only fifty more to go.

 

-

 

Mukuro holds up her hand, looking at the about three hours old tattoo on the back of her right hand.

She's finally gotten it, exactly one week after her survival instructor suggested it. A white wolf's head within a black star. It looks nice, she supposes. The skin around the tattoo is red, and it hurts a little. That will subside soon though, the doctor has told her. She doesn't care that much. There hasn't been a day where she _wasn't_ in any kind of pain, so she's used to it.

It's strange, knowing how many battle-hardened soldiers would be frightened of her just from seeing that tattoo on her hand. Junko would probably find that hilarious.

Junko would probably call the tattoo tacky, though.

"Hand." The doctor who's just removed her bandages demands, taking it when she holds it out to him. He proceeds to wash the area around her new tattoo with warm water and soap. "I'd tell you about the aftercare, but you have orders to come by every day anyway. Your training will mess with the healing, I can tell you that much. The boss says it's a waste of time to let your tattoo heal calmly though, even if that risks an infection. The three hours of rest you were given will get taken out of your free time, just so you know. Either way, get ready for a lot of discomfort."

"Understood, doctor." Mukuro says. She's just glad the close combat lesson was before they've given her the tattoo.

The doctor lets go of her hand. "Come again after your next lesson. Now buzz off."

"Yes, doctor." Mukuro says, and leaves the medical facility.

It's Monday, meaning there's a survival lesson waiting for her. She wonders if the wolves will be involved in her training already, since she's gotten the tattoo now.

She's proven right when the survival instructor is waiting for her with one of the wolves by her side. "You're about four hours late." The woman tells her.

"I apologize, ma'am." Even if something isn't her fault, she doubts the instructors will care for it. It's not like she has to mean the apology.

The instructor rolls her eyes. "It was a joke." She says dryly. She nods to the wolf sitting next to her. "This is Lupa, one of our oldest wolves here. We were going to use her to breed, but she didn't let any of the males mate with her. If she listens to you, the others will. Go back a few steps and hold out your hand, show her the tattoo. Say: 'Lupa, to me'. Do this too." She makes a gesture along with her words.

Mukuro does as she's told. "Lupa, to me." The wolf trots up to her. It looks at the tattoo with its yellow eyes, then up at her. She gazes back into its eyes. The wolf looks just like the other ones here -- rather small, its fur thin and having a grayish-brown color. The only notable difference is that this one has a rather ugly scar across its snout.

"Tell her to sit. Make your voice sound strong." The instructor says.

"Sit." Mukuro commands. The wolf obeys.

"Okay, well done. Lupa, to me!" The wolf walks back to the instructor's side and sits down next to her.

Mukuro blinks. "Is that it, ma'am?" She asks the instructor, confused. This was rather underwhelming.

The instructor shrugs. "It's the basic test. They won't listen to every Fenrir merc, you know? It's rare, but sometimes they refuse to sit for one of the newbies. We don't know why -- the boss thinks they can smell weakness. Anyway, no. This wasn't all of it. 'Sit' is just one of the most basic commands. Our wolves are trained for much more than that. Most of them have one squad that they're assigned to. They'll listen to all of the members, but the squad leader is usually the one who gives them commands in the field. Not always, though. Sometimes, the wolves bond with a specific squad member and are more likely to listen to them over anyone else."

"Is that a bad thing?" Mukuro asks.

"It can be, but a smart squad leader will adapt. In the right hands, genuine loyalty is a powerful weapon." The instructor says. Mukuro nods. She can see that, yes. How useful can an animal really be, though? "Speaking of," the instructor continues. "I suggested you'll be Lupa's handler from now on. Told the boss you should get some experience with our wolves. He agreed -- better to make you familiar with them sooner than later."

Mukuro frowns. She looks at the wolf, then back to the instructor. "How does that work, ma'am?"

"You don't get to bring her back to your room to cuddle, if that's what you're asking. I know you have a busy schedule, so all it really means is she'll be present during our lessons and that you'll be her boss during that. And she'll be the only wolf you give commands to when we get to the lessons involving that too. Hell, maybe if you don't flunk out you'll get to take her with you."

"Understood, ma'am." Mukuro glances to the wolf, noticing how it hasn't taken its eyes off her at all. The way it looks at her almost seems like it's sizing her up in some way. Maybe it's trying to get a read on her or something? But... no, that's ridiculous. It's just an animal.

"Tell her to come sit next to you. When she does, pet her. They're trained wolves, but they'll still respond well to encouragement." The instructor says.

"Lupa, to me." Mukuro commands, repeating the gesture from before. The wolf obeys, also just like before. It trots up to her, then sits down without her even needing to say it. She pets its head for a second, somewhat awkwardly. The fur feels nice and soft. It's almost a shame to remove her hand from it again.

"Walk a few steps."

Mukuro does. The wolf follows, walking by her side.

"Good. Now she'll stay with you until you dismiss her, tell her to wait somewhere, or give her any other kind of command." The instructor cocks her head, smiling slightly. "You know... the wolves _are_ supposed to listen that easily, but usually they'll at least hesitate a little with a newbie, maybe make them repeat themselves once or twice. Guess that's just another one of your natural talents, eh?"

"I wouldn't know, ma'am."

"Yeah, you wouldn't. You don't seem like you care much for animals. Or anything." The instructor says dryly. "Let's get over some more commands."

Mukuro listens attentively.

* * *

 

The wolf's presence during her survival lessons doesn't really change much. It's just... there, for most part. That's probably what having a pet is like, she supposes.

Most of her other lessons continue without any changes. Close combat still has her getting beat up, general know-how and strategy still remind her of middle school except they're more interesting. Practical 'homework' assignments like sewing turn more and more into reading specific books, though. She doesn't mind reading, but she'd rather do something more practical.

The weaponry lessons start to focus less on target practice and more on weapon maintenance. She can't say she's a big fan of it at first, even if she sees how it's an useful subject that she needs to learn, but soon quite enjoys the process of taking weapons apart and putting them together again. It's almost calming, in a way.

All in all, most lessons are definitely more interesting than she first thought they would be.

* * *

 

Mukuro sees the close combat instructor's attack coming easily, and manages to evade it with a swift step to the side.

When he attacks again without pause, she's ready for it. She dodges his first two punches, then blocks his kick with her arms. The second kick does knock her down afterwards, but she doesn't even mind.

"You learn fast," the instructor says grudgingly. "But that only means I can stop holding back, little rat."

In spite of the beating she's about to receive, Mukuro feels her lips quirking up ever so slightly. He just basically complimented her progress, didn't he? It's only been a bit more than a month.

So what if he's going to beat her up now? It just shows her more of his fighting style. His tells. Every punch she receives is one she'll be able to evade in the future. It's strange, how the act of getting beatings is actually helpful to her, but somehow it is. The most difficult part is reacting in time to his attacks, something she's slowly getting the hang of.

She gets in her stance.

* * *

 

After about two months of training, Mukuro experiences her first real taste of the organization she's joined.

When a platoon of Fenrir members comes back from an operation, she's on the outside in the middle of a survival lesson, trying to ignore the commotion to concentrate on her task at hand.

"Girl!" She hears Ahriman call out. When she looks in his direction, he's already in front of her with a big smile on his face. "Today, you will learn something that normal lessons cannot teach you." He turns to the survival instructor. "I apologize for the interruption, Malkia. Loki's orders. He thinks the girl should watch this." He gestures to a circle of Fenrir members, then walks towards them.

"Go on, follow him." The survival instructor tells her.

Mukuro does so. In turn, her wolf follows her. After the Fenrir members move away to let them inside, Ahriman gestures at her to stop where she is and continues walking. There are several wolves close to the middle of the circle, walking around the man who is kneeling there. Her wolf doesn't join them. It sits down next to her as soon as she stops.

Ahriman stops in front of the man in the middle of the circle, the wolves keeping a respectful distance from him. Judging from the bruises and coloring on the man's face, he's been beaten up badly. "Jefferson!" Ahriman says loudly over the other Fenrir members' chattering. "Do you know why you are being punished?!"

The man answers, though it's such incoherent rambling that Mukuro can't make out what he's saying.

"That is right!" Ahriman says, as if he'd heard perfectly. "You were stupid enough to be caught torturing a little boy! In the middle of the street! Remind me what the operation was about?!"

The response is more incoherent mumbling.

"That is right! We were to help the rebel faction! You know, the people who were fighting so little boys would _not_ be tortured in the streets!" His sarcastic tone makes quite a few of the other members laugh. "Your comrades have told me you initially justified your behavior by saying you had just fought a hard battle and were not in control of yourself! Is that correct?!"

The bruised man mumbles, in what Mukuro assumes to be assent.

"Do you know what that sounds like to me?! Like you are a rabid animal! And you know what happens to rabid animals!" Ahriman claps. The wolves start growling. He turns to one of the nearby Fenrir members, who is holding a video camera. "Is Loki getting this?" He asks.

"Yes, sir." The Fenrir member answers.

"Very good." Ahriman takes a few steps backwards.

The crowd falls silent. The bruised man starts rambling. Mukuro believes he might be pleading for his life. She doubts it's going to help.

"Watch closely now, little girl." One of the Fenrir members next to her mutters. "This is what's gonna happen if you fuck us over."

Ahriman claps again, and shouts: "Kill!"

The circle of Fenrir members echoes his shout, their combined roar ringing inside Mukuro's ears.

Snarling, the wolves lunge at the man.

Mukuro doesn't look away as they start ravaging him, as they tear him apart. He screams, but the screams soon fade. She supposes it's kind of a brutal scene, but seeing as she's stabbed an innocent man to death when she was a child it doesn't faze her much.

When the man stops moving, the circle starts dispersing. Ahriman talks to the Fenrir member with the video camera for a moment, then turns around and walks back to her.

Her indifference to the whole thing must show on her face, considering Ahriman's words. "I see not even this brutality makes you change your expression," he says, jovial as always. "That is good! If this shocked you, you would not be able to last very long as a full member. Have you seen anybody die before?"

"Yes, sir. I have." Mukuro answers.

She doesn't elaborate, and Ahriman doesn't ask her to. He merely nods, smiling. "You are not the first bloodthirsty Japanese girl Fenrir has trained, you know? There was another one before you. She was very skilled, too. Not suited for our line of work, in the end, but not for lack of talent."

"Is she dead?"

"No. In fact, we still contact her sometimes when we want somebody important dead. But I am rambling. How did you like the show?"

Mukuro blinks. "I've never seen anyone get killed by wolves before." She says uncertainly, unsure of what he wants to hear.

Ahriman laughs. "You do not say! I believe that soon, you will see much more of that." He nods to her side.

Mukuro looks down, at the wolf still sitting next to her. Its yellow eyes are locked onto the carnage in front of them. Then, they look back at her. The wolf seems about as indifferent at the prospect as her.

Maybe it's fitting, that she's supposed to be its handler.

* * *

 

As the days go by, Mukuro finds herself getting more and more desensitized to her status as a Fenrir trainee.

The beatings become just another part of her training rather than something she's resentful of. The brutal workouts start to feel less draining and more rewarding. The harassment becomes just another noise that she learns to ignore, and it even decreases as the Fenrir members start to get used to her presence and mostly ignore her.

She's making good progress in all of her lessons. Sometimes very fast, sometimes rather slowly. Never slowly enough to worry her, though.

At some point, late at night while she's laying in her bed, Mukuro realizes something strange.

She actually kind of... likes it here.

She likes her unchanging schedule. With Junko, she could never tell what was going to happen, in which uncomfortable situations she would find herself in because of her sister's unpredictable nature. Here? She knows more or less exactly what's going to happen on each day. Junko would call it boring routine, but Mukuro finds it strangely comforting.

She likes her lessons. She understands how the things she learns will help her in the future, a feeling she's never had during school. What's more, she actually understands her lessons in general. She wasn't outright terrible in middle school, but she _was_ gradually getting worse in most subjects and often had to study more than she wanted to, something that often left her drained. Or worse, she had to ask Junko for help. Junko, who made fun of her for being an idiot and not getting 'the simplest things'. Here? She has no problems understanding her instructors. She's interested in the things she learns, even. She doesn't feel like a moron.

She can remember the middle school's math teacher calling her adoptive mother because she was doing too badly in her class, suggesting some outside tutors for her. Mukuro felt humiliated by that, beyond belief. Especially because she'd genuinely tried to understand the lessons -- she just _couldn't_. It was like that with most subjects, only less extreme than in math. It was hard to pay attention in the first place sometimes... but here? She understands the lessons, even the things that involve math. Applying math to something she's actually interested in just makes it so much easier to understand.

She likes her more mundane lessons too, like sewing. She doesn't particularly enjoy the act of sewing, but she likes the fact that she can do it if she has to. It was frustrating at first, no doubt about that. However, the straightforward instructions and some perseverance eventually made her master it. Plus, the knowledge of its usefulness. If not for that, it might have taken her a lot longer.

At some point in the past, she tried to learn cooking because Junko had complained about their adoptive mother's food boring her. Like a lot of other attempts at making Junko happy though, it failed miserably. After too many botched attempts, Mukuro felt too frustrated and ashamed of her stupidity to continue, for making so many unnecessary mistakes. Something tells her she might have given up on sewing too after one too many pricks, if it hadn't been mandatory to learn. But... she pushed through and is good at it now. It's nice to be proud of herself, for once.

Mukuro grimaces. She's being ridiculous, isn't she? Junko would laugh at her for being proud of something so mundane.

But... she supposes that's the main reason why she finds herself liking it here. Junko isn't here to make her feel bad about herself. Junko isn't here to laugh at her, to jeer or mock her for every single thing she does.

Even the close combat instructor, for all the physical and verbal abuse he heaps on her, doesn't consider her worthless, and the other instructors just treat her like a normal student for most part. They get annoyed sometimes, yes, but none of them ever make her feel like Junko has.

None of them ever make her feel like crying.

Even though she's surrounded by the worst kind of scum in the world, at least here she doesn't feel stupid and useless. It's a nice feeling.

And...

There's something else she realizes.

Mukuro opens her eyes, staring up at the barely visibly ceiling in her dark room.

At what point... has she stopped missing Junko?

* * *

 

Over the next few days, a deep sense of shame slowly envelops Mukuro.

It's true that Junko made her feel awful a lot. It's true that Junko insulted her, mocked her, hit her, and even made an attempt on her life... but...

Wasn't Junko doing all of that because she couldn't be useful enough to her? Because she was always so stupid? Mukuro never got an elaboration no matter how many times she pleaded for it. Junko always just told her she didn't deserve any explanations.

Wasn't that because Junko justifiably expected her to know what was wrong? Wasn't it all her fault for not understanding Junko?

That whole 'despair' thing... that's how Junko was justifying herself after trying to kill her. Mukuro still can't wrap her head around it. At that time, she was beyond angry that Junko was using that as an excuse, but now she's just confused.

Because of Junko's philosophy, she wanted to share the whole despair thing with her... and tried that by making her feel awful -- in despair. Mukuro understands that much, but...

Junko wasn't awful to her all of the time. Near the end, it was close to all of the time, but that really was only shortly before the murder attempt. Junko had usually flip-flopped around between treating her normally and treating her like complete garbage before that, the unpredictability of her behavior having made it all the more terrible.

So wasn't Junko's behavior kind of contradictory? If she wanted to share her despair, why was her behavior so inconsistent? She wasn't always like this either. It started not long after they'd been adopted. Just... why did it all turn out like this?

Mukuro sighs. She doesn't understand anything, at all. Junko and her _stupid_ despair. Why couldn't Junko just be... be...

Normal?

Mukuro's eyes widen, shame burning like bile in her stomach. Where did that come from? How could she think like that? If Junko knew she was ever thinking such a thing, she would be... she would be so _hurt_.

... Junko was completely right all along, wasn't she? All this time, Mukuro never truly understood her at all.

All this time, Mukuro was just...

_"Stupid, useless Mukuro."_

* * *

 

Around noon on the next day, Mukuro is silently scowling to herself, having difficulty concentrating on her current task.

She lays the weapon parts on the blanket in front of her, sits back, and looks up at the cloudy sky, trying her best to stop thinking about Junko. She closes her eyes, breathing evenly. At least the weaponry instructor isn't here right now, or she'd have to come up with a plausible excuse for this short break.

She opens her eyes when she feels something poking her right hand. Yellow eyes meet hers when she looks at the source of the touch. It's the wolf, giving her a look that seems to tell her to get a grip.

Obviously, there's no way the wolf is actually thinking that. It's just an animal. It probably just saw her acting strange and got curious. Still, for some reason, Mukuro feels compelled to speak. "I know I'm acting ridiculous," she mutters to the wolf. "But I don't know how to stop. I think I made a mistake. I... overreacted."

The wolf merely stares back at her, of course.

"I just... why couldn't she just tell me what the problem was?" Mukuro asks quietly. She sighs. "Well, it's not important. My sister probably hates me right now. I don't know why I'm talking to you."

The wolf pokes her right hand again with its scarred snout. How strange for it to do that, considering it hasn't ever done anything of the sort before. Maybe it can feel she's upset, somehow?

"Do you just want to be pet?" Mukuro strokes its head. Even if just by a little, petting the wolf makes her feel slightly better. She looks around, to see if anyone is looking at them, but no one is. There's barely anyone around in the first place.

The wolf closes its eyes as it's being pet, obviously enjoying it.

"You know what? Feeling sad won't do anything." Mukuro says, running the hand that's not petting the wolf's head over its soft back fur. "I'm just going to finish my training and return to my sister as soon as I can. And once I'm back, we will... just figure something out."

The wolf licks her hand once, almost as if answering her. Though what that answer could mean, she has no idea.

"... Thank you, Lupa." Mukuro says to the wolf, feeling ridiculous as soon as the words leave her mouth. But she's being sincere. Somehow, this wolf managed to make her feel better in just a minute.

Lupa lays down on the ground next to her again -- her usual position when Mukuro has work to do.

Mukuro returns her attention to the weapon parts. After frowning at them for a moment, she gets back to assembling.

* * *

 

From that point on, Mukuro pays more attention to the wolf. To Lupa.

She's obedient. Intelligent. Ferocious, too. Mukuro finds that out when she commands her to take out training dummies during one of the survival lessons. Suffice to say, if that was a real person, they wouldn't be alive anymore after Lupa's teeth got through with them.

But, embarrassingly enough, the thing Mukuro likes most about her is that she makes her feel less lonely. She finds herself talking to Lupa when she feels bad about Junko or just simply misses her sister. Petting her has an almost therapeutic quality to it, too.

Lupa is an animal and will therefore not call her stupid, or ridiculous, or make fun of her for whining. While the other Fenrir members either harass or ignore her, while Ahriman and the instructors -- false cordiality aside -- simply treat her like a job they have to do... she can delude herself into thinking that Lupa actually likes her.

It's... almost like she has a friend. For the first time in her life.

Junko would laugh at her if she heard that.

* * *

 

The more time passes, the more skilled she gets at everything.

Soon, even the things she struggled with at the start come fairly easy to her. The close combat instructor gets more and more irritated too, clearly angry with how much progress she is making. Strange, considering it means he's doing a good job, but perhaps he is envious of her natural talent. After all, it must have taken him years of practice and experience to become this skilled, but she's getting the hang of it so quickly... it must be frustrating.

She can't say she feels bad for him.

* * *

 

After about six months of training, her instructors' lessons get rather repetitive. She understands they want to make sure she knows what they've already taught her, but they don't stop even when she makes it perfectly clear she already knows everything.

Eventually, her survival and weaponry instructors more or less say she's probably ready to become a full member already.

They discuss it with the other instructors and Ahriman. Afterwards, Ahriman contacts Loki and Athena to discuss it with them as well. They agree to test her six months early, giving her a week to prepare for her 'exams'.

* * *

 

She breezes through the weaponry exam, passes the survival and general know-how exams without much difficulty, and, despite some trouble in the middle, manages to get through her strategy exam too.

Her physical fitness exam is more taxing, but not actually _harder_. She's even told she came close to being in the obstacle course's Top Ten times.

The only thing that remains is her close combat exam.

She closes her eyes, breathing slowly. She can do this. She's been training hard for months now. She's even managed to hit her instructor sometimes. If she fought at her best, she could definitely beat him.

* * *

 

Mukuro spends the early stage of the fight solely dodging, not wanting to be careless.

The instructor taunts her, throws racist and sexist slurs at her left and right, but neither fazes her. Those are just cheap tricks to make her lose her composure, to goad her into making a mistake. She won't make a mistake.

He throws a punch that would have knocked her to the ground a few months earlier. Now though, she avoids it with ease, even managing to get a hit in herself while she dodges. Not a hard hit, but enough to visibly anger him.

"Little rat." He sneers, and attacks again. His punches are all powerful -- some of them would probably give her a serious injury if they connected. Yet, they don't connect.

Mukuro avoids them all, taking advantage of her small frame and agility. Despite his big size, he isn't actually slower than her though. She's just gotten too good at reading his attacks, at knowing his tells.

He keeps the pressure on her, more or less pursuing her through the entire ring. She keeps her distance, never letting him too close and always avoiding getting backed into a corner, trying to get in as many counter attacks as she can.

When one of those counter attacks hits him in the face, he looks absolutely furious.

"You little rat!" He growls, lunging at her.

She dances out of the way, kicking him in the side while she's at it. He turns, throwing a kick of his own at the same time. Mukuro ducks under it. She sweeps his legs, dropping him to the ground. When he tries to get up, she kicks him in the face once. He catches her second kick, and throws her backwards.

She lands painfully on her back, but immediately jumps up again, just in time to see a fist flying towards her face. She avoids it, although barely, and they both get in their stances once more like at the beginning of their fight.

The only difference is that they've traded places.

"You have a sister. Don't you?" The instructor suddenly says.

Mukuro doesn't answer, but she already feels anger surging through her. It's obviously what he wants though, so she tries to suppress it.

"I wonder," he continues. "Can she take a beating as well as you? Maybe once I'm done with you, I will go to her to find out."

Mukuro grits her teeth. Her anger must be visible, judging from the smirk slowly spreading on the instructor's face. Damnit, she mustn't lose her composure that easily!

"Your sister is pretty, isn't she? Maybe I will-"

Mukuro throws a punch at him, interrupting his disgusting tirade. He blocks it, then knees her in the stomach. Grimacing, Mukuro moves to punch again, but he catches her arm before that and bends it behind her back.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. She can't believe he's managed to goad her like this. Now she's paying the price, as her arm starts to scream in agony.

"Too emotional, little rat." The instructor mocks her to her face. He headbutts her.

She scrambles backwards, seeing only white for a moment, before a kick to her shoulder knocks her on her stomach. He tries to stomp on her head afterwards, but she rolls to the side and gets up again, kicking him in the shin in the process.

The instructor emits a pained grunt. He doesn't stop his attacks, throwing punch after punch at her, with some kicks mixed inbetween. She avoids them all, but doesn't dare attack back for now, her mistake still fresh on her mind.

He stops his relentless assault soon, trying his earlier tactic instead. "I've seen the fashion magazines with your sister in them, you know?" He says, smirking like before. "I don't see the resemblance. Unlike her, I have no desire to fuck you."

Mukuro stays calm, refusing to be goaded, no matter how much she wants to hurt him for making such a disgusting suggestion. She just tries to focus on the other part. After all, this man not wanting to... do anything with her is probably the least insulting thing he's ever told her.

"Do you think your sister is a screamer? Maybe I will find out."

Mukuro doesn't react to his words.

He makes a sour face, presumably angry because it's not working. "Fuck you!" He shouts, and attacks again.

She evades his first few punches, then blocks one of them and uses the momentum to deliver a harsh strike against his chest. He stumbles backwards, his eyes wide in shock.

"You." He rasps. "How do you...?" His face a mask of pure rage, he lunges at her.

Mukuro side steps the clumsy attempt. When he turns to the side, there is a big opening she can take advantage of. She does. She punches her instructor in the throat as hard as she can.

He chokes, falling on his knees.

And at this moment, Mukuro understands that she's won. That she's just become a full member of Fenrir.

That would be enough for her, normally. Even despite all the beatings, the insults, the racism and sexism, the constant belittling... she wouldn't feel the need to continue this fight, wouldn't have the desire to kill this man.

But this man threatened Junko. Threatened to... to...

Mukuro's emotions spill over.

With a snarl, she throws herself at the close combat instructor. Her first hit knocks him on his back, after which she's on top of him, punching him in the face over and over and over and over and over and over...

Not much time passes until the Fenrir members watching this from the outside interfere and she's wrestled off of him and kept in a firm grip. She hears shouting, but barely registers anything that's going on. All she can see is the way she's beaten her instructor's face into a bloody pulp, until no human face was recognizable anymore.

"She fucking killed him!" She hears someone yell, and others talking as well.

"Holy shit."

"He fucked around with her too long."

"Dumb motherfucker deserved it."

"The guys at HQ are gonna laugh their asses off."

"Quiet, everybody!" Ahriman's voice commands. With a slightly quieter voice, he gives another order. "GIrl, look at me."

Mukuro blinks. She looks up, into Ahriman's face. He isn't smiling like usually, but he doesn't look upset either. After a brief pause, she asks: "Did I pass, sir?"

There is silence, for a few seconds. Until Ahriman starts to laugh, followed by the other Fenrir members. "I have to discuss it with Loki and Athena first," he tells her after the laughter has died down. "But yes, I do believe beating your teacher to death should mean you pass. If only regular school worked like that."

"Understood, sir."

Ahriman smiles slyly. "You enjoyed that, girl. Did you not?"

"... I don't know." Mukuro says. It happened too quickly for her to tell, but she doesn't see why she would enjoy this. Killing Daisuke wasn't enjoyable either. Does it really matter that this man deserved it more?

"Ah, well, perhaps it was just my imagination. Or it still is! What do you think, everybody?"

"I dunno, sir," one of the Fenrir members says. "I think she's a fucking psycho."

"Born to kill!" One of them shouts. Some of the others yell approvingly, repeating the sentiment.

"Yeah, just fucking look at her!" One of them says.

"She does look very happy, does she not?" Ahriman chuckles.

"What do you mean, sir?" Mukuro questions, confused.

"Have you not noticed, girl? You are grinning from ear to ear."

* * *

 

 


	3. Drone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's art: https://inacron.tumblr.com/post/176138019326 (finally, Mukuro gets to pet a wolf)
> 
> You know, I wanted Mukuro's first mission to be in the chapter, but then it didn't really turn out that way. (when does it ever?) That's the next chapter, I guess! I hope you all still like it!

* * *

 

Even though no one seemed to have particularly minded when she killed her close combat instructor, Mukuro is still more or less in solitary confinement for a few days.

They let her work out inside under supervision, but that's the extent of her freedom. Ahriman said he would talk to the other two leaders as soon as possible, to discuss the consequences of her actions, though he claimed she probably won't get punished or anything of the sort.

Eventually, Ahriman tells her she will be brought to Fenrir's headquarters to speak to Loki directly. He doesn't elaborate on much, just adds: "Loki is a paranoid man. If he thinks you are lying to him about something, he will be more likely to doubt your loyalty. Try to be as honest with him as you can."

Mukuro nods. About time. It's been almost a week. "Understood, sir. When do I leave?"

"Now. Report to the medical facility. Loki requested for you to be anesthetized, so do not be surprised when the doctor pulls out a syringe. You will wake up in our headquarters, safe and sound. Anything else?"

"Yes, sir. What about my request, concerning Lupa?" Mukuro asks.

"Loki has agreed. Since you have bonded with the wolf and proven that you two work well together in your exam, it would be a waste to keep her here. She will be sent along with you." Ahriman replies.

"Thank you, sir." Mukuro says, a bit relieved. She was thinking they might not agree to her request to punish her. She's glad to see they have more sense than that. After all, Lupa will only make her more effective. She's been missing her wolf, these last few days.

"It is simply more pragmatic to send her with you. Think nothing of it." Ahriman dismisses, echoing her thoughts. Stroking his beard, he studies her face for a moment before asking: "Do you not wish to know why you will be anesthetized?"

A part of Mukuro does want to ask why she'll have to be put to sleep, but it's probably because they don't trust her and want to be sure she doesn't try anything. Considering she's killed one of their men, it's understandable. "No, sir." She answers. It's not like it matters to her anyway. If they wanted to kill her, they wouldn't bother with such a pointless deception.

"Ah, that is what I love about you! You just do not care. Refreshing, really." Ahriman sighs. "You have made things interesting here in this boring outpost, girl. I am sad to see you go. But, go you must." He waves his hand into the direction of the door. "Report to the good doctor."

Mukuro nods. She turns around and leaves. She's gotten used to this outpost, but she can't say she will miss it or the mercenaries here. She just hopes she won't have to stay at Fenrir's headquarters for long. She wants to go on her first operation already, gain some experience.

The doctor first gives her a general check-up, after which anesthesia is administered to her. The thought of being made completely helpless is uncomfortable, but Mukuro reminds herself that it wouldn't be in their interest to let anything happen to her, that she's useful to them, that they would have killed her already if they wanted to.

Although she's still not comfortable with it, Mukuro doesn't make any fuss when the needle sinks into her. There is nothing she can do anyway. It doesn't take her long to fall unconscious.

When she wakes up, she's laying in a bed. She feels dizzy and tired, in an oddly pleasant way. When she opens her eyes, there is a different doctor in front of her, and she notices she's in a small, very white room. The new doctor tells her to relax, tells her that she's supposed to rest until the boss calls for her.

Right... she's in Fenrir's headquarters now. Probably. She opens her mouth to ask something, but forgets her question immediately. Instead of asking whatever she wanted to ask, she mutters that she understands.

She quickly falls asleep after that.

When she wakes up again, she is more lucid. She notices that she is wearing handcuffs. They're still wary of her, she supposes. The doctor proceeds to ask her some questions, mostly about how she's feeling, and sends her on her way with two Fenrir members as escorts after she's done answering as best as she can.

With one man leading her and the other one following behind, they escort Mukuro throughout what must be Fenrir's headquarters. Unlike the outpost she's been living in for the last six months, this place has a very modern look to it. The floor, walls, and ceiling aren't made of crude metal, but rather what appears to be concrete. More than that, it actually looks like a place that people live in instead of just one big oppressive cage.

They stop in front of a large steel door, and proceed to give her a body search. A part of her wants to point out she's just been unconscious for presumably hours and couldn't have possibly armed herself with anything, but that probably wouldn't influence it.

After they're done, one of them swipes the pad next to the door with a keycard. The steel door opens, and the Fenrir member in front of her gestures at her to enter. When she does, the door closes behind her.

The first thing Mukuro notices when she's inside is that the room is very large. It looks unlike the white and gray hallways she's just been walking through. The walls have a strange blue and green -- the color is called turquoise, she believes -- tint to them. There are a lot of decorations, too. Models of weapons, military vehicles, wolves...

What really stands out though, are all the screens in the room. They're lined up all across the left and right sides of the room, most of them showing either numbers and statistics or footage of soldiers and newscasters. Some are on tables, others are mounted to the walls like flat screen TVs. They all appear to be hooked to computers as well. None of them emit any sound. It's very quiet in the room.

Mukuro stops staring at the meaningless decorations and looks straight ahead.

At the end of the room, there is a man sitting behind a big screen. He's typing something on the keyboard in front of him. "Sit down." He orders, without bothering to interrupt his typing.

Right. A lone chair has been placed in the middle of the room. This must be her interrogation.

Mukuro walks up to the chair and sits down, placing her cuffed hands in her lap. While she waits, she notices that there is something that looks like a spear mounted on the wall behind the man. Strange.

It takes about a minute for the man to finish whatever he is doing. He stands up and walks around the table, revealing himself to her. For someone who supposedly leads one of the most elite mercenary groups on the planet, Loki looks very unremarkable. Blond hair, tall height, average face... she's seen some European men while she was with Junko on the latter's modelling gigs, and he basically looks like any of them. The only difference is that he's obviously in good shape, which is a given considering his profession. He also looks fairly young, she supposes. A lot younger than Ahriman.

"Mitsuko Tanaka," he says blandly, leaning back against the table. "Born in Kamakura General Hospital without any major complications on the 24th of December, in the year 2000. Blood type: A Positive. Birth weight: two kilograms. Born one hour before her twin sister, Ryouko Tanaka. Blood type: AB Negative. Birth weight: three kilograms. Both sisters went to Kamakura Shiritsu Daini Elementary School from April 2007 until February 2010, where they suddenly went missing shortly before finishing their third year at age nine. The assumed reason is the death of their biological parents, Yuuto Tanaka and Yui Tanaka, both deceased due to a car accident. The authorities did not manage to find the sisters until September 2010, eight months after they had gone missing. The elder sister, pulling the younger one along with her, allegedly just walked into the Fujisawa Police Station and calmly explained their situation to the officers. Hm." His voice loses its droning quality. "Did you really do that?" He asks her.

"Yes, sir." Mukuro answers. Junko told her afterwards that they must have been creeped out by her talking about the death of their parents like it hadn't mattered to her. She'd tried to appear remorseful and sad during her whole speech to them, so that was discouraging to hear.

"Interesting," he mutters, not appearing interested in the slightest. Louder, he continues speaking about Mukuro's past in a low drone, like he's listing ingredients for a recipe. "Afterwards, the sisters were made to live in the Kamakura Gakuen Children's Home. They quickly garnered the attention of the staff, due to terrorizing some of the other children. Nonetheless, they managed to pass their third elementary school year during that time. They remained there from September 2010 until May 2011. They were adopted by Noritaka Otonashi and Shinon Otonashi, seemingly out of nowhere, and moved to their new parents' home almost immediately." He hums softly. "How curious. Adopting two orphaned children shouldn't be that fast and simple, especially not in Japan. I suppose the fact that the mother is part of Hope's Peak Academy's Steering Committee and the father works in Japan's Ministry of Education might have influenced things a little. Or maybe it was the big donation the orphanage received at that time."

"I wouldn't know, sir." Mukuro says. She's telling the truth. She'd asked Junko about the whole thing one or two times, but never got a real answer out of her. She didn't care a whole lot anyway, so she didn't continue asking after that. She supposes she's a bit surprised that her adoptive parents resorted to bribing people, though. Junko must have made them feel really sorry for her.

"You don't? Interesting. Moving on: the two sisters, now ten years old, didn't waste much time to make a name for themselves. The elder sister started attending survival games, winning every single one of them despite her age, even the advanced tournaments. The younger sister did much the same, except with beauty pageants and fashion contests. Hm. You and your twin sister appear to be very different people."

"... I suppose we are, sir." Mukuro says, mostly because he seems to wait for a reply. She remembers how reluctant their adoptive mother was about letting Junko enter those beauty pageants. Yet Junko managed to convince her in the end, like she always did.

On the other hand, their mother wasn't really against the survival games. Her reluctance with that was mostly just due to the fact that she didn't really get the whole thing. She tried to be supportive of Mukuro's hobby though, even got Junko to show up to cheer her on in some of the tournaments... which was pretty embarrassing. She supposes other children would consider themselves lucky to have a mother who tries that hard, even despite her health problems, but...

Mukuro's thoughts are interrupted when Loki resumes speaking in a droning voice. "When the sisters graduated elementary school in March 2013 -- skipping an entire year, curiously enough -- the younger sister was already a minor celebrity, under a fake name. The elder sister was too, though mostly just among a specific niche group of people. They resumed their respective hobbies -- or talents -- until the younger sister secured a photo shoot in London. The two sisters, along with their mother, decided to turn it into a vacation, arriving a few days before the photo shoot to spend time together in London. However, on the 6th of February in 2015, one day before the younger sister's photo shoot, the elder sister disappeared. Today, on the 14th of August in the same year, six months and eight days after her disappearance, Mitsuko Otonashi has not been reported as missing as of yet. Officially, she is in a private military academy overseas. Interesting. Even if you managed to sell that story to your parents, how are they not concerned with the lack of communication?"

"My sister is good at explaining things and making stories up, sir." Mukuro tells him, ignoring that the 'lack of communication' is his fault. "If they aren't suspecting anything, it's because of her." Truthfully, she has no idea how Junko has managed to fool them for so long. She suspected their mother would report her as missing after about a week of no contact or so.

"Hm. Ahriman told me you implied your sister knows about us. Or more like the concept of us, I suppose." Loki seems to consider something for a moment. "She's not a security risk, I hope?"

"No, sir." Mukuro quickly says, a sickening feeling spreading inside of her stomach. "She knows I've joined a mercenary group, but nothing more than that."

"Hm. The man who relayed your message to her all those months back said something similiar." Loki says, and the sick feeling inside of Mukuro slowly dissipates. "Anyway, do you know why I just told you your own abridged life story?"

"No, sir." Mukuro says, though she assumes it's supposed to be some kind of intimidation tactic.

"I prefer knowing who I'm dealing with. And I know a lot about you." Loki regards her with mild interest. "You have a knack for disappearing just when you're about to finish a school year. For someone whose education stopped in middle school though, Glasgow told me you're highly proficient in mathematics. I believe he even referred to you as a genius."

"I'm not a genius, sir." Mukuro clarifies, almost a little embarrassed. The weaponry instructor told her that himself too, but she knows it's not the truth. "I'm not really good at mathematics. It's just that when I apply it to combat scenarios, everything makes sense. I don't know how it works."

"Is that so? Good thing you won't need it for anything else. You won't be in charge of any logistics, so it hardly matters." Loki dismisses. "Mathematics aside, your other instructors all tell me very positive things too. You learn quickly, you master what doesn't come easy to you with stubborn determination, you work hard. All of them tell me you would hugely benefit Fenrir if you were to join us. Do you believe that assessment to be correct?"

"Yes, sir." Mukuro answers.

"Do you know the meaning of the spear mounted to the wall behind me?" Loki asks, inclining his head towards the spear that Mukuro was wondering about earlier. "In Norse Mythology, the spear Gungnir is the most powerful weapon of the war-god Odin. For all his power though, Odin failed to slay the mighty wolf Fenrir with his spear and was devoured by the beast instead."

Mukuro frowns. She remembers that story, yes. Is he trying to boast? Is he telling her that possessing the spear symbolizes Fenrir's strength? Either way, she should probably say something. "Understood, sir."

"Do you?" Loki pushes himself away from the table he's been leaning on, standing up straight now, his eyes focused on her. "You have what it takes to be an excellent mercenary, but I demand loyalty. I'm not foolish enough to think anyone here is loyal towards me as a person. However, I'm the one who pays the greedy mercs, and I pay well. I'm the one who supplies the bloodthirsty mercs with top-of-the-line gear and enough opportunities to use it. The highly demanding missions I procure are the reason why the thrillseeking mercs never get bored. When you give your people everything they could possibly want, when you treat them well, they have no reason to leave or betray you. Being the best in your line of work, which Fenrir certainly is, reduces that even further. There are always some people who will leave or betray you of course, but I like to minimize the chances of that happening." His eyes narrow. "What is it you want? Money? I doubt it. Thrillseeking? A thirst for blood? Maybe. Ahriman told me you were grinning after you killed Kulak. Why?"

"I didn't realize I was." Mukuro says. She hesitates, unsure of what to say. "... I'm not sure why I was grinning, sir. Winning against him felt satisfying, but I can't say I felt particularly good after killing him."

Loki gives her a long, calculating look. Then, he asks: "Was he the first person you killed?"

Mukuro hesitates, though this time it's for show. "No, sir. I killed someone back when I was homeless." She says.

For a moment, Loki regards her with open shock. It's gone in a flash. "Is that so? Why did you kill them?"

Again, Mukuro hesitates for a moment, trying to make herself look unsure. When she's done with the act, she steels herself and recounts the events mechanically. "On that day, my little sister was attacked by a homeless man. He tried to force himself on her before I interfered. I stabbed him a few times. We ran away. Later, she went back to the place and killed him. She felt bad for doing it afterwards and thought I was going to abandon her, so I killed some other person to make her feel better." Mukuro suppresses a grimace after she's done. It's not an act. Telling it so bluntly to someone feels... strange. Wrong, too. Like she's betraying her sister's trust. Silently, she apologizes to Junko, hoping she would understand.

"I see Ahriman was not entirely exaggerating when he called you a 'little psychopath'. Perhaps you and your sister are more similiar than I thought, too." Loki muses. "Were you grinning after killing that person? Did it feel satisfying?"

"No to both questions, sir." If she had been grinning, Junko would have told her.

"Hm. Perhaps you're more the thrillseeking kind rather than the bloodthirsty kind, then. You enjoy a good fight, not the act of killing itself." Loki leans back against the table again, his expression becoming more disinterested. "It matters little to me. You killed that person back then because you wanted to make your sister feel better, correct? Did you kill Kulak to ensure her safety? I know he was threatening her, made suggestive remarks."

"... I did, sir." Mukuro says. "My little sister is important to me. When I saw the chance to kill the instructor after what he had said, I lost control of myself."

"Kulak's remarks were intended to make you lose control, but I doubt dying was part of the plan." Loki thinks for a moment, before adding: "I won't punish you. Seeing you outclass him bruised his ego, which is why he tried to goad you into making a mistake by provoking you. It seems you were too much of a match for him even after he succeeded, though. Hm. If he underestimated you like that after training you himself for half a year, he deserved to die."

"Thank you for your leniency, sir." The words have a sour taste to them, but showing some gratitude can't hurt. After all, he might decide to have her killed still.

Loki looks at her in a way that makes it obvious he's clearly not buying her words. "You might want to hold off on thanking me. Just because I won't punish you for that doesn't mean you'll get to join Fenrir. I repeat the question I asked before: What is it you want? Why abandon your family? Why risk your life?"

That's the question Mukuro's been expecting for half a year now. Luckily, she's already prepared herself for answering it with the fake hesitation from before. "My little sister," she says. "I want to be able to protect her."

"Really?" Loki asks dubiously. "There are easier, less risky and time-consuming ways to achieve that. What exactly do you expect to protect her from?"

"It's like you said, sir. My sister and I are similiar. We've both killed people. If I'm a psychopath, so is she. She enjoyed killing the man who assaulted her." Mukuro mentally apologizes to Junko for calling her such a crude word, for telling someone about this... but it's necessary. It's not like Loki could do anything with the information even if he wanted to. "The reason why I want to join Fenrir is because I'm planning to become the best at killing people there is. If she tells me to kill someone, I don't want to tell her I'm unable to. I want to be the best."

"So, what? Are you telling me you and your sister want to become mass murderers? That's why you're here?" In spite of the skeptical nature of his questions, Loki's voice is utterly flat.

"I want whatever makes my sister happy." Mukuro clarifies. While a part of her feels uncomfortable with telling so many things no one is meant to know to this man, she knows it's important that he understands her motivations. "My sister enjoys hurting other people. She's very ambitious. She wants to hurt a lot of people. I need to protect her from anyone who wants to stop her."

"Would you say your loyalty lies solely with your sister, then?" Loki asks.

"Yes. I have no reason or intention to betray you, sir. All I want is to become more experienced and return to my sister once I've paid you back."

"And I suppose the money doesn't hurt either."

Mukuro nods. "My sister will be pleased when I tell her I can fund her projects, sir."

Loki makes a soft noise resembling a humorless laugh. "You will be separated from her for more than five years. Does that not bother you?"

"It does bother me," Mukuro admits. "But there is nothing I can do. Sir."

If Loki noticed the short delay before she said 'sir', he doesn't show it. "Hm. Perhaps some time apart will do you some good." He cocks his head. "After you'd arrived at Ahriman's outpost and the doctor examined you, he told me some interesting things. I was wondering whether it was your mother or your sister who was responsible for the fresh bruises on your body, but after listening to you it's obvious who physically abused you."

Mukuro stiffens. Could she claim it was her mother? No, he wouldn't believe that. "I deserved those bruises," she hastily says. "It doesn't change anything about what I said. My little sister is the only thing that matters to me. I don't hate her for it."

"You misunderstand. I wasn't expressing doubt. In fact, now I'm more inclined to believe that your sister is both who you say she is and also your primary motivation."

"What do you mean by that, sir?" Mukuro asks, frowning. Why would Junko hitting her sometimes make anything she said more believable?

"You _wouldn't_ understand, would you? People in your position rarely do." Loki looks at her with open condescension for a moment, though then his expression becomes more passive again. "It matters little to me. Your sister aside, the instructors told me you seemed to enjoy most of the lessons. Then there are all those survival games you'd taken part in before you came here. Can I assume simple interest in this profession is your secondary reason for being here?"

"Yes, sir. I have always been interested in the military. Guns and knives especially." Mukuro answers.

"Your file mentions that, yes. Is this how it's going to go, then? You become a member of Fenrir and remain here until you're an adult. Once you are, you return to your sister to help her with her plans for mass and/or serial killings. I get an efficient killer who's going to make me a lot of money for five years, you get valuable experience and money that you're going to use to support your sister. We both have plenty to gain. Does that sound about right?"

"Yes, sir."

"It does sound good." Loki concedes. "But while there is plenty to gain, there is plenty to lose. You could lose your life, for one. Does that not bother you?"

"I'm aware of the risk, sir." Mukuro says blandly. "If I die, I die."

"What about your sister? I thought you want to protect her."

"If I die, it simply means I'm not capable of protecting my sister."

"Ridiculous. You could get killed just due to bad luck. A stray shot, sudden artillery fire, shrapnel... it would have nothing to do with your abilities."

"I'm aware, sir. It doesn't change my answer."

Loki nods in understanding, surprising Mukuro. She didn't expect him to accept that answer. "I see. Either way, I'm risking something too. How can I be sure you won't betray Fenrir?"

"I have no reason to betray Fenrir, sir." Mukuro repeats her words from before. "If I did, I wouldn't risk it. I would put my sister in danger by doing that."

"Hm. I see you've already thought of that. Yes, suffice to say, we will torture your little sister to death if you ever betray us. The same goes for your parents." Loki watches her carefully as he says that, trying to look for a reaction. She gives him one by slightly clenching her jaw. "You know," he says conversationally. "Athena wanted to get rid of you when she heard that you killed Kulak. She thinks you're too much of a risk. Her and I are convinced you're one of those gifted children. That you have an Ultimate Talent, or whatever that's called. What do you think?"

"I've been suspecting that as well, sir." Mukuro replies.

"Ever since I heard about Ultimate Talents, I've been keeping an eye out for someone like that, for children who excel in anything that resembles warfare. We recruited you because of those survival games, you see? It may sound ridiculous, but considering the world we live in... all those gifted people... how big of an advantage would it be, to have a person like that on Fenrir's side?" Loki's eyes almost seem to gleam. For the first time, his face shows an emotion that isn't either slight interest or apathy. "The more I found out about you, the more I was interested. When Ahriman told me about your first week in his outpost, I was intrigued." Like before, he pushes himself away from the table and stands up straight, looking directly into her eyes. "Do I trust you? Not particularly. Do I believe the reward outweights the risk? Yes."

There is a brief bit of silence. "Does that mean I'm a member of Fenrir now, sir?" Mukuro asks.

"I know what you were trying to do earlier," Loki says, ignoring her question. "When you told me all those things about your little sister. You were trying to make it obvious that letting you join wouldn't be an issue, because there is no way you would betray Fenrir while knowing I could have your sister killed whenever I wanted to. But the thing is, your hesitance was feigned. You were too eager to share certain details I hadn't even asked for. You intentionally told me too much to make me feel like I'm the one holding all of the cards."

"It's true that I was trying my hardest to convince you to let me join, sir," Mukuro concedes calmly, suppressing her quickened heart beating. "But nothing I said was a lie. I was just trying to show you that I know betraying Fenrir would be a bad idea even if I wanted to. I wanted to convince you of my loyalty towards my sister. That's why I had to go into detail."

"A common mistake people in my position make is assuming others are as rational as they are." Loki argues. "Nonetheless, despite your attempt at deceiving me, your reasoning behind it is sound. I acknowledge Athena's concerns and suspicion, but even someone with an Ultimate Talent is not invincible. You're aware of the fact that Fenrir can and will kill you and your entire family if you betray us. I'm not aware of any reason why you would betray us to begin with. The conclusion is obvious. Welcome to Fenrir."

Mukuro breathes a little more easy. This was kind of... quick. At the same time though, it felt both exhausting and long-winded. Loki obviously enjoys hearing himself talk. "Thank you, sir," she says. "I won't disappoint you."

"Stand up."

Mukuro gets up from her seat and stands up, her posture rigid, her cuffed hands folded in front of her.

"Usually, our members get to choose their own names. We're making an exception for you." Loki approaches her. There is something that looks like a small chain in his right hand. When he shows it to her, she sees there is something attached to the chain. Something like a small metal plaque, with a word written on it. "Dog tags aren't commonly used by mercenaries, but I find them useful. From now on, you're Arachne, not Mitsuko Otonashi." He puts the chain around her neck, and she feels the tag hit her chest once when he lets go of it.

"'Arachne', sir?" Mukuro asks uncertainly, looking up at the tall man. The name feels familiar, but she can't put her finger on it.

"A figure from Greek Mythology," Loki says. "Arachne was the most skilled weaver in Greece. Soon though, she became arrogant and challenged Athena, also a skilled weaver, to a contest. While she proved she was a better weaver than the goddess, she failed to realize that it didn't mean she was more powerful than her. Athena turned her into a spider for her hubris, so she could do nothing but weave for the rest of her life. Well, there are other versions, but I like this one the most. There is a good lesson in it, I believe. Do you know what the lesson is?"

"That I shouldn't get arrogant, sir?" Mukuro asks, trying not to make her question sound too dry. He's already threatened her, so she doesn't see why he's making strange metaphors out of it now.

"Essentially, yes." A shadow passes over Loki's disinterested face. In a low voice, he drones: "You may become Fenrir's most skilled mercenary in record time, but that doesn't make you the most powerful. Outclassing me when it comes to close combat, marksmanship, speed, or anything else... none of that means anything when I can merely snap my fingers and have hundreds of people point their guns in your direction. Try not to make Arachne's mistake."

"I won't, sir." Mukuro says.

"Good. Now, let's talk payment. Obviously, we can't wire the money to your parents' bank accounts."

Over the next hour, Loki goes over a variety of things with her. Offshore bank accounts, fake identities, contingency plans... being a member of an illegal mercenary group is more complicated than it first seemed. After a while, Mukuro almost just wants to tell him she's willing to work for free to get it over with already, but she reminds herself that the money will be useful to Junko.

After the money thing has been dealt with, they talk more in-depth about rules. There aren't a lot and most seem rather obvious. If she more or less acts like she's done in the other outpost, then basically she'll be fine. Loki also tells her what she needs to know about Fenrir's headquarters. She supposes she's glad to hear there are actual showers in this building. They even have warm water.

When they're nearing the end of their conversation, Mukuro finally gets to ask some questions herself. The first one is obvious. "Can I get into contact with my sister?"

"I suppose you have a right to contact her, now that you're a full member." Loki says in a tone that makes it obvious he'd rather she didn't have that right. "We will read your letters first, to make sure you aren't telling her anything she isn't supposed to know. There could be secret messages within the letters, too. Don't try anything like that."

Mukuro wonders if they do that with every Fenrir member here or if she's a special case. "Understood, sir." She says. She's not comfortable knowing that they'll read her private letters to Junko, but it can't be helped. It's better than nothing. "How will she be able to write back?"

"It will be explained to her when she receives your first letter. Suffice to say, the cost of both your letters to her and her letters to you will be taken out of your salary. Any other questions?"

"Where can I find my wolf, sir? Ahriman said it would be sent with me to headquarters." She's rather eager to see Lupa, if only to make sure that she actually gets to keep her. Maybe she also kind of wants to pet her soft fur, too...

"Your wolf is in the kennels outside. You may see it once I permit you to leave. First, you need to report to the quartermaster. He'll supply you with your uniform and your gear. Any other questions?"

Feeling a small surge of excitement in her stomach, Mukuro asks her final question. "Just one, sir. When is my first operation?"

"Hm. Eager, aren't you?" Loki walks past her and towards the steel door, motioning at her to follow. She does. "I see no sense in wasting your talent here." He says, swiping the pad next to the door with a keycard, causing it to open and reveal the hallway as well as the two men who've escorted her here. "I've assigned you to Hel company. Athena is leading that one -- don't disappoint her. Her current assignment is the elimination of a rebel group in Syria. You will move out today. The quartermaster will provide you with more information."

"Understood, sir." Mukuro replies, waiting. She can tell when she's being dismissed, but he might consider it disrespectful if she just walked past him without permission.

Loki considers her for a moment, before nodding. "Dismissed."

Mukuro walks past him, and the door closes behind her as soon as she's left the room.

The man to her left immediately unlocks her handcuffs, while the right one squints at her dog tag. "Arachne?" He asks. "Did you come up with that shit?" Mukuro shakes her head. He scoffs, and rolls his eyes towards the left man like they're in on some kind of joke. "Yeah, I figured. I'm just gonna call you Arac."

Mukuro doesn't respond to him. She couldn't care less what any of these people call her.

They escort her to the quartermaster, only this time she feels they're treating her less like a prisoner and more like someone who just doesn't know this building's layout.

She'd be lying if she said she wasn't a little excited to receive all her gear. She's been using most of this stuff, sure, but now she's actually _owning_ it instead of just borrowing it for training. Not to mention, holding an actual rifle that she can call her own is a good feeling. Having a combat knife equipped gives her a similiar feeling. She doesn't care that knives aren't issued as standard equipment and that it'll be taken out of her salary -- she wants to have a knife.

"Did you know we had this uniform specifically tailored for you?" The quartermaster asks flatly after handing the pile of mostly black clothing to her. "Turns out body armor for children isn't very common. The way that guy looked at me when I told him the sizes... oh boy."

"Can you tell me more about my operation, sir?" Mukuro asks, having no sympathy for his plight.

The quartermaster sighs, as if giving her critical information displeases him greatly, but relents. After he's done, he adds that she needs to stop by the doctor's office again in around an hour.

An hour is fine. It gives her more than enough time to check on Lupa. Well, Lupa will join her and Hel company anyway, but she still wants to see her before they leave.

Before she goes to Lupa though, she visits the commissary and subscribes to every popular fashion magazine Junko was always reading that she knows of. She has no idea if Junko will be in any of them, but the chance of it is worth wasting some money on. By the time she returns from the operation, the magazines will hopefully be there.

The commissary officer gives her a weird look when he sees what she's ordering, but she doesn't care. She also writes a quick letter to Junko, to make sure she knows she's alright. She'll write a longer one later. The other letters she sends along should hopefully make up for that.

After she's done, she goes to the kennels.

As soon as the kennel master lets Lupa out, Mukuro feels relief. It's good to see her. Suppressing a smile, she firmly says: "Lupa, to me."

Lupa trots up to her right away, her yellow eyes locked with Mukuro's gray ones. She reaches out and strokes her wolf's head. It's only been a few days since she petted her soft fur, but it feels like much longer.

Even though some of the mercenaries are looking at her with open interest, she doesn't stop petting Lupa. What does it matter if they think of her as childish? She's a full member of Fenrir now.

She'll prove her worth soon.

 

-

 

Only half an hour until she starts her first operation.

The doctor said she's in perfect condition, ready to move out. The anesthesia has fortunately worn off completely too.

Ignoring the chatter of the other mercenaries in the barracks, Mukuro takes a moment to look at herself in the mirror.

She looks like one of them now. Black combat boots, black cargo pants, a black jacket with a black tactical vest worn over it, a black helmet... Loki seems to be a big fan of that color. The white Fenrir wolf that's tattooed on the back of her hand is present -- also in white -- on both the jacket and the vest too. It's for psychological reasons, she supposes. Fenrir inspires fear in people. She wonders if she will inspire that feeling as well, despite the fact that she's a child.

Well, maybe she will inspire it in her enemies. Not so much in her... comrades. She probably looks ridiculous to the other Fenrir members.

They'll soon reassess their opinion, though.

She adjusts her large backpack, and watches the dog tag with her code name jiggle slightly. Maybe having a new name for a while won't be a bad thing. She hasn't been called by either 'Mukuro' or 'Mitsuko' for half a year now. She doesn't really mind that. She doesn't mind it at all.

_"Stupid, useless Mukuro!"_

_"You're a good girl, Mitsuko..."_

She suppresses a sigh.

Removing the magazine from her rifle, she checks her ammo like she's been taught. It's unnecessary, but she's feeling restless. It's better than doing nothing, better than standing around. Her eyes travel downwards, to the belt with her knife and her sidearm. She hopes she can use both of them soon, as well as her rifle.

Well, she's earned that privilege, hasn't she? There aren't many fourteen year olds who could be in the same position as her. It's taken a lot of blood and sweat, but she's one of them now. She's one of the most elite mercenaries on the planet now.

She's earned this all by herself.

There is a warm feeling in her chest all of a sudden. Could it be... that she feels proud? Proud of her accomplishment? Proud for making it so far in so little time? Proud of her skills?

_'Would you be proud of me, Junko-chan? Of what I've managed to do here?'_

She wonders. But... probably not. Junko would just... laugh at her again. Or call her talent stupid.

Her mouth tightens in the mirror. If she showed Junko the true extent of her abilities, there's no way Junko would laugh anymore. Junko would be proud.

... Right?

 _'I will make you proud, Junko-chan. I will prove it to you.'_  

That thought feels oddly bitter to her. Oddly wrong.

She feels a strange feeling surging up inside of her... and realizes it's anger.

For some reason, she suddenly remembers what Loki said before.

 _"You_ wouldn't  _understand, would you? People in your position rarely do."_

What... did he mean by that? Why do his words bother her?

Why did it feel like he was judging her relationship with Junko? Like he was... telling her something about it.

... It doesn't matter. What would he know? Someone like him, who only cares about himself, wouldn't understand her bond with Junko. He doesn't know her or Junko.

_'I will make you proud, Junko-chan. I will prove to you that I'm not stupid and useless.'_

She hesitates. That thought feels... wrong again.

 _'And...'_ She thinks, after some hesitance. _'I will prove it to myself, too.'_

Slowly, a small smirk forms on Arachne's face.

* * *

 


	4. Interlude: Letters I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm kind of cheating with this update. It's a lot shorter -- but not too short, I hope -- than before and is more of an interlude (hence, the chapter's name) than anything else. I couldn't for the life of me finish the actual chapter yet, so I hope this makes the wait easier.
> 
> I do think this chapter adds something to the story, though. I hope you still like it and don't get too impatient with me! I'll try to have the actual chapter out by next week!

* * *

  _Dear Junko,_

_I don't think I will be allowed to send this letter very soon, but I hope I will eventually._

_I wasn't able to watch your fashion show, I'm sorry. You wouldn't care, but I'm still sorry. I'm sorry for leaving, too. I don't think you would want me to justify it here, so I won't. I've done that enough, I think. I'm sorry for making you think of it. I just want you to know that I was thinking of it and wasn't just being inconsiderate. Am I rambling? I probably am._

_I know you don't need me. Or want me, a lot of the time. But, and I don't want to be presumptuous, a part of me thinks you might miss me a little? Or maybe I'm just hoping you do. Is that selfish of me?  I'm sorry._

_Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that if you do miss me you should know that I miss you too. A lot. I've started missing you the moment I left the hotel. Probably before that. I even turned around to see if you were seeing me off from the balcony. I didn't see anything though. It was probably stupid of me to expect that. Why would you want to look at me leaving?_

_Like I was saying, I miss you a lot. I think of you all the time. It's barely been a day since I left, and I think it will just get more painful every day. I'm not complaining. I deserve to hurt, don't I? It's not just that though... I feel that I should be in pain while we're apart. Because I'm your older sister. It just seems right that I am. Like this is how it's meant to be._

_I hope you still love me. I love you, a lot. A part of me thinks that, after how you've treated me recently, you stopped loving me at some point, but I don't think that's true. If you didn't love me, you wouldn't have reacted like that when I left. Does that make sense? Another part of me thinks you were just mad because I've always done so much for you and your life will be just more inconvenient while I'm gone. I hope that's not true. But if it is, then I hope it will even out once I'm back and you will see how much more useful I am to you._

_If you do still love me, it would mean a lot to me if you told me over a letter. When we're allowed to exchange letters, that is. Maybe we will be allowed to do that once I'm a full member of this group. I know you don't like to talk about your feelings, but it would really mean a lot to me. I'm sorry for asking. Don't feel pressured to do it, please. I'm not trying to guilt you into it, I'm just telling you how I feel. If this looks like I'm still trying to guilt you, I apologize._

_Nothing much has happened here yet. I arrived with three others and they split us up almost immediately once we reached our destination. I had to endure a doctor prodding me with questions and examining me. It was unpleasant, and I don't want to disgust you with any details._

_I was brought to their leader afterwards. Or at least one of them. There are three. He was annoying and talked a lot. I don't think you would like him, or anyone else here. They're mostly unpleasant and crude. The leader isn't, but like I said he's annoying._

_You will already know (I hope) this by the time you get this letter, but I don't think I will be back in three years. They want to keep me for five years, until we're both twenty. I'm really sorry about that, I never considered they would want to keep me around for longer. It was stupid of me. I should have thought of it. I hope you can forgive me. I hope I will be back before our birthday. I know you don't care for that day, but maybe it would be nice to spend our twentieth birthday together._

_I suppose the five years thing at least means I will be able to gather more experience, but I would still rather return two years earlier._

_I don't want this letter to get too long, since I know too much at once will bore you. So I'm trying to keep the rest simple: the food here is mediocre (you would hate it, I think), there is no warm water here and no real showers (you would definitely hate that), and my training starts tomorrow. It will last for a year. I have a lot of work ahead of me if I want to become more useful to you._

_You have a lot of work ahead of you too. I know you can do it though. I know you will be the greatest model in all of Japan, and even the entire word. You're so smart and beautiful and talented. Again, I'm sorry that I left you to take care of our mother alone. I really hope it won't interfere with your work too much._

_I'm going to sleep now. I hope I dream of you._

_(I've rewritten this letter at least a dozen times, by the way. I think you would find that funny.)_

_I love you, Junko-chan._

_\- Mukuro_

 

* * *

  _Dear Junko,_

_I hope you're well. I wish I could talk to you._

_It's been a week since my training started. I don't want to bore you with the details, but it's tough. Exhausting. I like some of the lessons, but even they are exhausting in some ways. The workouts are especially bad. It's even a little hard to write this letter, that's how sore I feel._

_At least I'm getting a nice tan, I suppose? I'm just joking. I feel that's a joke you would make, maybe? I'm sorry if I'm wrong._

_Enough about me._

_The leader told me they sent word to you that I will be gone for longer than we thought. You didn't reply. I understand that you were probably angry with me. I really should have considered that, like I said in my previous letter. I don't blame you for not responding. Even if I wish you did._

_I hope you can forgive me. I hope you still love me. I love you. I always will._

_Is it bad that I'm using the word 'hope' too much, by the way? It's kind of the opposite of 'despair', but I don't know how else to express myself. I suppose I'm just too stupid to know any other words for that, maybe. Well, you know more than anyone that I'm just an amateur when it comes to that whole despair thing. I hope I will be able to understand it more once I'm back with you._

_I definitely will return to you, Junko. Please believe me. Even if you don't care, I will try my hardest to make you happy once I'm back. I will do anything for you, no matter what it is._

_I wonder how your modelling is going. Probably well, like always. You're the prettiest girl in the entire world, after all. I wish I could look at some of those fashion magazines you're in, but since I'm not a full member of this group yet I'm not allowed to order anything. Since I don't have a salary yet._

_Speaking of, I'm going to make a lot of money here. Once I'm back, I will get you whatever you want. Whether it's things for your projects or just clothes, it doesn't matter. I think that once I'm back, we should spend a day with each other. I will spoil you a lot, Junko-chan! I'm really looking forward to it. Only if you want to, of course._

_That sounds really embarrassing, but I will keep it in the letter. I hope these letters aren't too long, by the way. I don't want to bore you._

_Anyway, I'm tired. I should go to sleep. I hope you're getting enough sleep. And that you're eating enough. I know you can take care of yourself, but I can't help worrying._

_It's an older sister's job to worry, you know?_

_I love you, Junko-chan._

_\- Mukuro_

 

* * *

  _Dear Junko,_

_Another week has passed. I feel I'm getting at least used to the lessons at this point. I'm doing better in most than before, too._

_I'm probably not making as much progress as you do, though. You're the smartest person I've ever met, and you're really pretty and talented. But you already know that..._

_I hope you're doing fine. I miss you a lot. I love you._

_You know, I think some of the things I learn here are actually kind of interesting. Do you remember when you told me I probably have an Ultimate Talent when it comes to all things military? You might have been right, like you always are. It's not like school, where I was never interested in anything._

_I got a tattoo today, a white wolf head within a black star. I wonder what you would think about it. You might think it's tacky. Or maybe you would think it suits me? I don't know._

_Oh, right! They have wolves here, in this group. I never cared a lot for animals, but I kind of like them. They look pretty and don't bother me. Arabian wolves, if you want to look it up. I petted one of them as part of my training (long story) today. It was nice. I think you would like them. You always were fond of dogs, weren't you? I think you would feel the same about the wolves here. The fur is really soft._

_I'm sorry, I'm talking too much about myself. How are you? I hope once we're allowed to exchange letters, you tell me a lot about how things are with you. Don't be afraid to ramble! I'm sure I will want to read every single word. Of course, that's not to say you're required to talk a lot. Or say anything at all. I'm not saying you have to. I'm just saying I would be happy if you did._

_Anyway, like I said, I feel I'm making some progress. I was thinking that once I return, I will be able to protect you forever. Like I'm the knight to your princess, remember? Do you still think of that sometimes, I wonder? I do. You would probably laugh at me right now, but I don't care. I'm proud to be your knight._

_Are these letters too boring or stale? I feel I'm not saying much at all, but I'm trying my best. I don't want them to be too long, since I know that bores you. I feel I already said that last time... I'm repeating myself a lot, aren't I? I'm sorry!_

_I should go to sleep either way. I'm sorry if this letter annoyed you._

_I love you, Junko-chan. My beloved princess._

_\- Mukuro_

 

* * *

  _Dear Junko,_

_My lessons are going well, I think. I don't want to bore you by saying more on that, so just assume they're going well unless I say otherwise._

_Are you well? I hope so. I miss you. I keep saying that, but it's true._

_I forgot to mention that I have a pet in the last letter. Well, sort of. The wolf is called Lupa and I'm supposed to take care of it, to prepare me for the wolves in the field. Did I ever mention the group I'm in uses wolves for fighting? It's interesting. I like the thought of commanding a wolf, to be honest._

_I'm not sure what else to say here. Not much happened since the last time I wrote a letter. I wish I could send them to you already so we could have a back-and-forth. But you might not want to exchange letters with me. I don't know..._

_I don't know anything. I wish someone told me how you were doing. You're doing well, I hope? Of course are. You don't need me. You never did. I just hope you will want me back regardless of that. We're sisters, after all. I love you. I miss you._

_Do you still love me? I love you. I wish I could get an answer. Would you even give me an answer if it was possible, though? Maybe not. Maybe I wouldn't deserve it._

_Well, I should stop now. I'm tired. I'm rambling too much._

_You know, if we could exchange letters already I would imagine we're both reading each other's letters before we go to sleep. It would be like we're going to sleep together? Like we used to? I just like imagining that. I don't know about you. I'm sorry if that's stupid._

_I love you, Junko-chan. Good night._

_\- Mukuro_

 

* * *

  _Dear Junko,_

_I was beat up a lot today by the close combat instructor, but I've made a lot of progress too. He had to get a lot more serious than usually, which means I'm becoming better and better._

_Soon I will be able to beat up anyone you tell me to beat up. Well, I always did that, but hypothetically I could beat up pretty much everyone on the planet once I become better than my instructor. I'm looking forward to it._

_I hope you're well. I miss you. I should stop saying that, it probably just annoys you at this point..._

_I'm really tired. I'm really sorry if this letter is too short._

_I love you, Junko-chan._

_\- Mukuro_

 

* * *

  _Dear Junko,_

_Something interesting happened today. They executed someone who messed up during an operation. They beat him up and then had wolves tear him apart. I wish you could have been there. I think you might have enjoyed watching his despair. Or just the spectacle._

_I will be able to get my wolf (remember Lupa?) to tear people's throats out too, once I'm a full member. You would probably enjoy having a wolf that would do these things. Maybe it's possible to bring the wolf back with me somehow? I think you would like it. It's a very pretty wolf, and it's obedient. It might not listen to you at first, but I think we can get it to do that._

_But enough about me, how are you? Well, you still can't respond to me and I can't even send this letter to begin with, so that's pointless to ask. I'm just being stupid._

_I'm sorry for being stupid. I'm probably being stupid a lot in these letters._

_I love you, Junko-chan._

_\- Mukuro_

 

* * *

  _Dear Junko,_

_I'm doing really well in my lessons. My weaponry instructor even called me a genius the other day. Can you believe that? I mean, he was wrong obviously, but it's still nice to hear._

_Well, you probably don't want to hear about that. I'm sorry._

_I'm exhausted. I should go to sleep, probably. I'm sorry if this letter is too short._

_I love you, Junko-chan._

_\- Mukuro_

 

* * *

_Dear Junko,_

_You know, I'm doing a lot better when it comes to a few subjects than I thought I would. I sometimes feel smart, almost. It's a strange feeling, since you always tell me how stupid I am._

_I realize that sounds a bit snippish... I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be. I'm just stupid in most things, but good when it comes to a few very specific things. So I'm still stupid overall._

_Still, I'm doing well in the lessons. I hope you're doing well, too._

_I love you, Junko-chan._

_\- Mukuro_

 

* * *

  _Dear Junko,_

_I'm making good progress. But that would probably bore you, so I'm not going to tell you about it._

_I love you._

_\- Mukuro_

 

* * *

  _Junko,_

_Do you even care that I'm gone? Once I send these letters... are you just going to throw them away without reading any? I don't know. You treated me like garbage before I left, so I just don't know._

_What did I do wrong? Why were you always so angry with me? What did you expect me to do? Why didn't you ever tell me what to do? I don't know. I guess it's true that I'm just stupid and useless, since I still can't figure it out._

_I like it here, you know? Most people here don't talk down to me. And even if they do, I know that I can prove them wrong one day. What about you? How can I prove you wrong? I don't know, because you don't tell me anything._

_You're probably going to scoff once you read this, or roll your eyes. You never take me seriously. I don't know why I bother._

_I don't know why I ever did._

_\- Mukuro_

 

* * *

  _Dear Junko,_

_I'm sorry about that last letter. You probably haven't read it, since I really don't think I want to send that one (I suppose not being able to send them yet has its advantages), but I feel I should tell you anyway. It was immature and stupid, and I was upset. I made some bad assumptions about you. I'm sorry._

_Talking to Lupa (my wolf) helped, curiously enough. You would probably find it stupid, but it did help. It made me feel better. I don't have anyone else I can talk to here._

_I miss you. For a while, I felt bitter and didn't think I missed you anymore, but I do. I miss you so much. I love you._

_Do you still love me? Do you still want me back? I really, really hope so._

_I'm sorry for being stupid and sentimental. I don't want to annoy you, so I should probably end the letter here._

_I love you so much, Junko-chan._

_\- Mukuro_

 

* * *

  _Dear Junko,_

_The close combat instructor got visibly angry with me today. That's a good thing. I'm making so much progress that it bothers him. It's contradictory, since his job is improving my skills, but I think I'm just making him feel bad about himself at this point._

_You would probably think that's funny, right?_

_The other lessons are progressing nicely too. I think I will be able to shave the training year down to at least half a year, or at least some of the instructors said so. I'm kind of proud of myself, to be honest._

_I hope I can make you proud too, someday. I don't know how I would, but I hope it's possible._

_I hope the leader will agree to holding my exams half a year early. I will write to you again once I know more._

_I love you, Junko-chan._

_\- Mukuro_

 

* * *

  _Dear Junko,_

_They agreed to test me half a year early. I'm not too nervous, but the close combat test might be a close call. I don't need to win in order to pass, just give an acceptable performance, but the instructor is stronger and more experienced than I am so he might be able to beat me too early. He doesn't like me either, so he might try to beat me sooner than he would otherwise. I either need to take advantage of my superior agility or speed, or catch him off-guard. He might underestimate me too much, too. I should probably fight smart, not fight to win, but after all the times he's beaten me or insulted me I would like to teach him a lesson. Maybe give him the despair of being beaten by a young girl?_

_I'm probably rambling about this, I'm sorry. I'm just kind of excited. Like I said, I'm not worried about the other lessons. I'm doing well in all of them, even the intellectual subjects._

_I hope I can tell you the good news next time._

_I love you, Junko-chan. I miss you. I hope I can make you proud._

_\- Mukuro_

 

* * *

  _Dear Junko,_

_I'm writing this letter later than I thought I would. I need to get going soon, so I won't have much time. I'm sorry. It's my first operation. I'm kind of excited. I will spread a lot of despair for you to make up for it, I promise._

_At least this letter will reach you soon, along with all the other letters I'm going to send along. You can write me back now, if you want to. You don't have to, but I would really like a letter. It's been six months..._

_I should get to the point already. I'm a full member now. I didn't just beat the instructor, I killed him. I beat him to death after he insulted you. They told me I was grinning afterwards. Do you like the thought of that? I hope you do. I didn't even notice I was grinning._

_I had a long discussion with one of the leaders. The actual leader, I suppose. You would hate him. He's boring. My discussion with him was necessary, though. After I killed the instructor, they weren't really sure what to do with me for a while. Apparently the third leader (not the one whose outpost I was in) wanted me dead, but the actual leader thinks I'm too useful to kill._

_He knows a lot of things about us. I had to tell him some other things he didn't know to make sure you're safe (it's a long story I don't want to get into right now, but please believe me). I'm sorry for telling him some of those more private things, but I think it was necessary._

_I will try best not to die, and to return to you soon. I still miss you a lot. I will never stop missing you._

_Oh, I subscribed to a couple of fashion magazines. I hope you're in them. I don't care if it's just a photo, I can't wait to see you again. You're the most beautiful girl in the world, you know? Of course you know. I'm sorry, I lost my train of thought._

_I should probably get going. I hope I hear from you soon. But if not, that's okay. You might still be mad at me. That's fine. You have every right to be. I just hope you still love me. That I still mean something to you._

_I would really, really like if you could tell me that. Over a letter. It would mean everything to me. You don't have to, though. Of course you don't have to._

_Either way..._

_Just know that I love you, Junko-chan. More than anything in the world. You're my everything. You're the only thing that matters. In the entire world._

_\- Mukuro_

* * *

 


	5. Thud

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to update it yesterday, but couldn't for the life of me finish this chapter. That's just how it is sometimes, I guess! I did only promise I would post "this week", so that's a loophole!
> 
> I hope I can bring my Mikan & Sayaka sidestory out too soon. I've been working on it for weeks on the side!
> 
> This chapter's art: https://inacron.tumblr.com/post/176928031061 (I can't figure out which one is my favorite. They're all beautiful and valid.)
> 
> I'm not focusing too much on all the military stuff, because honestly I don't know much about this kind of thing and it doesn't interest me terribly much. Hope you all like this chapter!

* * *

 

Arachne has barely stepped outside the truck when she's told that Athena is expecting her in the command tent.

No surprise there. She still needs to be assigned to a team. It's doubtful that they're just going to let her run around alone, unfortunately. She just hopes the people she'll work with won't be too annoying. Well, as long as they leave her alone, she doesn't care what they're like.

While she follows the order and goes -- without escorts, meaning that Athena at least trusts her to an extent -- to meet the final leader of Fenrir, Lupa trotting alongside her, Arachne wonders what her first operation is going to be like. She already knows some information, like that the enemy is some kind of rebel group, meaning they're probably not going to be much of a challenge.

It's almost a shame. She's been trained to fight US soldiers, not a bunch of armed civilians.

After telling Lupa to wait at the entrance, she enters the command tent and walks two steps forward. She stays still, the butt of her rifle placed on the ground just like Loki instructed her before she left. It's as much of an acknowledgement of respect as she's capable of. No one in Fenrir salutes anyone. "Arachne reporting, ma'am." She says to the only person in the tent, a woman looking over what appears to be a big map spread out on a table.

The woman turns around. Unlike Ahriman and Loki, Athena actually gives the impression of someone leading a mercenary group. At least a decade older looking than the other two leaders, a face full of grime and dirt with a matching scowl to accompany both, towering over Arachne by what must be almost half a meter, wearing that black combat gear everyone else here is wearing too... all of that combined makes her an imposing figure. The only thing that's missing is the helmet, which is laying behind her on the table. Her short, braided hair is showing instead.

It's kind of strange that she's wearing the same black uniform as everyone else. Wouldn't the commander want to distinguish herself from the common troops? If Junko was a leader of something, there's no doubt she would wear some fancy uniform to stand out. She'd at least approve of the braid, though. If she didn't find it too ugly, that is.

"So, you're that child prodigy." Athena says, her accent sounding similiar to the close combat instructor's Russian one, only not nearly as thick. Thicker than Ahriman's, though. It seems Loki is the only one of the leaders who's lacking an accent of any kind. "That Japanese girl who has killed her instructor."

"Yes, ma'am." Arachne replies dutifully.

"Kulak was a good friend of mine." Athena steps closer to her as she speaks, her eyes narrowing until they're practically slits. She looks a few seconds away from physically assaulting her. "You killed him. I don't take kindly to that."

Arachne stares back at her, having to bend her head backwards a little due to Athena's height. "He shouldn't have threatened my sister." After a barely noticeable pause, she adds: "Ma'am."

Athena's eyes somehow narrow even more. "I heard that he made juvenile threats." She concedes, her posture relaxing a little. She snorts, as if disgusted. "If he resorted to that and still got killed by a mere child, he deserved to die. I'm willing to forget about it."

Arachne doesn't reply to that. That man deserved to die for a lot of reasons, in her opinion. It's still strange how quickly Athena dismisses it, considering she just said he had been her friend.

"Ahriman and Loki are very impressed by you," Athena says, in a tone that suggests she doesn't feel the same way. Sure enough, she immediately clarifies: "I am not. Ahriman has only been a logistics officer for most of his career. Loki was a fighter once, but he's turned into a coward too paranoid to leave HQ. He's just a pussy now. Unlike me, these two haven't been in the field in decades. I won't show you any favoritism. I won't believe that you're more skilled than my other men just because you've done well in training either. You will have to prove it to me."

"I will, ma'am." Arachne says. She doesn't care about proving herself to this woman, but it will inevitably happen once Athena sees what she's capable of anyway. She might as well just agree to get this pointless conversation over with.

"Good. I'm assigning you to Surkova's team in Skadi squad. You can prove yourself there. Their tents are on the westernmost side of the camp. Report to the squad leader. You've already been briefed on the operation, haven't you?"

"Yes, ma'am." Arachne affirms. Surkova? She remembers that name. That was one of the recruits she'd arrived with at Ahriman's outpost. She remembers Surkova was patronizing about her age, but at least didn't make any derogatory comments. There are probably worse team leaders to have, she supposes.

"I have a few things to say to you before you can go: I don't trust you. I don't want you here. If it was up to me, you'd be dead." Athena tells her bluntly. "But Loki insists you're worth all the headache. I will at least try to believe it, seeing as he's usually not very optimistic about anything. Follow my orders and we won't have any problems. Are we clear?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Athena nods. "Just know that if you ever betray us, I will make you watch while I pull out your sister's intestines. _Slowly_. You're dismissed." She turns around again to focus on the map on the table, presumably to plan the attack.

Without a word, Arachne turns around and steps outside the tent. Hearing Junko being threatened fills her with cold anger, but she's disciplined enough not to show it at this point. Unless it's a very... specific threat.

It doesn't matter. They won't hurt Junko, ever. She won't give them a reason to, and she's made it abundantly clear how much her sister means to her. Loki wouldn't want to lose her skills, therefore Junko is safe.

Of course, that only applies if she's as good as Loki expects her to be.

"Lupa, follow." Arachne mutters without looking at her wolf, and proceeds to make her way west to join Skadi squad.

She will be as good as Loki expects her to be. She'll be even better than that, in fact. Her instructors kept telling her how skilled she was, how she shattered their expectations again and again. Who says she won't do that in the field as well?

If Junko was here, she'd probably snicker and ask her something like: 'When did my stupid, useless sister get so arrogant?'

Well, Junko would be wrong. It's not arrogance, it's just fact. The simple truth is that _(Ikusaba Mukuro)_ Arachne is a prodigy when it comes to all things military. Junko said as much herself when she suggested they both have an Ultimate Talent, didn't she? Yet there's no doubt she'd mock her for acknowledging her own skills.

What's so wrong with being proud of herself? She has _earned_ this, all of it. Natural talent was obviously involved, but she has worked hard to cultivate it. She has suffered for it.

She isn't good at anything else. Why wouldn't she be proud?

While Arachne walks past the tents and trucks making up the camp, she feels sweat running down her forehead. It's hot outside. Well, she supposes that's to be expected of Syria in the middle of August. Still, it could be worse. Considering she spent the last few months somewhere even hotter, she's gotten pretty used to the heat. It's mostly just her wearing all this gear that makes the hot weather torturous. Good for combat, not so good for resisting the heat.

She notices quite a few of the others Fenrir members' eyes on her while she's walking. It feels strange after the mercenaries at Ahriman's outpost ignored her once they'd gotten used to her being around. She supposes the ones here either haven't heard of her or they didn't think she would actually join them. It's probably hard to believe that some fourteen year old is on the same level as an adult. Most people should be familiar with the concept of an Ultimate Talent, though.

Then again, even teenagers with an Ultimate Talent aren't necessarily better than adults at the same thing. A, for example, teenage athlete with an Ultimate Talent generally is just the best in their age group, not the best one on the planet. If, for example, the Ultimate Sprinter challenged someone like Usain Bolt to a race, they would most likely lose due to their inexperience and youth. Talent only gets one so far.

Arachne knows she's a special case herself, however. While she isn't as physically strong or experienced as the other mercenaries here, she's such a fast learner that it probably won't matter pretty soon. Or so she likes to think anyway.

When she arrives at the westernmost side of the camp, she asks the nearest person where the person leading Skadi squad is. While he gives her a funny look, he thankfully points her into the right direction without making some stupid comment.

The squad leader, who looks identical to pretty much every other white man she's seen in Fenrir so far save for having slightly tanner skin, is cleaning his disassembled sidearm when she steps in front of him and introduces herself. She doesn't pseudo salute like she did with Athena, instead keeping her rifle in her arms. He looks at her, then at Lupa, then back at her. "I've heard of you," he says, a small smile on his face. "Arachne, is it? I don't want to pronounce that shit. You're Arac from now on, as far as I'm concerned. I'm Pinocchio, nice to meet you."

He doesn't want to pronounce _her_ name, while having a name like that? Well, either way, he probably expects her to say something. "Nice to meet you too, sir." Arachne lies, not even trying to appear genuine.

"Yeah, right." The squad leader scoffs. He looks down at his sidearm again. "You can call me Pino, for short. It's only fair, right?" Not giving her any time to respond -- not that she would have -- he continues cheerfully. "So, Arac! I've heard you beat a certain Russian bastard to death. Is that true?"

"Yes, sir."

"Nice! I fucking hated that guy." The squad leader's eyes move to Lupa. "Good to see you brought a wolf, too. I've always wanted one in my squad. What's the name?"

"She's called Lupa, sir." Arachne answers. Genuinely curious for the first time, she asks: "Are there any other wolves here?"

"There are. Freyja squad and Heimdallr squad have a few, but only two are attack wolves." The squad leader explains. That makes sense. Wolves are not very common on the frontlines. Fenrir uses their wolves mostly to help guard camps, not for assaults. "What about your Lupa? Is she here to guard or to attack?"

"Attack, sir. I've proven our effectiveness to my instructor." Arachne says that with no small amount of pride.

"Good to hear! I'm leaving the commands to you for most part, but as the squad leader I reserve my right to call on your wolf when I need her. Same goes for the rest of the squad. Not a problem, is it?"

"No, sir." Actually, she does have a problem with that, but it's pointless to mention. She's his underling, unfortunately. She'll just have to deal with it.

The squad leader sighs. He puts down the cloth he was just cleaning his pistol's barrel with. "Every time you call me 'sir', you look like you're barely stopping yourself from rolling your fucking eyes. Leave that 'sir' or 'ma'am' shit to the higher-ups. You don't have to call me that."

"Understood." Well, she'll take it. Calling at least one less of these people 'sir' is something she can appreciate.

"Great!" He resumes cleaning. "You're lucky, you know? You joined the best fucking squad in the entirety of Fenrir. I'm not really into that mythology crap like Loki, but Skadi is the goddess of hunting or something. Pretty fitting, if I do say so myself. Those rebels, there." He jerks his head westwards. "We'll hunt them down, if you know what I mean. Probably a stupid question to ask at this point, but do you have any issue with gunning these people down?"

Arachne gives him a strange look. It really is a stupid question. "No," she says. "If I did, I wouldn't be here."

"Cool, cool! Just wanted to make sure. Since you're a kid and all." The squad leader cocks his head and smiles at her. "Some of the guys in the squad think you'll piss or puke yourself during the fight. Some even made bets."

"I see." Arachne says, mostly confused. Do they really think the leaders would put just any child out there with them? It's understandable to underestimate her abilities to an extent, but this is something she can't comprehend.

"You're gonna prove them wrong, eh?" The squad leader asks, looking like he's about to give her a motivational speech. She rather he wouldn't.

"I suppose." Arachne says flatly.

The squad leader laughs. "You just don't give a fuck, I see! I like it! So, I assume you'll join Surkova's team?"

"Yes."

"Yeah, I figured. It's the only team that has only three people in it. Oh, now that I think about it, Skadi squad has thirteen members now. Three teams with four people each and me! Almost makes it look like you're bringing us bad luck, doesn't it?"

Arachne doesn't give an answer. She doesn't know what she's supposed to say to that.

"Sheesh, you need to fucking lighten up a little!" The squad leader punches her in the shoulder. It's probably supposed to be a playful gesture or something, since the punch is weak. When she merely blinks at him in confusion, he just sighs. "Oh, I can already see you're not gonna be fun. Well, go on. Get acquainted with your team leader. Surkova's about as frigid and fun hating as you, so you'll get along great! She's working out with her team over there." He points at a woman and two men near a tent at the edge of the camp.

Sure enough, she recognizes all three as the recruits that arrived with her at Ahriman's outpost. Surkova is in the process doing sit-ups while one of the men is on his knees holding her ankles. The other one is leaning against the nearby tent, facing away and not looking at either.

"Understood." Arachne tells the squad leader before turning away and making her way to her new team.

She remembers Surkova as at least tolerable. The other two men were annoying, though at least didn't say anything weird or creepy. Well, the European man -- Herzog, she believes -- said some racist things, but then that's what she expects of white men at this point. The American man -- Octavian, she's pretty sure -- just talked a lot. She doesn't like people who talk a lot unless it's Junko who does it. And even Junko can get exhausting to listen to sometimes.

Her eyes jump to Surkova's upper body as she approaches her teammates. Neither the black jacket nor the black tactical vest are present at the moment, just a sports bra. It makes sense not to wear either during a workout, she supposes. She wonders if she's going to look as muscular as Surkova when she's older. She's not scrawny or anything, but she wouldn't mind being that muscular, that strong.

Arachne blinks. She's seen plenty of muscular upper bodies during her time in Fenrir so far. There's really no reason to stare like an idiot. Shaking her head slightly, she steps next to Surkova's supine body and drones: "Arachne reporting, ma'am. Athena told me to join your team." Like with the squad leader, she refuses to give something resembling a salute. The only people who have any real authority over her are Loki, Athena, and Ahriman. That's why she won't salute to anyone else unless they deliberately make it into an issue.

Surkova glances at her out of the corner of her eyes, stopping in the middle of her current sit up. "Wait a moment. I'll finish this set first." She says gruffly, and continues her workout. Arachne doesn't mind. Having one's workout interrupted is irritating.

The man holding Surkova's ankles, Herzog, squints at her. He's probably trying to remember who she is. When his eyes light up and he's seemingly about to say something though, someone else preempts him.

"Well, well!" The man leaning against the tent, Octavian, shifts to face her. He smirks. "If it isn't Gogo Yubari herself. Good to see they allowed you to wash the blood off your face after you killed that guy."

"Why wouldn't they?" Arachne asks flatly, not understanding what this man is on about. And what did he call her just now? It's probably just some stupid joke.

Octavian shrugs lazily. "No reason. Just wanted to mention that whole thing where you beat your coach to death. That was hilarious. Made my day."

"I'm sure it was just an accident." Herzog suggests.

"Really?" Octavian's smirk gets wider. He doesn't even look at Herzog, just at her. "Was it an accident, Black Widow?"

"No." Arachne answers.

"There we have it! 'Black Widow' doesn't make any sense, though. Yeah, your name basically means spider and you're wearing all black, but the character doesn't fit. Shame on me, really."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Arachne says, not having lost her flat tone from before.

"Yeah, I guess you wouldn't." Octavian sighs like she's just insulted him. If she did, she doesn't care. He's already irritating her and it hasn't even been a minute yet. "Hear that, Herzog? She hasn't watched any Marvel movies after all."

"You really should. They make some great movies." Herzog advises her, apparently unable to notice that she doesn't care for him either.

"Yeah!" Octavian smiles brightly. "I mean, there weren't any TVs at that outpost, but she could've just asked Ahriman to use his computer and could've gone on Netflix or something. He was a nice guy. He would've let her. Right, Herzog?"

Herzog nods. "Yeah, good thinking!"

Octavian laughs. "Ah, Herzog. You're such a goddamn fucking cretin. I never get tired of it."

Herzog's smile stays on his face for a second, until he appears to notice the juxtaposition between Octavian's friendly tone and his words. "Octavian, why do you have to-"

"Shut up, both of you." Surkova orders, now done with her workout. She stands up and stretches a little, and Arachne is reminded by how tall that woman is in comparison to her. Not quite as tall as Athena, but close. While she's stretching, she regards Arachne with curiosity. "You've made it. I admit I didn't expect to see you again. I guess I'm not the only one who underestimated you."

"Hey, at least you didn't get beaten to death because of it." Octavian comments.

"I'm not sure what to think about having a child in my team," Surkova continues, ignoring Octavian entirely. "But if Athena thinks that's for the best, I won't argue it. Your wolf." She nods her head towards Lupa, who's sitting obediently next to Arachne. "Do we use it for attacks?"

"Yes, ma'am." Arachne replies, not liking Surkova's usage of the word 'we', though she can't do anything about it. "I've proven our effectiveness to my instructor."

"I see. Don't worry, the wolf is still yours, but it needs to be able to listen to every squad member, not just you. It will, won't it?"

"Yes, ma'am. Lupa was trained to obey any member of Fenrir."

"Obviously. Every wolf is trained to do that, but sometimes the wolves who bond with their handlers enough won't listen to anyone but their handler anymore. That's a problem."

"I didn't know that, ma'am." Arachne admits. She can't say she hates the thought of Lupa only obeying her, though. Even if it became an issue.

"We'll test it before we move out, don't worry." Surkova dismisses. "Stop calling me 'ma'am', by the way. It's unnecessary. My name is Surkova."

"Yeah, you'll make the poor old lady feel old." Octavian adds. "How old _are_ you, Surkova? I still have no idea."

"I'm thirty-two!" Herzog mentions.

"Great. No one asked." Octavian tells him. Before Herzog can retort, Octavian turns to Arachne. "How old are you anyway? Can I guess? Twelve!"

"Fourteen." Arachne says.

"Really? Then how come you're so short? Like, I can barely see you from up here. Really, I don't-"

"Knock it off, Tiberius. You're barely... what is it you Americans use? Feet and inches? You're barely five feet and five inches tall." Surkova says, causing Octavian to give her a dirty look. "The girl isn't that small for her age."

"Well, I guess we could always use her to crawl through small spaces when we can't reach them or something." Octavian relents.

Fed up with their pointless talking, Arachne asks: "Can you tell me more about our operation?"

"There isn't much to say." Surkova is the one who replies. "We're fighting Syrian rebels. They overtook a city that our client would rather they didn't. They destroyed parts of the city and our client doesn't want us to add to that, so most explosives are strictly forbidden. Civilian casualties should be kept at a minimum. The rebels are led by military deserters, but most of them barely have any training. They mostly use AK-47s that they stole from the Syrian army, maybe some explosives too."

"The objective is to kill them all." Octavian interjects. "Our client doesn't want anyone to be left alive. He wants to send a message to the rest. Sounds like fun, doesn't it?"

"It won't be much of a problem." Herzog suggests. "A good portion of the rebels left to join their main group the other day. There aren't that many left in the city. It's easy. How do people say? Easy peasy lemon squeezy!"

"We will get over all of this with Pinocchio later, in more detail. Just do what you're told and it will be fine." Surkova concludes.

"Understood." Arachne answers. She can wait, she supposes.

Surkova nods. "Right. Speaking of, I need to talk to Pinocchio. Herzog, come with me." She looks from Herzog to Arachne. "Good to have you with us." Surkova says to her, giving her a curt nod before she leaves, Herzog following behind.

Not really knowing what to do, Arachne sits down against the tent on the left of her remaining squadmate, though as far away as possible, checking her magazine. Lupa sits down next to her, resting her head on Arachne's left leg. She doesn't really need any additional warmth from Lupa's body right now, but the presence is comforting in a way.

"Aww." Octavian coos sarcastically after Surkova and Herzog are out of earshot. "I think she likes you, Spider-Girl. Well, as much as a commie can like a child. They eat children in the winter, you know?"

Arachne ignores both him and her compulsion to ask what 'commie' means. She inspects her assault rifle, trying to absorb the information she's just received. The rebels are using AK-47s. An AK-47 is commonly regarded as one of the most reliable guns on the planet, but there are guns that outclass it. The standard weapon of a Fenrir mercenary, the HK416 assault rifle, is one such gun. That means they have the advantage over the enemy in at least one regard. Two, when she considers that Fenrir mercenaries are professionally trained and know discipline while the rebel group mostly consists of barely trained civilians. Fenrir most likely has more effective combat armor too. Not to mention their sidearms, although they're fairly standard USP Compact, definitely trump whatever pistols the rebels possess as well.

This is probably going to be easy, isn't it?

Arachne frowns. Seeing as she doesn't even have any experience, she shouldn't get arrogant. And even if it did end up as easy, the enemy could be a lot more powerful than this. Those are no US troops, just a couple civilians touting guns.

"Aw, fuck." She hears Octavian mutter. When she glances at him, he's looking up at the sky. "It's gonna rain? Here? In _August_? Are you shitting me?" When he notices her looking at him, he seems to forget about the apparently upcoming rain. "Hey, before I forget, do you realize you look absolutely ridiculous? Like, a kid wearing a Halloween costume and pretending to be a soldier? Let's hope the rebels are gonna be too busy dying instead of laughing at you." He starts to snicker himself, as if to emphasize his point.

Arachne ignores him, looking back at her gun instead. She checks the magazine again.

She very much doubts any of her enemies are going to laugh at her. Not even Junko would, after what she's going to do today. She's going to prove herself. She's going to prove to everyone _(to Junko)_ that she's not someone to dismiss. She's someone who deserves to be here. She won't let anyone look down on her after today.

Looking up at the increasingly gloomy, gray sky, Arachne feels a strange feeling in her chest.

She doesn't think it's fear. It feels strange, but... it might be excitement.

Somewhere in the distance, she can hear a thunderclap.

 

-

 

Alongside three other Fenrir members, consisting of one of her own squadmates and two people from Heimdallr squad, Arachne waits behind a half-destroyed shop, gripping her rifle maybe a little too tightly.

The excitement from before has decreased. She's kind of nervous. Not even close to actually losing her nerves, no... but there's enough to agitate her. It's her first operation, after all. What if she messes up in some way? What if someone gets lucky and manages to shoot her? That's all it would take: some luck. And then she'll never be able to return to Junko.

She wishes Lupa was here. She could run her hands through her wolf's fur and some of her anxiety would disappear. Lupa's absence makes sense, seeing as the squad leader wants to use her to frighten the enemy, but knowing that doesn't make it any easier.

Raindrops thud against Arachne's helmet, the sensation making her feel even more restless. She stares down at her black boots. She rocks on her feet a bit, watching as the boots rise and sink back down into the mud that the moderate rain is causing. Somehow, seeing that soothes her nerves just a bit.

She looks up at the gloomy, gray sky, letting the raindrops fall on her face instead of her helmet. Despite what the weather may suggest, it's still hot. She's sweating beneath all of her combat gear, though the rain does help.

Maybe the sweat is not just be from the heat alone.

Arachne shakes her head. She takes a shallow breath and exhales it.

This isn't the time to have doubts.

Pressing her lips together, she focuses again. She checks her rifle's magazine, then pulls out her sidearm to check its magazine as well. She checks her knife's sharpness too, for good measure. One can never be too careful. Afterwards, she looks at the three men around her, hoping they haven't taken notice of her antsy behavior just now.

None of them have, it seems. The two Heimdallr squad members are still keeping a lookout at the ruined shop's corner, while Herzog appears to be staring at a broken sign -- probably from the shop -- laying in the mud with great interest. At least he's given up on striking up a conversation with her.

"Sure taking their fucking time." The Heimdallr squad member closer to the corner mutters. She's pretty sure his name is Folly. She'll have to try to remember all these people's names now, she supposes. She looks at him directly when she sees him gesturing something out of the corner of her eye. Through hand signs, Folly asks the four Fenrir members on the opposite side of them if they've heard or seen anything yet. Arachne can't see the others from where she is, but judging from the exasperated sigh he lets out she can guess what the answer was.

Arachne can agree with the impatience. She wishes she could just fire this rifle already. This is her first real test here. She wants to see if she's up to the challenge. She wants to prove herself.

And maybe a part of her just wants to get it over with already, to get rid of that uncomfortable feeling in her stomach. Should she really be feeling nervous after everything she's been through already? It's like she told Loki: if she dies, she dies. Simple as that.

Besides, it'd give Junko despair if she died. Right? So her dying here would be good, in a way. Right?

Arachne closes her eyes, suppressing a sigh. The thought doesn't give her any comfort. If anything, she feels even worse than before. It's probably untrue, too. Junko cried after their parents had died. Surely, Junko would cry for her too? Does she just want to believe that? No, surely Junko would cry. She'd be torn up.

The thought of Junko crying over her feels kind of good. How odd.

Arachne perks up when she suddenly hears gunfire close by.

"Get in position." Folly hisses to them.

Arachne swiftly gets into her position. She gets down on her left knee in front of Folly standing at the corner. Taking cover behind a broken washing machine, she aims her rifle at the intersection.

She glances to her right, watching Herzog and the other Heimdallr squad member -- Derringer or something -- take position behind a ruined car. They're not her concern though, so she looks towards the intersection again, waiting for the first few rebels to come running. There are more gunshots. And yelling.

Quietly muttering, Folly orders: "On my mark."

Some of the rebels run out into the open. Although Arachne's first instinct is to shoot, she stays her hand and listens to the order. If they start shooting the rebels too early, their comrades behind them will see them drop dead on the street and try to flee somewhere else.

More rebels run out into the open. There are men and women, some in what appear to be some kind of uniform and most in civilian clothes. Some of them might even _be_ civilians, startled by all the fighting. It doesn't matter. They're supposed to shoot anyone out in the open, even if civilian casualties should be avoided. The man who hired them seems to believe that anyone who tries run is a traitor by default.

An explosion -- likely an unplanned one -- damages a nearby building, some of the rubble raining down on the rebels fleeing across the intersection. Arachne watches as a particularly large rock lands on a man's head and caves it open. He walks a few more steps before falling flat on his face. More rebels run out of the damaged building.

"Open fire!" Folly finally orders, firing his rifle as soon as the command leaves his mouth.

Arachne obeys. The first thing she shoots is the biggest threat she can see: a man with a red bandana around his head carrying a rocket launcher out of the damaged building. Afterwards, she aims for everyone who is armed and running into their direction, keeping an eye out for more rebels armed with rocket launchers or other explosives.

She fires short, controlled bursts just like during training. She shoots a man fumbling with his AK-47, a man trying to jump behind a destroyed car, a woman throwing down her weapon and cursing at them loudly, a man holding up his hands in obvious surrender...

It's easy.

Little by little, her anxiety decreases. It's probably strange that gunning people down has a calming effect on her, but it does. The more people she kills, the less nervous she gets. It feels reassuring to know that this is coming to her as easily as the training excercises. That it's not difficult at all. Though she supposes the threat of that rebel group isn't very high, so she shouldn't get too sure of herself just yet.

When most of the rebels are dead and the rest are scattered across the street, trying to take cover, Arachne spots Lupa and the other two wolves running across the intersection. Lupa pounces on a rebel hiding behind some rubble and ravages his throat with a ferocity that Arachne recognizes from training, only on a real person it looks a lot more brutal.

"Hold your fire!" Folly orders.

Although she doesn't lose her tenseness, Arachne does as he says. She assumes he doesn't want them to waste more ammunition, seeing as the other teams have caught up now and are in a better position to flush the rest of the rebels out of their cover. Some have already panicked upon seeing the wolves, running out of cover only to get abruptly shot.

The rest of the battle at the intersection is short. Some of the rebels fight to the end, some try to surrender. It doesn't matter. One by one, they get shot or get their throats torn out by the wolves.

When it's over, everyone regroups behind the damaged convenience store that the team opposite of Arachne's has been positioned at. All she can do is wait while Athena -- who was leading the assault team herself, curiously enough -- and the squad leaders discuss strategy. Not that she's close enough to listen in on that. Rather, she has to listen to the various other Fenrir members talk about kill counts or their experiences during the operation. She soon tunes them out, not very interested in anything they have to say.

Usually, Lupa would be next to her right now, but she and the other wolves are assigned to the team hunting down rebel stragglers. She supposes she's glad Lupa has proven her worth too, though.

She's checking her magazine when Octavian slumps down next to her against the wall. "Hey, Spider-Girl," he says. "Checking your magazine right now? Damn, are you some kinda military nerd or something? Are you gonna bring in an apple for Pino and clean the blackboard next time?"

Arachne ignores him.

Octavian lets out an annoyed sigh, probably rolling his eyes as well. "Jesus, it's a joke. Cheer up, Spider-Girl! We won! It's a good thing! Well, I mean... now the people in this fine city will continue to be oppressed by some despot and we basically just killed a bunch of freedom fighters who only wanted civil rights. That doesn't sound good, does it? But the despot also happens to pays _us_ , so that's a good thing! It's all a matter of perspective, you see?"

"What does 'despot' mean?" Arachne asks, not looking at him. She might as well say _something_ , since he's just going to continue talking forever.

"Well, do you know what 'dictator' means?" Arachne nods. "Yeah, so. Basically that. Anyway! Did you piss or puke yourself?" Is he referring to that bet the squad leader told her about earlier? She shakes her head. "I knew it! You've just won me a lot of money, Spider-Girl! I won't share it with you or anything, but thanks."

"Are you talking about that bet?" Arachne frowns at him. "Why did you bet on me?"

"Why _wouldn't_ I bet on you?" Octavian counters. "I mean, look at you. You're a fucking freak! You killed that Russian meathead and you were smiling afterwards. Does that sound like the kind of person who'd lose her composure over some pathetically simple mission like this? Hell, I bet you're disappointed the mission was such a snooze fest."

Disappointed? Arachne considers that, now that the fighting is over. It _was_ pretty easy overall, wasn't it? She wouldn't say she's disappointed, but she does suppose she's expected a little more than just gunning down a couple of poorly trained rebels who were caught off-guard. It doesn't help that her assignment was relatively risk-free, at least compared to the other teams. She wonders if Surkova gave her that position on purpose, to keep her out of the real fight.

Still... she isn't disappointed.

"Either way," Octavian says, interrupting her thoughts. "You did good, Spider-Girl. How do you feel?"

"Fine." Arachne answers.

"How do you feel about what you just did?" Octavian asks, looking at her with something like interest. "I mean, like I said before, we basically killed a bunch of people who just didn't want to be oppressed anymore. Kinda shitty, isn't it?"

"I don't care." Why would she? It's not like she even as much as knew anyone in this city.

Octavian smirks. "Your heart is as cold as Herzog's head is empty. Never thought I'd work together with a budding psychopath. If you can even say it's 'budding' anyway. Thanks for adding to my experiences here! I'll be sure to mention you to my future therapist!"

Arachne doesn't respond. She is content sitting in relative silence, letting the rain drop on her helmet. It doesn't feel irritating like before, it adds to the serenity. She could almost fall asleep like this, really.

Unfortunately, her peace is disturbed again when Herzog sits down next to her too. He babbles on about something, but she doesn't bother listening. Not that he seems to notice that. Not even a few seconds later though, someone cuts through his words.

"Arachne." When she hears her name, she looks up. She's pretty sure this is the first time someone's bothered to call her by her name here. Surkova crouches down so that they're face to face, appearing to be strangely concerned. "Are you alright?"

"Yes." Arachne answers, somewhat confused. Does Surkova think she's injured? She's pretty sure her armor or anything else doesn't even have dirt on it.

"Well. Good." Surkova says, looking like she's taken aback by the response. "Folly told me..." She hesitates, collecting her thoughts for a moment. "He said you have good aim."

Arachne doesn't respond. What can she say? It would be strange to just say: 'Yes' in response, wouldn't it? "Can I ask something?" She says instead.

"Of course."

"Why does Athena fight on the frontlines? Isn't that strange for the commander?"

"... Yes." Surkova agrees after a small pause, probably not having expected that question. "Athena is a fighter. She could never lead from anywhere but the front lines even if it was smarter to do that. She resents cowardice. As well as sensibility." Surkova snorts after saying that, though despite the thinly-veiled insult, there is an odd reverence in her tone.

"If she didn't know what she was doing, she wouldn't be alive anymore." Octavian argues from the side. "Granted. Luck probably plays a role there too."

"It's the luck of the _Russisch_." Herzog comments. Arachne has no idea what that last word is supposed to mean, but he pronounced it strangely. It's the German language, she supposes.

"It's 'luck of the _Irish_ ', you imbecile." Octavian corrects. "Also, Athena isn't Russian."

"Oh, yes? How do you know?" Herzog challenges, raising his head in what seems to be an attempt to come off as intimidating. It doesn't look intimidating at all.

"I know everything. I'm a fucking genius." Octavian retorts.

"You will have to tolerate this from now on." Surkova tells Arachne in a dry tone. "Good luck."

Arachne tries to ignore her team while they continue to talk and bicker amongst each other, opting to check her gear instead. Her rifle, her sidearm, her stun grenades, her combat knife... she takes out her knife and studies it. She wishes she could have used it during this operation. It's such a nice knife.

Well, maybe she will get that chance. They pushed most of the rebels out of the city, but apparently some remain in a nearby village. Athena and the squad leaders are probably discussing whether that should be part of the contract or not right now.

Eventually, Athena and the squad leaders come to an agreement and split everyone into two teams. One team assaults the village while the other one stays in the city and keeps watch. Skadi squad is in the second team, much to Arachne's disappointment.

At least Lupa gets to stay with her. When Lupa trots up to her after the hunter team returns, Arachne, ignoring all the blood on her fur, scratches her behind the ears just the way she likes it.

"Alright! Clean-up time!" The squad leader -- Pinocchio, she supposes -- says, causing Arachne to stop mid-pet. "Konstantin team and Surkova team, put these poors saps out of their misery. Standby at the ruined shop afterwards. The rest of you, with me."

While they walk out into the intersection, Arachne pulls out her knife. It seems she'll get to use it, after all. She wonders what it's like to stab someone to death with a knife like this. With Daisuke a few years back, it felt odd. There was definitely some resistance and it felt strange as a result. With the combat knife she has, she should be able to have a much simpler time. It helps that she's stronger than she was at that time, too.

When she attempts to walk over to the nearest rebel on the ground though, she feels a hand on her shoulder. She turns around to lock eyes with Surkova. "You wait at the ruined shop."

Arachne frowns. "Why?"

"Because I want you there. Don't question orders." Surkova snaps. "Now, go."

Although there is irritation surging up in her, Arachne obeys the order and mutters: "Understood." She jams her knife back into her holster and turns away from Surkova, briskly walking towards the ruined shop. Not even hearing Lupa trotting behind her like usually is much of a consolation.

She feels she's just been insulted. It's blatantly obvious what Surkova is trying to do. Does she think Arachne doesn't have what it takes? Like she'd balk at the prospect of executing her enemies after everything today? How ridiculous.

While she walks by the dying rebels on the street, she watches the clean-up team execute them out of the corner of her eyes. Most simply shoot them in the head, although some do finish them off with knives too. Then there is Herzog, who for some reason has stepped on a rebel's head to press their face into the mud in order to suffocate them instead of killing them in a more sensible way.

Maybe there is a good reason why Octavian seems to hold that man in such contempt, Arachne supposes. There is definitely something about the mildly fascinated look on Herzog's face while he's killing the rebel that she finds off-putting in some way. Not that it matters, though.

Looking straight ahead, Arachne quickens her pace, although she walks more slowly again when she hears someone moaning next to her. It's one of the rebels laying in the mud, muttering something. He's clearly staring at her while he does it too. Maybe he's trying to beg for his life.

Come to think of it, Surkova told her to go back to the ruined shop, but didn't tell her not to kill anyone on the way.

Arachne takes out her knife. She approaches the rebel and kneels down. His speech becomes louder than before and he tries to scoot away from her, but she quickly ends his endeavor with her knife. It's just like she suspected -- the blade jams into his neck like it's nothing. It's a more satisfying feeling than it was with Daisuke, to be sure. When she pulls it out of his neck, his head hits the rubble behind it with a dull thud.

She wipes the knife on his clothes. When she sees Lupa giving her a curious look next to her, blood still all over her, Arachne frowns and cuts off a part of the rebel's shirt. She spots a knife sticking out of one of his pockets. It looks pretty, so she takes it.

With the piece of cloth in her hand and both knives in her holster, she walks back to the ruined shop and sits against the wall. "Lupa, to me." She orders, patting the ground in front of her with her right hand while holding the piece of cloth up with her left hand.

Lupa sits down in front of her, her yellow eyes gazing into Arachne's gray ones. When the piece of cloth is sufficiently wet from the slightly decreasing rain, Arachne gently rubs it over Lupa's head and snout, cleaning the blood off.

"You did well." Arachne tells her wolf in a quiet murmur. She runs her hand over Lupa's snout, patting it lightly. She hasn't seen much of what Lupa did unfortunately, but Pinocchio said he had been more than satisfied with her performance.

She wonders what Junko would think of the whole thing. Would she be proud? It would make sense, wouldn't it? After all, a lot of people have fallen into despair today. That man she killed... he must have felt a lot of despair when he saw her approach. He certainly sounded like it. Junko would love it, no doubt.

It's kind of ironic, in a way. There is an argument to be made that the despair of Arachne's victims today trumps the despair of all of Junko's victims throughout the years combined.

Maybe Arachne should call herself the Queen of Despair now. The thought makes her smirk slightly.

How silly she was to be nervous. She has trained for this for half a year. It was obvious she would do well. And she did. It was even _too_ easy. Well, today may have been a bit too easy, but also... it was good. It felt good to shoot these people, to destroy them. To... defeat them, she supposes.

Arachne feels powerful. Yes, performing her talent makes her feel powerful. Killing people... makes her feel powerful. She never thought she would basically kill people for a living, but that's what she's doing. It's no surprise. She never _has_ been normal. Neither Junko nor her. She was made for this. For warfare. For gunning people down.

She doesn't mind.

If killing people is the only thing she's good for, then killing people is what she will do.

* * *

 


	6. Interlude: Letters II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while! Four months of hiatus... they passed frighteningly fast for me. I've been busy, but that wasn't quite as much of a problem as me just incomprehensibly staring at a blank Word file with no idea what to write there. I'm glad I finally got over that. I was never gonna drop this story and am not planning to!
> 
> It's back to weekly or every two weeks updates! Thanks for your patience, everyone!
> 
> It's another letters chapter, which I started writing to get me out of writer's block primarily. Letters come easier to me, and this one is significantly longer than the previous one. Hope you all enjoy it!
> 
> This chapter's art: https://inacron.tumblr.com/post/181204554751 (sorry you had this already drawn months ago, darling!)

* * *

 

_Dear ~~sister~~   **idiot** ,_

 

_because I'm feeling bored I'm writing this letter while you're still on that plane. (still hope it crashes by the way) Since, as you well know, I am as smart as I am exceedingly beautiful -- thank you very much -- I know damn fucking well you'll write me a letter as soon as you can. That's just what my stupid, ugly ~~sister~~  idiot of a sister would do. I know you better than you know yourself. Maybe I'm not gonna send it though. Maybe I want you to **suffer** there, in solitude and **Despair**. Poor Mukuro, all alone with only some smelly army men keeping her company. I know you seem like the kind of moronic brute who'd feel right at home there, but **I** know how thoroughly you despise those swaggering macho idiots that I'm certain infest wherever the hell you are. God, I can imagine you right now, turning up your nose at all those meatheads who look like they could break you in half like a total snob. It's actually pretty hilarious._

 

_Okay, you being a disappointment aside, you should watch your back there. Even if you're ugly, which you are, I doubt some of those guys will care. Don't you dare let any of these filthy apes touch you, you hear me? Even if you're a disgrace of a **Despair Sister** , you're still a **Despair Sister**. You're too good for that scum. It's probably pointless to tell you, really. You'd tear out their throats with your teeth before you'd let them lay their hands on you. After all, while you're stupid, you can be just as ferocious. Except when it comes to me, of course. _

 

~~_Oh, but how I'd like to see you get like that with me. You don't know how interesting it is to see you get angry. You so rarely do, and it's always a treat. But you always hold yourself back, you can never bring yourself to get violent with me and you've maybe yelled at me two or three times in our lives. It's so easy to write this down. I don't think I could say that stuff to you. Makes me sound like a freak, doesn't it? Well, even worse than what I usually sound like. Yes, I'm self-aware, Mukuro. Big shock, I know._ ~~

 

_It's not like I'm gonna send this anyway. If I even send a letter to begin with, it'll lose all that crossed out shit. I only send perfectly edited letters, naturally. Gyarus like me are elegant and thoughtful despite outward appearance, you ignorant piece of shit. Also, you could probably make out the crossed out stuff on a good day. (if your tiny little brain is functioning correctly for once)_

 

_Well, anyway, maybe you'll like it there after all, if only in spite of the people there. Crawling around in the mud, doing push-ups in the rain, shooting babies as practice... yeah, seems like your kinda thing. But most of all it'd be because I'm not there, huh? Makes sense that you're scared of me, since you're such a pathetic little ~~loser~~ idiot of a loser. You know I wouldn't have to get mad at you if you weren't so **inept** at everything, don't you? You left me because of how pathetically, **Despairingly** inept you are, yet you looked at me like **I** was the problem. Like **I** did anything wrong._

 

~~_Ugh! I bet you're thinking of how I tried to kill you right now, as if to justify it to yourself. We're the **Despair Sisters** , remember?! This should be nothing, but no! You were so fucking melodramatic about it. "Why would you dooooo this? Booooooooohooooooooo!!! I thought you wuv meeeeee. Waaaaah!" Cry some more, you little bitch. Makes me sick, just thinking about it. It was so pathetic I even felt bad about it. I shouldn't have. In retrospect, I wish I wouldn't have said sorry. You didn't deserve it. I shouldn't have coddled you. You know what? Go **fuck** yourself! I don't_ ~~

 

_Whatfuckingever, it doesn't matter. What's done is done. Totally forgot my train of thought, so thanks for that. Your stupidity even affects me when you're not there._

 

_~~I think mom~~ Mom was sad she didn't get to say goodbye to you once she was more lucid. I know you don't give a shit, but I figured I should mention it anyway. She had the idea of holding some fashion show thing to cheer me up. She thought I needed it or something. Since I was feeling bored, I agreed to it. I guess it was better than doing nothing. Not that I needed it. I like this hotel room much better now that you're not here to infest it with how ugly and smelly you are. Anyway, I heard her on the phone with dad afterwards. I couldn't hear much, but he's pretty skeptical about the whole military academy thing. Mom is too -- she doesn't say so but it's really obvious -- but she insisted on believing you told the truth. I know she doesn't **really** believe it though, so I'm trying to figure out what she's playing at. Since she never tried very hard to talk you out of it, she must've figured she couldn't and instead blindly started supporting you. But hey, blind support **is** mom's strong suit. Just not sure where she thinks you are. Ugh! I'm gonna have to come up with lies or something, aren't I? I know you're too stupid to do that effectively by yourself. If you even bother writing letters to her._

 

_I don't feel like writing anymore. ~~I'm not gonna send anything until you do it first. I might not send anything at all. You deserve it. You deserve to suffer alone without any knowledge of what I'm up to.~~_

 

_See ya._

 

_\- Junko_

 

* * *

 

_Useless sister of mine,_

 

_I'm in a pretty good mood. There was a man here today, just waiting for me in the living room. He was part of your organization and had to talk to me because of you, but like... what the hell?! I could've been naked or something. Asshole. Anyway, so he told me you you'll be gone for **5** years and won't be able to send me any letters anytime soon for some security reasons. Wow, like, who cares? Could've just told me over the phone too, right? Probably also some security bullshit though._

 

_Oh, so you might be wondering why I'm in a good mood. Well, when he told me if I had anything I wanted to say to you (even took out a notebook, how cute), I said no. Nope. Nada. Non. Nein. No comment! He even asked me if I was **sure**. How droll! I was never more sure of anything in my entire fucking life. I hope you're lying bruised and beaten up in your sad excuse for a bed every single night, wishing that tomorrow is the day you'll see a message from your beloved sister. You won't. You won't get anything. Ever._

 

_When I first heard it was 5 years, I got angry. Not gonna lie. Buuuut! But but but... then I realized. You need me way more than I could ever need you, so you're the one who'll be in ~~more~~ pain. So, like, why should that matter to me? If anything I'm glad you'll get to suffer more than you already do. I don't know what your training or whatever will be like exactly, but it sure as hell isn't gonna be pleasant. You could really use a letter from future international celebrity Enoshima Fucking Junko, couldn't you? Except you woooooooooooooooooon't. I bet that makes you so sad. I bet you'll be crying yourself to sleep. Pwoor wittle Mukuwo._

 

_My fashion shows have been going well. It's cool to see what you can accomplish when your stupid bore of an older sister isn't here to ruin everything with how ugly and stupid and smelly and ugly and stupid she is. Even so, I could practically see you watching me from the side, admiring my beauty. You wouldn't even feel envy -- nooooo, such feelings are beyond that simple little mind of yours. You'd just be wearing that stupid smile on your face while nodding at me, as if I needed any of **your** encouragements. Just thinking about it pisses me off. God, you're so stupid, you've always been so stupid. Useless, too. Stupid, useless Mukuro. I thought I might miss you just a little, but I really don't. I'm glad you're gone. 5 years are too short if you ask me._

 

_~~One thing~~ The only thing I miss is having you as my servant. Like, it's so annoying to get myself coffee. I mean... like? That's what you were there for. It's so annoying to be wasting my time doing these shitty menial tasks. Ugh. Those are the only times when I miss you, but I don't think that really counts. If I had a robot who could do the same things, you could go die in a foxhole for all I care. Well, I guess thar robot would have to be able to fight and shoot and all that shit you're gonna learn too, so don't die just yet. Being of more use to me is the only reason you're gone, after all. Right? Right? Right? Right? Right? Right? Right, you stupid little idiot?!_

 

_Hey, look at how little I've crossed out this time. I guess it helps when you've calmed down and thought about things a little._

 

_See ya in **5** **years** , I guess._

 

_\- Junko_

 

* * *

 

  _ ~~Stupid sister~~  Mukuro,_

 

_I'm writing this 3 weeks after the last letter. Since I found out ~~you're too stupid to~~ you can't send anything anytime soon, I didn't really feel like writing much. Like, what's the point in writing this when I have nothing from you in return? I mean I wouldn't send my letters even if I got anything from you, but it helps to write my thoughts down. I feel like writing today._

 

_I keep thinking back to our conversation before you left for the airport. I keep thinking back to how you said you would stay if I told you to. Was that a sincere offer? Or did you just say that because you had momentarily forgotten about your new spine? Either way, if you had stayed, you would have started to regret it. You must have known that, too. Or were you not thinking at all? You might even be dead right now if you had. I mean... threatening to leave me, and then not even doing it? How pathetic. I would have a hard time holding myself back. So, yes, maybe it is better that you left. For you, anyway. For me it is still an inconvenience to do everything myself. ~~Even someone as stupid and useless as you can get me a drink.~~  Ugh, I'm so bored of calling you stupid all the time._

 

_Anyway, I'm back in Japan and shit. It's as boring as always. The girls in my class were asking about you -- don't go thinking you were popular with them or anything, they were just curious or trying to win points with me. I told them some bullshit story, but made myself look sufficiently sad. Their obligatory concern was very touching._

 

_I've been wondering about something. Would you enjoy if I missed you? I'm sure at least a small part of you would be **delighted** , but you'd probably just end up feeling bad for making me feel bad. Which, y'know, you should. So whatever. I don't care about the answer either way._

 

_I'm bored, painfully bored. So bored I could scream. That was ~~another~~ the good thing about having you around, y'know?  Whenever I was feeling bored, I could go bother you with it instead of just sitting around doing nothing. I'm trying to kill time by fucking with some of my ~friends~, but that sort of thing requires patience. I can't just phone, like, Suzuka-chan and magically make her cry with some psychoanalysis shit. Not how it works I'm afraid. _

 

_Then again, it's not like quickly brute-forcing reactions from you out of boredom was all that refined. Or satisfying. The more work you put in, the more satisfying it ends up being. Since I know everything about you, it was so easy to just insult or hit you and make your eyes get all teary, get your lips to wobble like you're about to bawl your eyes out. Not that you showed those reactions after a while. Anyway, that ended up being so easy that I got bored of it too. So, like, you get why I had to escalate it, right? Yeah, yeah, it was funny treating you better for a while and making you all hopeful, before crushing your pathetic hope and treating you worse than ever, and I'm sure I could've repeated that a few times -- I know you enough to know that you'd never stop hoping for scraps of affection from me -- but the thing is... I got annoyed with it when I realized how predictable your future reactions would be. Like, just the same as the 1st time. And then I realized all your reactions to insults and slaps in your face became the same, just quietly bearing it with that wounded puppy look on your face that you pretend is indifference. That's all you ever do. I got sick of it, I got so sick of it. I got sick of **you**. When I tried to kill you, I didn't think you'd die. I ~~never~~  didn't want you to die then. I just wanted a reaction. I wanted **something**. Why couldn't you just **understand?! ~~You never understand a thing, you stupid fucking idiot. How dare you leave?! I hate you I hate you I hate you!!! I'm not sorry in the least! I hope you die.~~**_

 

_Whatever, I don't even care anymore. I don't care about you. I don't **need** you. _

 

_I told mom and dad a half-truth about where you are. I can tell mom started to become ~~more worried~~ annoyed with how you're never writing. I told them you're in some super-secret organization that trains the best warriors in the world and don't allow communication. They invited you because they saw potential in you -- that you might even have an Ultimate Talent. Considering some of those stunts you pulled in those make-believe shooting competitions, they... well I'm not gonna say they believed it entirely, but they accepted it. Considering I'm a fucking genius, I made it all sound very plausible and shit. I didn't use the words 'super-secret organization that trains the best warriors in the world', for one. That sounds fucking ridiculous, though I guess the whole Ultimate Talent thing is fucking ridiculous too when you think about it for more than a second._

 

_Anyway, I told mom and dad that you'd probably be able to exchange letters with them at some point, once you've been there for a while. Don't blame me, telling them that they're just gonna have to sit on their fucking asses and pretend you never existed indefinitely wouldn't have gone well. Not like I gave them much, but it was at least something. So, yeah. That's a thing. Not that I'd give a shit if you blamed me._

 

_This got long. Don't expect every letter to be that long. Which is impossible for you, since I won't be sending any ever. Fucking idiot loser._

 

_By the way, you're stupid. I'm bored of being bored of calling you stupid. Stupid idiot._

 

_See ya, idiot._

 

_\- Junko_

 

* * *

_Moron sister,_

 

_I've made one of my poor stupid ~friends~ cry today, after I manipulated her into sending her boyfriend a few clingy messages. He broke up with her, and she went crying to me about it. Honestly, I've done her a favor in the long run -- like, who the fuck cares about junior high-school boyfriends. He probably just would've fucked her and then dropped her ass eventually -- but her **Despair** was still gratifying. I can imagine telling you this shit face-to-face -- you'd just be smiling in that stupid, mildly confused way of yours. Happy that I'm happy, but not seeing what I find appealing about it. I guess you have to **care** about other people to some degree for that, you fucking robot. Not to mention, I guess your style would be more like to murder her boyfriend. And then murder her too. That's what you're learning in Willy Wonka's gun factory or wherever you are right now, after all._

 

_That's always been your issue. You look at a problem and think... uhhhhhhhhhhh violence! Yeah, violence can often be fun, but you're just overusing it and not getting even creative. "You want that girl to be sad, Junko-chan? Should I punch her in the face? Should I kick that person? Should I push that person to the ground? Should I smash that person's head between their locker?" Like, see what I mean?! One-track mind, much? Whatever._

 

_You probably think it's weird I'm telling you this. Well, you would if you ever saw this letter, but I digress. Anyway, yeah, seems weird I'd be telling you this when it's not exactly anything new that I do that kind of shit to people around me. You wanna know why? **I'M FUCKING BORED!!!**_

 

_Seriously! There's nothing interesting going on, ever. I was so bored I was even thinking about looking into who recruited you, but then realized I didn't give a shit even while being so damn bored. Yeah, alright, I guess I'm having a lot of model shoots. That's something. At least it means I'm still working towards my goals instead of sitting on my fucking thumbs... but still. I want some excitement._

 

_Heyyyy, maybe I just need to get laid. Preferably a girl -- oh yeah, I think girls are hot by the way. In case you never noticed, which is pretty likely since you're a clueless idiot -- but now that I think about it... you'd dislike the thought of me fucking some girl, but you'd outright **hate** the thought of me fucking some guy. We already know that, don't we? Every single time I brought a guy home with me, you were looking at him like he was a turd getting dropped in your salad. Remember, remember??? "What do you have against guys, Mukuro-chan?" , I'd ask all innocent. "They're disgusting.", you'd say while turning up your nose. The thought of some filthy man touching your beloved sister always made you angry, I could tell. You wanna know a secret? I never did **anything** with any of them. Like... gross! I just took them home because I knew it'd piss you off. Some of them weren't very eager to start anything, mind you. Probably because you were not-so-subtly glaring at them whenever they looked in your general direction. Also because they knew I was way out of their league. But whenever one of them did, I just told them they weren't worthy of touching me. Which is true._

_Don't worry though, I won't be fucking some guy to spite you when you aren't even aware of it. Like, what's the point? ~~To be honest, the thought of letting some boy touch me repulses me anyway. Letting a girl touch me is only a slightly less worse thought. Like... I don't know. It's disgusting. I can't imagine that stuff without feeling disgusted. I guess I'm just far too good to fuck anyone. I'm the Queen of **Despair** , after all. ~~_

 

_Whatever. I'll find some other way to entertain myself. I always do. I'll end the fucking world if I have to._

 

_I'm bored of writing this. I'm so bored. So fucking bored bored bored bored bored bored._

 

_See ya._

 

_\- Junko_

 

* * *

 

_Imbecile sibling,_

 

_how do you fare? I am quite joyless. Quite joyless, indeed. Why, I have even started to remember a certain twin sinster of mine with some fondness! How foolish of me, for I know very well she would not bring me any joy if she was here. That girl is incapable of bringing joy to anyone, I am afraid. She sounds rather inept, does she not? Well, let us not hold it against her. She was born this way._

 

_There is not much to tell, I am sad to say. Life goes on. Slowly. Dispassionately._

 

_I would extend my greetings and best wishes to you, if I cared to._

 

_Farewell._

 

_\- The Queen of **Despair**_

 

* * *

 

  _Fucking moron sister,_

 

_I'm bored out of my fucking mind! At least if you were there I could fucking hit you in your stupid ~~face~~ fucking face and get at least **something** out of it, but no! You had to run away with your tail between your ~~legs~~ fucking legs. You make me fucking sick._

 

_I fucking hate you, you pathetic coward! Go die. Fuck off. I **hate** you. I **hate** you, you hear me?! I don't want you to come back, so don't even fucking bother._

 

_\- Your pissed off sister_

 

* * *

 

  _Sis,_

 

_I'm bored. Come back already. I won't even hit you. Much._

 

_\- Junko_

 

* * *

 

  _Mukuro,_

 

_it's been almost 5 months now since you left. Didn't feel like writing for a time. Still bored._

 

_Still don't feel like writing, now that I'm doing it._

 

_I'm so bored I'll probably stop before_

 

* * *

 

  _Mukuro,_

 

_I don't feel good. I always feel bored all the time, but lately it's starting to become intolerable. I know, I always say that, but it's... different now. It's a bad feeling. I know, I know, that seems obvious, but... I can't explain it. It's weird. Why don't you just come back and help me figure this out? You can go away again afterwards. I don't know, I feel you could help. Even if you've always been inept, I just have that feeling you could._

 

_I couldn't even send this letter if I wanted to though. I don't know how. That guy a few months back told me it was a one-time thing to give you a message, but how the fuck was I supposed to know I'd feel like this now? Not my fault. I don't know, I guess I'm thinking maybe you can somehow tell I want you back here now. Like, twins are supposed to have some form of telepathy. So yeah. Come back. Do you really want me to feel like this? If it gets worse, that's your fault. Think about that._

 

_My head hurts. Mom is making some tea against it right now, so I'll go check on that. I think I'll go take a nap afterwards or something._

 

_Oh, yeah... mom. She's getting weaker. She doesn't want to talk about it, but I can tell. You really want her to die without seeing you again? She really misses you, you know? I know you're a cold-hearted bitch, but come on. Dad has the emotional range of an ice cube, so he's not gonna make her feel better. I mean you're not much better, but just being there would help. Coming back for her one last time is the least you can do. ~~You know what? It's gross how you don't give a shit about her. Like, I found it funny sometime ago, but now it's just pissing me off. Makes me sick thinking of how she misses you.~~  I mean it's not like I give a shit about mom either, but we owe her for everything she's done for us. I may be the Queen of  **Despair** , but I repay my debts. I'm taking care of her, have done so for months now. Even before you left, I was doing more than you for her. Like I said, coming back for her? Least thing you can do._

 

_Don't make me order you over our telepathy. I know you'd listen to that, but I don't think I should have to do it._

 

_See you._

 

_\- Junko_

 

* * *

 

_Muku-chan,_

 

_my head hurts. I hate feeling like this. Why won't you just come back? What did I ever do to you? What do you want me to do? Do you want me to admit I miss you? Fine, I do miss you. There, now come back._

 

_Look, I don't really blame you. I get why you left. I was being mean. But that was your fault, right? So why should I feel bad for it?! ~~I I'm just I don't I can't~~_

 

_I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. Bored bored bored bored_

 

_I don't need you. I lied. I'm not sorry about anything. You can go die for all I care. You stupid bitch. You stupid, miserable, useless bitch. I **hate** you. Go **fuck** yourself! How **dare** you make me feel like this? It's your fault, it's **all** your fault. Die, you stupid bitch. You idiot, you moron, you imbecile._

 

**_I hate you._ **

 

_**\- Junko** _

 

* * *

 

_Mukuro,_

 

_It's been about half a year now. Still nothing from you. I'm not looking at the last thing I wrote. Wasn't in my right mind. It's gotten bad. I've been thinking about killing myself. Don't worry, I won't. I'm not a pathetic weakling. I'm not a pathetic coward. I'm not running away from life, even if it's agony all the time. I'm not like **you**._

 

_I'm gonna take some drugs. I was hesitant about it at first. Drugs are for weak little idiots too, aren't they? But... I feel like it. Like, it's exciting. I don't know what it's gonna be like. I'm too good to get addicted, so that's not an issue. I just want to feel something. Something different from the slow drowning I feel every single day. The fact that you'd hate me taking drugs only makes me want to take them more._

 

_So yeah. I'm gonna do that now._

 

_Later._

 

_\- Junko_

* * *

 

~~_Mukuro,_ ~~

 

~~_I hope you're dead. You promised me. You **promised**. But you left. You left because you don't give a shit. **I hate you, I hate you, I HATE YOU I HATE I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU**_ ~~

 

~~_You're never coming back, are you? You're probably happier where you are right now, because you don't have to suffer me anymore. I'm just that bad, aren't I? You coward. You're supposed to love me even at my worst. You should love me more at my worst, because that's what I'm **really** like. I'm not your cute, innocent little sister, I'm a crazy bitch who likes hurting people. Why couldn't you just accept that?! You fucking hypocritce hypocrite. You accepted it well enough when **you** weren't the one who I hurt. You coward! You fucking cowardly hypoctirical hypocritical **bitch**. **FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU**_ ~~

 

~~_I think i'm just gonna go to your room and fucking demolish stuff in there right now. Did you know mom kept it tidy this whole time? She's so fucking pathetic. So fucking sentimental. I hate her too. Not as much as I hate you though. God, I won't even be able to destroy much. You never fucking had anything. You never fucking cared about anything. Probably all you have are some pictures of me. Fucking freak. Who's that fixated on her sister? Fucking weirdo. Just some fucking loser who never had anything else in her life. That's so fucking sad. You know, it's hard to hate you sometimes. You're just so pathetic. So pitiful._ ~~

 

~~_I don't want to write anymore. It's fucking pissing me off. It's all your fault. Everything is, it's all your fucking fault. Your fault. Idiot. Moron. Imbecile. Stupid moronic imbecile idiot!_ ~~

 

~~_\- Junko_ ~~

 

* * *

 

~~_My dearly beloved Mukuro-chan,_ ~~

 

~~_I can't believe I wrote those mean things in my last letter. It's like I was a different person. Please forgive me? I'll give you lots of kissies if you doooo. **> //<**_ ~~

 

~~_I don't hate you. I love you! That's why I want you back. 'Cuz I love you so much. How much? Like... soooooooooooooooooooo much! I just want my sister back. I know you're doing important stuff, but can't you just, like, take a vacation? It'd mean a lot to me. **< 3**_ ~~

 

~~_You don't believe me after what I said before? I understand, so I'll just prove it. I miss your cute, shy smiling face whenever I'm happy. Like... that's soooooo cute. You're happy that I'm happy. You're the best older sister in the entire world! Cute! And, like, I miss cuddling you and feeling you scratch my back and miss you singing and humming for me. I just wanna be close to you again. I wanna see you smile again. I wanna hug you again. I miss how you brush my hair, your massages... I miss how you're there every morning. I dunno if you know, but sometimes I'm just... really sad for some reason. But then you're here and I feel less sad. Or at least that's how it was before you left. Now I'm always sad. I love mom too and she's doing her best, but I just miss having my twin with me. No one can replace you._ ~~

 

~~_I feel tired suddenly. That sucks. I wanted to write more, to let you know how much I miss you. It's a lot. Like... sooooooooooooooooooooo much. I wuv you!!!!! I'm gonna send this letter after I wake up. I don't remember the adress right now... it's hard to think..._ ~~

 

~~_Lots of kissies. :3_ ~~

 

~~_**< 3<3<3** Junko **< 3<3<3**_ ~~

* * *

 

_Mukuro,_

 

_I shouldn't have taken those drugs. I don't remember what it was like, but I wrote two weird letters because of them. Couldn't even finish reading them. I might throw them away later, but I might forget too. It's hard to get up right now. All I can do is scribble away at this stupid piece of paper right now. My head hurts._

 

_I'll stop writing those stupid letters for now. It's pointless. Everything is. Why am I even writing this as a letter to you? Pointless._

 

_I wish I was dead._

 

* * *

 

_Dear Mukuro,_

 

_I am relieved to hear that you're well. I can't possibly imagine why this organization only just now allowed correspondence, but I am sure you're as puzzled by this as Shinon and I are, which is why complaining about it to you would be a waste of time._

 

_I am not a man of many words, as I am sure you're aware of, which is why I will keep this brief. Shinon and I are quite well, and so is your sister, although I am sure they will tell you that in their own letters._

 

_I hope your education is proving to be fruitful. You were always interested in physical activies moreso than in academics, and I am sure you will thrive among your peers in that organization. I admit, it is difficult to talk about this considering I don't have much knowledge about this organization, but your sister told me there is a reason for this much discretion. I have accepted that you two are secretive. So has Shinon._

 

_Well, I am sure you will inform us of what we need to know. You have always been a very responsible girl._

 

_One last thing. I said that Shinon is fine -- and it is no lie -- but her health issues did become slightly worse as of late. I think she would benefit greatly from seeing you, if that was a possibility._

 

_Continue to work hard._

 

_Kind regards,_

 

_\- Otonashi Noritaka_

 

* * *

_Dear Mukuro,_

 

_I am so very relieved to hear that you're fine! It is like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders._

 

_We all miss you. Half a year was too long. I really ought to give whoever decided that a stern talking to! Of course, I don't know anything about that organization you're a part of, so I unfortunately can't do that. Junko has explained things, but it still all seems rather... strange. Well, I do know there needs to be a certain amount of secrecy. I will not dwell on it. I'm just glad you're okay._

 

_I would like to know more though. Have these people been treating you well? You don't have any injuries from training, I hope? Are they being careful? I hope they don't ask too much from you. You are a very bright, capable girl, but you're still so young. You should not have to shoulder too many things. It is important to have fun and let loose too once in a while. Please don't forget that. You have a tendency for ignoring your own well-being when you work too hard._

 

_Oh, I do hope I'm not being too annoying. If I am, it is only because I care. You know that, right? I love you and Junko more than anything, so I can't help but ramble and get too worried sometimes. I'm just a silly old woman, don't mind me!_

 

_(You should know that Junko watched me write this and told me: "But mom, you're still only in your 30s and you look so beautiful." She's a good girl.)_

 

_No doubt your father is trying to tell you to interrupt your education and return here for a short while. I'm truly touched by his concern, but... Mukuro, while I would very much like to see you, I understand that you must be very busy right now. I would love to spend time with you, but not at the expense of your education there. Please, don't feel bad if you can't visit us for some time because of that. I assure you, neither your father nor I will hold it against you. I doubt Junko will either. She misses you dearly, but she knows how important this is for you. She's very proud of you, you know? I am, too._

 

_Junko has become a rather famous model while you were away. She tells me she'll be an international celebrity in the future, and I believe her! She is very good at what she does. I'm proud of her. I know you would be as well._

 

_I doubt you will want to hear about my job, since it must be rather boring to a teenager, but I thought you might find it interesting that I mentioned Junko and you to my colleagues. I didn't tell them much, just that my daughters are very talented girls who we should consider for Hope's Peak Academy's future. I admit, it felt a bit strange considering I don't exactly know what you're up to -- although I can guess -- but in the past Junko and I talked about you and agreed that you have a talent for certain physical activities. Why I mentioned Junko should be self-explanatory -- I'm fully convinced the school will accept her as the Ultimate Model or something similiar in the future. I hope you will have returned by then to attend with her together._

 

_I think this letter has become long enough. You must be rather impatient to get back to immersing yourself in your work. Don't be too surprised if I'm correct -- a mother knows her daughters!_

 

_I know you will continue to work hard!_

 

_Love,_

 

_\- Mom_

 

* * *

_Mukuro,_

 

_imagine my surprise when all those letters suddenly came in. You were writing all along and just couldn't send them, huh? Well, I pretty much knew that already._

 

_I was a tiny bit surprised by some of the stuff you said in them. Your mental health suffered a little, hmmm? Oh, don't worry, I forgive you for your pathetic little meltdown. Mostly because it was quite amusing to read, and your cringy letter afterwards only made me laugh harder. All those "how are you???" questions, all those "i love you!!!" proclamations though... how Despairingly predictable you are. Your more patronizing questions did kind of piss me off though, but whatever._

 

_Not surprised your only friend there is some stupid mutt. Fits you perfectly. Same stupid loyalty, same small brain, though I guess the tricks you do are somewhat more impressive now._

 

_You would be the kind of weirdo who'd stare at pictures of me in magazines. What, are you gonna sniff them too? Fucking freak._

 

_Hope you don't expect me to applaud you for killing some meaningless idiot who insulted me either. Gossip magazines have probably said worse about me. I don't care you were grinning. I've always known you're a crazy bitch too, obviously. What, you want a cookie?_

 

_Not sure what you mean when you say you had to tell their leader stuff about me. Considering your whiny apologies, I can imagine though. Well, I don't give a shit if some random asshole knows about it. There, does that set your mind at ease? Hope not._

 

_Do I sound bored to you? That's because I am. Your stupid, insipid letters bore me, Mukuro. Send more if you want. Please, try. Try to be more entertaining. You won't be, but it'll be amusing to watch you flail around._

 

_I told mom and dad i'll send their letters to you, but I'm not sure I will. I probably won't, in fact. They're satisfied knowing they can send you shit now, and honestly it's in-character for you to not send any letters to anyone but me. Mom is gonna be sooooo sad though. It'll be quite a treat, watching her get depressed over your lack of responses to any of her letters. It'll be good Despair._

 

_Speaking of, you won't get anything from me either. Yeah, I'm not even gonna send this letter I'm writing right now. You get nothing. Nothing from the past, nothing from the present, nothing from the future. I know that's gonna upset you. Poor little Mukuro._

_I'm bored of writing this. You didn't think I'd adress every boring little thing you said in those stupid letters, did you? Stupid, useless, Mukuro._

 

_I don't hate you anymore, by the way. I just don't care about you. You mean absolutely nothing to me._

 

_You're nothing. Tanaka Mitsuko. Ikusaba Mukuro. Otonashi Mitsuko. It doesn't matter. You're always just the same boring disappointment. Go die for all I care._

 

_That's all._

 

_\- Junko_

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is something a little different. Since the story is all from Mukuro's POV, it might be a bit odd to focus on something that Mukuro has no knowledge of (Junko never sent any of these or showed her afterwards), but they're here anyway because... uh, I wanted them to be! Let's just pretend while Mukuro is thinking back to the past while telling her story to Sayaka, Junko is looking at all that stuff in her room meanwhile. Kinda makes sense, I suppose.


	7. Explosion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad I managed to write this. For some reason, this chapter is what kind of caused my writer's block. I don't even know why! I'm glad I decided to do the letters and the other side story first, because that helped.
> 
> Speaking of, in case you were wondering why I didn't update again for ten years, it's because I wrote a side story inbetween the two main story chapters! It's more of Mukuro & Junko (the majority of that side series' chapters are focusing on them). I consider the 'Family' side stories way more important than the 'Friends' ones, so I recommend reading them! Or 'it', considering I've only written one so far.
> 
> I wanted to update the main story yesterday, but was too tired to edit when I finally finished. I always add stuff when I edit, so it becomes waaaaaaaaaaaay longer than I want it to. Hope you like it!

* * *

 

Arachne was prepared for a lecture when she exploited the loophole in Surkova's order, which is why it's a surprise to her when the woman merely looks at her with mild disapproval once the executions are over.

It's only after the assault team returns -- having eliminated the rest of the rebel faction in the area with ease -- and Athena proclaims they have another operation that Surkova brings the whole thing up.

"Do you know why I gave you that order?" Surkova asks her shortly after they've left their camp behind.

Arachne looks up from scratching Lupa behind the ears. In the back of their designated truck she's sitting on Surkova's opposite, which means she's face-to-face with the woman. "You didn't think I could execute helpless people." She says, sitting up straight. Lupa appears to be either asleep or fully relaxed, so there's no need to pet her. She's just started relaxing a bit herself, managed to get a bit used to the heat that returned as soon as it stopped raining, making Surkova's question unwelcome. Still, answering her team leader is mandatory.

"I, for one, never had any doubt!" Octavian, sitting on Surkova's right, chimes in. He's sitting on the opposite of Herzog, whom he's been talking to for the past few minutes. Or maybe 'talking down to' would be a more appropriate way of saying it. Apparently though, he seems to have lost all interest in that as soon as Surkova and her started talking.

"That's not quite accurate." Surkova corrects, ignoring Octavian. "I didn't think you couldn't do it, I just thought you shouldn't. Killing armed enemies is... different from executing them when they can't defend themselves."

"Kind of a pointless distinction." Octavian argues from the side. "They were only outnumbering us by a few dozens, a hundred at most, and we had the element of surprise. It was practically one giant execution anyway." He looks from Surkova to Arachne. "Surkova's saying executing people is for grown-ups whose psyche can handle doing it, not kids. I say that's treating you like an idiot. If you're already on the side of the people doing those executions, it won't make any difference just because you're not involving yourself in it. They're dead either way, and you've helped us kill them."

"You're ignoring that the human mind doesn't work like that, especially not that of a child." Surkova counters, turning her head towards him. "Killing has a different effect on the mind than being responsible for someone's death. Just how shooting armed combatants is different from executing helpless people on the ground. All of us..." She gestures towards Octavian, then at Herzog, and finally at herself. "We've already done the worst kinds of things. I accepted that the girl fights with us, but we don't need to drag her down to our level."

"But she did execute a rebel, yes?" Herzog questions, though neither Surkova nor Octavian pay him any mind.

"What _you're_ ignoring is that Spider-Girl has no issues whatsoever with what she's done." Octavian refutes. "She's not just some child, she's a member of Fenrir. Treat her like it."

"He's right." Arachne says before Surkova can respond. With both of their eyes on her, she feels she has to elaborate. "I have no issues with what I've done. I've been trained for it. Trying to... exclude me is pointless." She isn't quite sure if 'exclude' is the right word to use -- maybe she should have just said 'keep me out of it' -- but seeing as no one is confused by her choice of words it seems her English is correct.

"That is not something a child should say. Am I the only sane person on this team?" Surkova asks, sounding like she's somewhere between irritated and perplexed.

"I'm sane, Surkova!" Herzog says. Judging from the look Surkova gives him, she either doesn't believe him or doesn't find that to be a comforting thought. She doesn't respond, and Octavian doesn't say anything further either.  
  
Glad that this discussion is over, Arachne spends the following silence inspecting her newest knife -- a rather small kukri with a brown handle. She wonders where the rebel got it from. The Syrian military doesn't use kukri knives, so the rebels couldn't have taken any from them. Though she supposes one of the soldiers might have bought it, or maybe the rebel bought it himself. It could have been a gift too.

It doesn't really matter. It's hers now. Still sharp and generally in good condition, Arachne notes approvingly. The rebel took good care of it, at least. None of his comrades would know whose knife this is and therefore not understand the irony in being killed by his knife... but Junko would like it, which is why Arachne plans on doing so if she gets the chance. After all, there is still one last group of rebels Fenrir needs to take care of. It's the largest one, meaning she might get to experience an actual fight instead of that massacre from earlier.

"Why did you kill the rebel?" She hears her team leader ask all of a sudden. She looks up from her kukri. "Out of spite? To show me you could?" Surkova inquires further.

Arachne regards her impassively. Spite? To show she could? Yes, she supposes both of those things had a hand in it, but there was no real overarching reason behind it. Well, she supposes she should put it simply. "Because I wanted to."

It isn't what Surkova wanted to hear, judging from the grimace on her face. "This is fucked up," she mutters. "You shouldn't even be here. You should be at home, spending time with friends your age."

Arachne is pretty sure Surkova has told her something like that before already. It wasn't appreciated then, it's not appreciated now. "I've never had friends." She says flatly. She still doesn't, unless Lupa counts. But declaring a wolf to be her friend sounds kind of silly, even though it's honestly what she thinks.

"Can't imagine why." Octavian quips.

"Well... I haven't had a lot of friends either when I was your age." Surkova says, apparently pretending she hasn't heard the 'never' part. "I found it hard to relate to other girls in particular."

"Is that because they mistook you for a boy?" Octavian asks in a tone that suggests he's genuinely curious. Surkova _does_ look like what many would consider to be masculine, with her tall, muscular body and her strong facial features. Being bald as a woman certainly wouldn't help with being perceived as such either. Arachne isn't fooled, though. This wasn't just a somewhat rude yet earnest question. She's been long enough around Junko to recognize a thinly-veiled insult when she hears one. Not to mention, it's unlikely Surkova was overtly muscular or bald when she was Arachne's age anyway.

A small part of Arachne almost wants to argue there is nothing wrong with a woman who has a 'mannish' appearance, but why should she get involved in this? She has no reason to defend her team leader's appearance. Octavian probably doesn't care anyway, he just seems to enjoy getting people riled up. Which Surkova doesn't seem to be, now that Arachne looks at her.

"Do you often mistake yourself for a man, Commodus?" Surkova asks him, her own tone suggesting this isn't the first time she has heard Octavian's question. "I can see why you would. For a rat, you look very human."

"Damn, did you practice that response?" Octavian asks, laughing in spite of the insult.

"I have heard that insult many times before." Surkova says dryly, confirming Arachne's assumption. It's strange, that neither of them took the insults seriously. Junko traded insults and barbs with some of her model friends, claiming it was all just joking banter, so maybe these two do the same. Surkova and Octavian don't seem like friends, but she might be mistaking.

"You got shit for looking like that though, right?" This time, Octavian's question seems to be out of genuine interest.

"I did." Surkova says. "I was too mannish for my parents, and for most girls at school. They liked to avoid me. Most of my friends were male. At least they treated me as an equal."

Octavian shrugs. "Yeah, same here. I was too effeminate for most boys, and most of my friends were girls." Strange. He doesn't seem very effeminate. He looks far less masculine -- Junko might even condescendingly refer to him as a 'pretty boy' -- than Surkova, but that's about it. Maybe he used to be different. Maybe being dark-skinned means people apply different standards to him. "Your own gender tends to be the most judgemental when it comes to things like that, but I guess it depends on where you are."

Arachne frowns. She can kind of relate to that. Both girls and boys alike tended to avoid her for most part. While she's aware that she'd be seen as weird either way due to being so anti-social, some people have obviously treated her differently just because she was never particularly feminine. Not that she's particularly masculine either, though she's probably moreso now that Junko isn't putting make-up on her or forces her to shave anymore. "My sister said something like that one time," she reminisces. "She said... that people are conditioned by society to conform to gender roles and think of those that don't as weird and freakish." She immediately regrets talking when both Surkova and Octavian look at her with interest. It's not like she was trying to get involved in the conversation, she was just thinking out loud about Junko.

"That's about right, yeah." Octavian says. It might just be the first time she's heard him say something positive as of yet, but she's not sure. "Not to mention, there's the homophobia. Masculinity among women and femininity among men are stereotypes associated with gay people. I guess it might be a little different in Japan though."

"I don't know anything about gay people." Arachne mutters. They exist, she supposes. She doesn't really care either way. Junko talked about that kind of stuff sometimes though, wondered about the despair of being caught with another girl. The notion that anyone would treat her sister as less just for being with another girl instead of some boy always irritated her. If it had ever come to that, she would have punished anyone stupid enough to make discriminatory remarks against Junko.

"I don't either. I am certainly not a gay person." Surkova says that in a way it makes it sound like she's trying to reassure them all. After an awkward pause, she adds: "I can't see myself being with a man either. This here." She pats the HK416 assault rifle slung around her shoulder. "This is the only husband I need."

Octavian snorts in response. "Oh? Does that mean you like sticking that barrel up your-"

"I'm sure you've stuck worse things up your ass." Surkova cuts him off. She grimaces. "I... didn't mean that in an anti-gay way. I have nothing against gays."

"Why would that be anti-gay?" Octavian asks, pretending to be confused. He has to be pretending. Even Arachne knows that Surkova just said something derogatory, though she believes the woman didn't mean it like _that_. Not that Octavian seems to care. "Do you think I'm gay? You sure seem to be obsessed with gay people, Surkova. Are you sure you're not...?"

"I'm not!" Surkova snaps.

"I know you're not. You're just insecure. What a shame." Octavian laments. "You'd be pretty popular with certain kinds of women. With you looking like you do, it'd be harder getting a man than a woman even. That's probably why you had that group of male friends who, what was it, treated you as an 'equal'." He makes quotation marks with his fingers when he says the word 'equal'. "It's easier to be treated as an equal when they don't want to fuck you, huh?"

Surkova glowers at him. "You don't know what my friends were like."

"Oh, but I know what most men are like." Octavian retorts. "They're either friends with women because they want to fuck them or because they're so far removed from wanting to fuck them that they see them as actual people. In the latter case they probably still looked down on you."

"You sound like a feminist!" Herzog says, as if accusing him of a crime. "Like... like those women in those magazines and books who say they want equality, but they just hate men!"

"I wouldn't worry about that, Herzog. I'm sure no one wants to be _your_ equal." Octavian assures him placatingly. Judging from Herzog's confused squinting, the insult went right over his head. "Anyway, like I was saying, never trust a man. It just makes sense."

Arachne considers Octavian's words. Judging from the males she's met so far in her life, she doesn't think he's wrong. If she ever were to tolerate a boy around her -- she's hesitant to think of the word 'friend' -- he would definitely have to be unlike most other boys she's met. Still, instead of giving advice, Octavian just seems to mock Surkova for his own amusement. It doesn't sit right with her. "You're a man too." Arachne points out.

Octavian laughs. "Consider me one of the rare exceptions. I'm _far_ too intelligent to be sexist. And, well, I'm not interested in fucking women anyway."

"You're a gay?" Herzog asks, in a careful tone that makes him sound like he's afraid Octavian would kick him off the truck if he sounded even slightly confrontational.

"Am I?" Octavian asks with a thoughtful expression. "Maybe I am. Maybe I'm too good to be in any kind of relationship at all. If you're asking if I fuck guys though, then yeah."

Herzog stares at him with a stupid expression -- it doesn't look that different from his usual expression -- on his face, seemingly at a loss for words.

"Not in front of the girl!" Surkova hisses at Octavian.

"Are you saying only gay men can be trusted?" Arachne asks Octavian. In theory, it would make more sense for women to trust a gay men over any other men, seeing as they have no reason to force or coerce women into sex. Still, she isn't convinced.

"Gay men don't fuck women. That makes them inherently more trustworthy than any other man already." Octavian replies, echoing her thoughts. "But no, gay men can still be abusive and manipulative. Every kind of man is awful in his own way. Don't trust any man. Not even me."

"I thought you were an exception." Arachne says flatly.

"Oh, I am. I'm not saying that because you're a girl, I'm just saying no one can trust me. Since I'm the kinda guy who'd fuck someone's dad and not even apologize."

Arachne blinks at him, not sure if he's joking.

"I said not in front of the girl!" Surkova says, louder this time.

"What? She can shoot people, but she can't know that I fuck men?" Octavian scoffs. He smiles at Arachne. "Hey, Spider-Girl? I fuck men. I'd probably fuck your dad."

"Don't say that!" Surkova exclaims, scandalized.

"I know what sex is." Arachne tells Surkova in a flat tone. She's not a big fan of her team leader's insistence to treat her like a child. Well, she is a child, but as a willing child soldier she ought to be treated differently. To Octavian, she says: "My father is married."

"Wouldn't be my first married man." Octavian retorts.

Arachne frowns. She wouldn't really care if Octavian were to do that kind of thing with her adoptive father, but it still seems inappropriate. Cheating on one's partner is unnecessarily cruel. If one isn't interested in their partner anymore, one should tell them that and put an end to the relationship. She supposes the third person has no reason to care though, unless they actually knew both people in the relationship.

Octavian did also say he had sex with married men. She doesn't know about the United States, but filing for a divorce in Japan isn't as simple as just ending a relationship and moving on with one's life. "You shouldn't do that," Arachne says to him. "You could ruin someone's relationship. Maybe even their lives." Or, more likely, only the life of the woman.

"Is the eleven year old psycho who just killed dozens really telling me it's morally wrong to fuck a man behind his wife's back?" Octavian asks, though he doesn't adress the question to anyone in particular.

"I'm fourteen."

"Well, I'm sorry you look like that then."

 _'I'm not much smaller than you.'_ is what Arachne wants to say in response, but she's said far too much already. She has no idea why she's indulging this annoying man. Well, not quite, she has a pretty good idea as to why she's doing it. He's mean-spirited, quick to insult people, and petty. Most of all, he's intelligent but uses it to lord his superiority over others instead of helping them. In other words, he reminds her of Junko.

It's a shallow comparison. There are plenty of people who fit these criteria. Maybe it's how catty he sounds. Maybe it's because some of it is directed at her. While she's known plenty of unkind people, barely anyone ever tried to bully her. The few who did try ended up getting a punch in the face, once they'd become too annoying to just ignore. Except two of Junko's model friends. They were mean to her, but she couldn't just strike two of Junko's friends.

It's different now. Punching Octavian in the face for his behavior would be immature. It's not like she really cares anyway. She's just surprised one of the most elite mercenaries on the planet would act like her sadistic fourteen year old sister. She's not even sure if she likes him more or less because of that. Both, maybe. The former because she misses Junko and welcomes anything that reminds her of her, the latter because those similiarities also remind her of Junko's cruelty.

Then again, his words lack the very personal touch Junko tended to apply to her cruelty. Unlike with her sister, Octavian's behavior doesn't hurt her. No, Junko was far worse than this when she wanted to be.

It doesn't matter.

Arachne studies her kukri knife again, but her thoughts are somewhere else. The thing Surkova and Octavian were talking about. Relationships.

Now that they've gotten her to think about that, she's never really considered dating either a boy or a girl. Dating a boy is what society would expect her to do, but she really can't imagine that. She dislikes most boys or men she meets. At best she feels indifferent towards them. Girls... she can't imagine it either. She can't imagine anyone. Who would she even date? There is no one. Why would she be interested in anyone? Junko always has been more important than anything or anyone.

No one could compare to the love she has for her sister anyway. Even if she ever considered someone to be with romantically, Junko would always come first. She doubts most people would accept such a thing. If she had one, her romantic partner would expect to be her most important, loved person. They would be mistaken.

What would Junko think of her having a romantic partner though? Would she hate it? Would she be indifferent? Maybe it would depend on the person.

Stupid. Why is she thinking about stupid things like that? She should concentrate on their next operation. All these thoughts do is turn her mood sour.

Arachne suppresses a sigh. Feeling restless, she puts her newest knife back into her holster and grips her HK416 slung around her shoulder. She looks towards the nearby hills, wondering from which point she would assault this convoy from. It's highly unlikely anyone will ambush them here, but it's best to be prepared. More importantly, she's bored. The notion of an ambush is at least interesting.

At least the drive won't be long. The city controlled by that last rebel group isn't that far away.

Who knows? Maybe shooting some more of those rebels will make her feel better.

 

-

 

They arrive at dusk.

Unlike the last one, which was barely more than a large village to begin with, the city where the rebels are making their final stand is rather big. Considering they're holding most of the city right now, there must be a lot of them.

Black and white smoke alike hang above the partly ruined buildings like a cloud. Combined with some individual fires spread across parts of the city, it almost looks pretty under the darkening sky. If scale was to be considered though, the city seems to be in better shape than the last one. Arachne supposes it makes sense. It's a much more important city than that small one, to both the rebels and Fenrir's client. Neither would want to destroy it.

This time they're working together with the client's own troops. To 'reinforce them', but Pinocchio made it pretty obvious the client's troops are to do as they're told when he briefed Skadi squad about the situation. They even saw the client himself disappear with Athena into her tent shortly after they'd arrived and set up defensive positions. Octavian made a mocking comment about how none of his men will see him being 'bossed around by a woman' in there. She can see that. Athena doesn't seem like she would let anyone tell her what to do, except maybe Loki.

At least the client actually being here means he's not leaving _all_ of the work to them. Not that she cares, but something about a man wanting to rule a nation but being too inept to put down a group of rebels irritates her. It doesn't seem like he deserves this much authority.

Junko would do it by herself. Not physically, but she'd plan it all. She'd make back-up plans, contingencies, and personally devise dozens of strategies. She'd tell everyone exactly what to do, not hire a mercenary group to do both the heavy lifting and heavy thinking for her. That's why they belong together, why Arachne will be welcomed back eventually. Junko can already do the heavy thinking. Arachne _(Mukuro)_ will be able to do the heavy lifting once she returns. They're going to be the perfect team, without any weaknesses.

For that to happen, all of Fenrir's enemies need to die while she fights for them. Starting with that rebel group.

Like back on the truck, Arachne feels restless while waiting for the order to attack. Surkova advises her to go to sleep meanwhile, probably another attempt at coddling, but she doesn't. She's not sure she could sleep right now anyway. Killing all those rebels earlier today is still on her mind. She wants to fight again. She wants something more challenging this time.

While she waits for the order, she listens to Surkova, Octavian, and Herzog talk to each other. None of them seem like friends, but there's something between them that makes it obvious they're... close? Something like friends, except without liking each other. It's obvious neither Surkova nor Octavian like Herzog, at least. Maybe if a person is fighting side by side with the same people for some time, it's inevitable they'll develop some vague kind of camaraderie no matter how much the other people's personalities irritate them.

She doubts she's the same as them though. She doesn't need to get closer with anyone. She doesn't need to understand anyone. Junko is the only one who matters.

Octavian is complaining about how he's sure they won't get to wear camouflage today either -- apparently getting to wear anything but their standard black uniform is a rarity -- when Pinocchio shows up to brief them.

Finally.

For a brief moment, Arachne is worried. What if they're not part of the assault again? What if it's a repeat from earlier today? However, her worries are squashed when they're told Skadi squad, along with Njord squad, starts the initial assault. It's even better than she thought.

Shortly before the operation begins, Surkova takes her aside.

"You won't disobey any order." Surkova tells her. "You won't do anything you haven't been ordered to just because you want to. It's going to be chaotic out there. There's no place for any childishness. Are we clear?"

Arachne feels irritation flare up inside of her. "You don't have to tell me that." She says, with a fair amount of aggression. "Killing that rebel didn't affect the operation in any way. It was after we won. I won't disobey orders."

"Well. Good." Surkova says, looking uncomfortable. "I apologize if I sounded snippish, but I'm just not sure you're ready to be part of the assault team. There are a lot of things that can go wrong, and you have no real experience yet."

"I will never get any experience if I'm always held back." Arachne says, calmer than before. At least Surkova apologized for insulting her. That's not exactly something she's used to.

"Yes, but the rebels know about Fenrir now. Even if we take cover in civilian buildings like Pinocchio suggested, there's a good chance they'll panic and use any means to stop us anyway." Surkova argues.

Arachne can see that, yes. If the rebels were desperate enough, they would kill dozens of civilians just to take out half a dozen Fenrir members. Still. "We're the best. Those rebels don't have a chance."

Surkova purses her lips. "Don't get arrogant. Underestimating the enemy never does any good."

"Understood." Arachne says flatly. She's not underestimating them, she's just being realistic.

"Good." Surkova glances down to Arachne's left. "If Delta team doesn't need her, keep your wolf on a leash." With that advice, she turns around and walks off, probably to belittle someone else.

Arachne watches her leave, annoyed that her control over her wolf was called into question. She looks down at Lupa. Her loyal wolf returns the look, as if agreeing with her irritation. She pats her head softly.

What does Surkova know anyway? She hasn't watched Arachne during her training. She hasn't heard everyone praise her for being a prodigy. She probably thinks killing that training instructor was just her losing control. She doesn't know about Daisuke. She doesn't know anything. She whines about not involving children in combat while most likely having killed plenty of children already. She's just a stupid hypocrite.

Arachne moves the hand not petting Lupa to her knife holsters, gripping the handle of her newest one and pulling it out. She studies it in the moonlight.

She can't wait to kill someone with it.

 

-

 

It was something she should have anticipated, but didn't in all her arrogance. Something simple, ridiculously obvious.

Getting ambushed is rather different than ambushing someone yourself.

When she was moving up with her squad and the first sounds of machine-gun fire erupted in her ears, followed by what looked like the dust jumping up from the ground in front of her, there was a second -- just a short, horrible moment -- where she thought she was going to die. Without even fighting. Without ever seeing Junko again.

Luckily, her instincts kicked in and she managed to get to cover along with her other squadmates.

Arachne blinks, gripping her rifle so hard her knuckles must be sheet white as more machine-gun fire explodes around her and the glass shards from the window above fall on her helmet. The rebels don't seem to care they're firing in a still mostly intact clothing store. Fortunately for them, there is no civilian inside.

She can see Surkova close to her, but the woman is peeking outside another ruined window. There are half a dozen other Fenrir members too, including Octavian but not including Herzog, most of whom are returning fire at the machine gunner. There were only two of the client's troops with them, but Arachne doesn't see either of them, meaning they either died or got separated from them. It doesn't really matter. At least Lupa isn't here. Delta team borrowed her since they're circling around one of the enemy's occupied buildings to take them by surprise.

Then again, maybe with Lupa here she wouldn't feel as vulnerable.

There's been yelling ever since they were ambushed -- it couldn't have been more than twenty seconds ago -- but it's only now that she's starting to actually understand them.

"-see them?!" A voice from a nearby radio blares.

"Tell Mariner 0-0 the target is in the gray building, in the window above the clothes line with the three red shirts! Hunter 4-3 can make the shot! We're drawing their fire!" That's Pinocchio's voice. Arachne looks at him in confusion, before remembering the call signs. 'Mariner' is the designation for Njord squad members, while 'Hunter' is the designation for Skadi squad members. Mariner 0-0 must be Njord squad's leader, while Hunter 4-3 is referring to Herzog.

Arachne scowls when she spots the nearby Surkova getting out of cover to fire at the building. She'll be damned if she spends the entire time cowering below that stupid window. Steadying herself for a moment, Arachne gets up and out of cover. She fires a few short bursts at the window Pinocchio was referring to. From this angle, they can't hit whoever is operating that machine-gun, but they can draw their attention and make sure they don't fire at Beta team.

Herzog, as much of an idiot as he is outside of the battlefield, proves why he's a part of Fenrir in spite of that when he takes the machine gunner out just a moment later. It's why Beta team has him instead of their team -- they needed another good sniper for support.

"Tell Hunter 4-3 to keep his sights on the machine-gun while Alpha team flushes out the building." Pinocchio orders over the radio. As soon as he puts the radio away, his eyes fall on Arachne. He seems to want to say something, probably ask if she's doing alright, but then doesn't.

"Listen up!" Pinocchio bellows instead. "There's probably more of them inside that building. We'll take them out while Beta team is on standby."

Although they're only on the street for a few seconds, the ambush has gotten Arachne paranoid. They're so exposed out here. What if someone shoots at them again? She has a feeling she has to get used to being shot at. There is still a that first exploding sound of machine-gun fire in her head.

No one fires at them though. Pinocchio and Surkova breach the front door of the grey building, gun two rebels trying to flee around the corner down, and then they're all inside.

Like she was trained to do, Arachne checks her corners and, along with the man from Njord squad they traded Herzog with, breaches the rooms one by one, though apparently there are no other rebels on the ground floor. Still, she moves her eyes around frantically, in case there's a trap or another ambush.

"Ground floor clear!" The Njord squad member next to her informs Pinocchio after they checked the last room.

"There's bound to be more of them above us." Pinocchio says. "The machine-gun is on the third floor. Let's be quick."

There are a few rebels waiting to ambush them in both the first and second floor, but their aim and reaction time are no match for theirs. They're gunned down swiftly. Arachne feels good when she breaches her first room with enemies inside and puts half a dozen bullets into a rebel's chest. At least when she dies now she'll know she at least did something. Brought some despair to someone before their final moments. Junko might even mourn her if she knew.

On the final set of stairs leading to the third floor, Pinocchio throws a stun grenade, anticipating the rebels waiting to shoot them as soon as they appear at the top. He's proven right, and the rebels are too disoriented to get more than a few aimless shots off before they get mowed down.

There is more than one body in the room with the machine-gun, meaning some of the rebels tried to mount it again but got shot by Herzog. Arachne is reasonably sure she could have made those shots too. Still, she's somewhat impressed.

There weren't any civilians in the house. Lucky for them, since Fenrir is allowed to get a bit trigger-happy during this operation. While the client generally doesn't want civilian deaths, it's hard to tell in the heat of battle whether a rebel-occupied building only has rebels or also civilians who think the rebels are going to protect them.

"This is Hunter 0-0. Has Lambda team arrived at the church yet? Understood, ma'am. I'll get Zeta team over to your position right away." Pinocchio must be talking to Athena herself. He wouldn't adress anyone else as 'ma'am'. It seems she's leading Lambda team this time -- apparently she's always on the team facing the highest concentration of enemies.

While Pinocchio barks orders into his radio, Arachne lets herself breathe for a moment. Everything happened so quickly. Are operations always like this? Octavian called the last one a 'snooze fest', so...

It's fine. She's fine. She's calm now. She hasn't frozen up for more than just a split second. She's helped clear the building without any mistakes. She's part of Fenrir. They wouldn't let her be here if she was unfit to fight with them. Surely it's not that unusual to be a bit shaken up after getting shot at, after almost dying.

"Arachne?" Surkova's voice snaps her out of her thoughts. Arachne glances at her. Isn't she supposed to be Hunter 4-4? Well, she supposes the call signs are mostly used over radio. The older woman is frowning. She looks concerned... meaning she might have picked up on the nervousness. "You're doing well."

This isn't what Arachne expected to hear. She expected to hear 'I told you so.' or 'You should join Beta team for support.' Maybe Surkova hasn't picked up on the nervousness after all. Why would she have? Arachne didn't freeze up long enough for anyone to really notice. She's done her part so far. She hasn't made any mistakes.

Instead of replying, she gives Surkova a curt nod. The woman smiles in response. She looks like she wants to say something else, but is interrupted when Pinocchio calls her over.

"Damn, you managed to make Surkova give you a compliment." Octavian says as Pinocchio and Surkova are talking near the machine-gun. "Or I guess she might just feel sorry for you."

Arachne glares at him. He had to say that just when she's started to gain back some of her confidence, didn't he? "Why would she? There is nothing to feel sorry for." She responds in a cold tone.

"Who knows?" Octavian raises his shoulders in a shrug. "Surkova is patronizing about kids. Some would say rightfully so."

"Didn't you say something to her about how she shouldn't be patronizing towards me?" Arachne asks, her eyes narrowing.

Octavian smiles. "I say a lot of things."

She's saved from having another irritating comment direcated at her when Pinocchio barks out new orders at everyone.

After dismantling the machine-gun and throwing it out of the window, they move downstairs again, except this time they exit through the back door. They're barely through it when they're shot at again, though at least this time it isn't that distinct explosive sound of a machine-gun.

Arachne joins Surkova and another Skadi squad member -- Crane, she believes -- behind a pile of rubble. Something hits her helmet, but she isn't sure if it's part of the rubble pile or maybe even a bullet grazing it. Either way, she's glad she's wearing that thing.

She spots a rebel peeking out behind a car, aiming his AK-47 into her general direction. She puts him down before he can get a shot off and aims at the next best target.

It doesn't feel that different from her previous operation now. Even if the rebels caught them offguard, they just aren't on Fenrir's level. She's pretty sure the rebels haven't even managed to kill a single one of them yet, just some of the client's own troops.

Arachne is glad she doesn't have to give orders. All she has to do is fire at whoever she sees or whoever she's ordered to fire at. Sure, there are connecting elements like breaching rooms and checking corners, but in the end shooting the enemy is what it all boils down to. It's not complicated.

Soon enough, they have the enemy on the run. She manages to kill two retreating rebels before the rest disappear down the street.

"Gamma team and Delta team approaching, cease your fire!" Pinocchio orders. He raises his radio. "Beta team, come in."

Arachne smiles, not even listening to whatever order Beta team receives, when she sees Lupa trotting next to Delta team's leader. Her snout is very red, meaning she's mauled at least one rebel. Lupa was already trained when Arachne became her handler, but still she's proud of her wolf. _Her_ wolf. Even if she's with someone else, she's still her smart, capable wolf.

The threat isn't over, though. Arachne suppresses her desire to walk up to Lupa and instead scans the nearby building. Most of them are ruined and impossible to set an ambush in, which is why their teams have chosen this route, but one can never be too sure. That machine-gun back there caught them slightly offguard, for one. The client claimed the rebels didn't have anything apart from AK-47s and maybe one or two rocket launchers. Neither Athena nor any of the squad leaders believed it, so they've been briefed to prepare for anything. She supposes it's hard to prepare for being subjected to machine-gun fire though.

"Street is clear!" Gamma team's leader, Nakavic, says.

About five seconds after that declaration, something on the street explodes.

Arachne nearly falls over, looking around wildly. There is another explosion.

"They have mortars?!" She hears Surkova yell over the ringing in her ears.

"Get to cover!" Someone else screams.

Arachne moves, running among what feels like dozens of explosions shaking the ground beneath her. One of the nearby intact houses should be enough, surely the rebels wouldn't blow that one up. There could be civilians in there. She just hopes Lupa hasn't been hit by one of the shells, and managed to run inside a building or something.

She almost reaches the door of the building she was aiming for, but then an explosion hits there, ripping the door from its hinges. Something smacks against her helmet. When she glances up, careful not to let anything falling down hit her face, her eyes widen. One of the partly ruined buildings is bending. It's coming down.

Arachne abruptly turns and runs, dodging mortar shells while gripping her rifle to her chest like a lifeline. Something explodes close to her, the force almost knocking her down. She stays on her feet and runs, the only thing she sees being another ruined house. She doesn't really have any other options right now except to try to take cover in there. She could swear she saw others taking cover in there too before she turned to the first intact building she saw.

She never reaches the house.

Shortly before she can, there is another explosion. It's close enough to knock her a few meters away and to the ground.

She blinks, only seeing the dark sky above, her ears shrieking in agony. For a moment, her eyes move to the left to watch another building close by bending down, threatening to fall.

Then everything goes black.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Geez, what an amazing cliffhanger. I sure wonder if Mukuro survives this! How exciting!
> 
> (I had no idea how to end this chapter because it was getting waaaaaaaaay too long, so I figured this was an appropriate time to do it. "Everything goes black" really is the dummy guide to ending a chapter)


	8. Gurgle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, the good thing about writing Danganronpa fanfiction is that if I get something like military stuff or whatever wrong, I can just claim it's not wrong in the Danganronpa world, because the Danganronpa world is weird. 
> 
> I'm mostly kidding. I always look stuff up before I write it, but there may be mistakes. I'm not a military expert, but I'm trying my best to convey this stuff well because it has to be in Mukuro's POV.
> 
> I'm glad I'm managing to update regularly again too. (more or less! what's a day or two, am I right?!)

* * *

 

She wakes up to a light moving over her closed eyes and someone prodding her.

Her head throbs painfully. Slowly, she regains some focus. There is a weight on her legs -- it feels like rubble -- and something sharp is scraping against her stomach, though fortunately it hasn't ripped through her body armor. She feels pain close to her hips too. Was it the explosion? Or was it the rubble that has apparently fallen on her?

She slightly opens her eyes. It's clearly a flashlight directed at her face, and it seems like it's still night. Is it the same night though? Or was she unconscious for a whole day, or more?

She glances up groggily, her nearly closed eyes hurting from the person's flashlight, trying to see who's pulling her out. It's a man, she notices. A man who isn't wearing Fenrir's black combat armor. He doesn't look like one of the client's troops either. It's a rebel.

She feels her heartbeat quicken. Is he going to kill her? No... no, he hasn't noticed she's awake yet. She quickly moves her head down again, thankful that he wasn't looking at her face when she moved her head to glance up.

Wait. Isn't he trying to pull her out from beneath the rubble? Why would he do that? Doesn't he know she's a member of Fenrir? Surely, their uniforms are distinct enough. Could it be he doesn't want to kill a child? Maybe he thinks that Fenrir is forcing her to fight? That's not an unusual position for child soldiers, after all.

He's saying something, and there is another man's voice as well. There is... a third one too, she believes. And a fourth one. All of them are speaking Arabic, she's pretty certain, meaning she doesn't understand anything. She does notice her would-be rescuer's voice sounds calm, while the other ones sound agitated. Are they arguing? Maybe about her?

She risks a glance when the man in front of her moves to the side a little, to push a piece of rubble off of her. While her vision is a bit shaky and it's dark, she sees there are three men standing about a dozen meters behind the man trying to rescue her. All of them are holding AK-47s, but only the one in the middle is holding it with both hands and has it slightly raised, as if unsure what to do. The other two are holding flashlights in their left hands, directed at her and her would-be rescuer. Their rifles are dangling down from their right hands. Careless.

She sees her HK416 laying too far away to be useful right now. Her USP and both her knives are laying next to it. She can't see her stun grenades anywhere, but she can't check if they're still on her without arousing suspicion. Has her would-be rescuer removed her weapons from her? It's likely, seeing as they're all too close together for them to have coincidentally ended up right with each other when she got knocked down. It means he still sees her as a potential threat despite wanting to save her. Smart of him.

However, it's not smart of him to have a pistol -- a dirty looking TT-33 -- sticking between his belt and his pants within her reach. There is a knife -- she can't see its condition -- squeezed inbetween there as well. Her breath almost hitches, but she keeps it quiet. She closes her eyes tightly. She waits. If she can't even stand on her own, it'll be too risky to try something. She'll put on an act and pretend Fenrir forced her to fight if that's the case.

When her would-be rescuer finally pulls her free and into a standing position, she notices her feet are still working. There is enough strength left in her to put up a fight. That decides it for her.

She jumps into action, her left and right hands shooting towards the knife and pistol respectively. She takes the knife and swiftly pulls it free, not wasting even a second before she jams it into the man's neck, while simultaneously grabbing the pistol and aiming it at the rebel in the middle, the one with the slightly raised AK-47.

He doesn't manage to react before two bullets -- she notices this pistol has a lot of recoil -- hit him in the gut and shoulder. One of the remaining two rebels yells something. Her free hand gripping her now kneeling would-be rescuer's shoulder to steady herself, she fires three shots at the rebel on the right. She misses one of the shots, due to the throbbing pain inside her head, but lands the other two into his chest and neck. The last rebel manages to raise his AK-47 and comes close to getting a shot off, but his reaction time isn't quite good enough. One of her bullets misses, the other one hits him in the gut.

The last rebel staggers, but he's still alive and holding his AK-47. It doesn't matter. This TT-33 should have an eight round magazine, meaning she still has one bullet left. She levels her pistol at him and pulls the trigger.

Nothing happens.

She stares at her pistol in shock. The magazine wasn't full? Damnit, she hasn't even thought of that. She pushes herself away from the still kneeling rebel she's stabbed, but without having something to steady herself with she can't keep herself on her feet.

A pained grunt escapes her when she hits the ground, too far away from her weapons. She crawls towards them, hearing the remaining rebel scream something she doesn't understand. When she looks into his direction, his AK-47 is aimed directly at her.

It can't be. After all her training, this can't be how she dies. Even though she's prepared herself for dying, now that she's watching the rebel's furious face and sees his gun pointed at her, she realizes she isn't ready for it at all. No, she isn't afraid of dying, not even right now. Yet...

_'Junko-chan, I'm sorry. I wanted to come back to you. I really did. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry-'_

Before he can fire even a single bullet at her, the rebel is tackled by something. Her vision blurs. When she blinks and regains her eyesight, the rebel is on his back, gurgling while a wolf is ripping his throat out. "Lupa?" She rasps.

When the rebel stills and the wolf looks at her, she's sure of it. The scar across Lupa's snout is visible -- one of the flashlights happens to be pointing directly at it. Lupa trots over to her, blood dripping from the maw.

As grateful as she is for Lupa's help, she grits her teeth and crawls towards her weapons instead of showing her appreciation to her wolf. There might be other rebels nearby who heard the shots. She can't waste any time.

When she reaches them, she picks up her USP and discards the TT-33. She raises her pistol and looks around, ready to fire at anyone in sight. She doesn't see anyone. That's good. She puts both of her knives into their respective holsters, does the same with her pistol, and finally picks up her HK416. Shakily, she manages to get up and keep herself steady. Her head still hurts and she's feeling dizzy, but otherwise she's doing fine. None of her stun grenades are in sight. She checks if she has them on her still. She doesn't. She's lost her helmet too, and can't see it anywhere near. It doesn't matter.

She needs to get off this street. She looks around again, though this time she's trying to find adequate shelter instead of enemies. The building that was threatening to fall on top of her before she blacked out is still intact. Somewhat. It's notably bent. She'd rather not get close to that. Instead, she turns into the opposite direction and heads for one of the already ruined buildings. Clearing her throat, she says: "Lupa, follow."

Lupa obediently trots alongside her while she drags herself to the nearest building. She's glad to see that while the house is half destroyed, there is a couch in the living room where Lupa and her can sit behind. The wall is still intact and there aren't any windows nearby, which means nobody will see them unless they walk behind the couch.

Now that they're relatively safe -- she allows Lupa to lay in her lap to make sure no part of her will stick out from behind the couch -- she breathes easily. She scratches her behind the ears. There is dust and dirt all over her wolf's fur, making its vibrant grayish-brown color look a lot duller than usually. She cleans it off as best as she's capable of. "Thank you for saving me," she mumbles softly while patting Lupa's fur. "Good girl, Lupa."

It's probably not a good idea to talk while she's in the enemy's territory, but her wolf deserves to hear it. She would have died if it hadn't been for Lupa showing up at just the right moment.

What's Lupa doing here though? She hasn't paid attention to any corpses on the way to the building, but she doubts most of them were Fenrir members. She especially doubts Fenrir was beaten. More likely they either had to quickly push forward due to the mortar attack or had to retreat. She's pretty sure it was the latter -- the rebels probably wouldn't have tried to save her if Fenrir was still attacking the city at the moment. Did Lupa get cut off from Delta team during the retreat? Did... her wolf stay behind on purpose to guard her?

Probably just wishful thinking. More likely, Lupa was cut off from Delta team and then simply observed the rebel patrol trying to save her until she noticed it was her handler they were trying to pull out. It doesn't matter. They're both alive. That's all that matters.

No thanks to herself though. It was all just dumb luck. She could have died when the machine gunner started firing at them. She could have died when the rebels' mortar shells blew the street they were standing on to pieces. She could have died from the rubble falling down on her. She could have died from suffocating under it. She would have died if that one rebel hadn't been a sentimental fool. She would have died if it hadn't been for Lupa.

Even though she's been called a prodigy, even though she's done so well during training... she could have died so easily, so many times. She even froze for a moment when the rebels first started shooting at them. Granted, it was only for a moment, but still. She's not supposed to  _freeze_. Or _hesitate_. 

It's not even that she's underestimated the enemy. She's overestimated herself. She's been an arrogant idiot, full of conceit. She's been so absorbed with actually being good at something for once that it all just... went to her head at some point. Surkova was right to treat her like an ignorant child.

How Junko would laugh at her.

Arachne... why has she been pretending this was her real name? Yes, she wanted to escape 'Ikusaba Mukuro', a name that only served to remind her of being a pathetic failure, but how is 'Arachne' any better? It's merely a name that has been given to her by a pretentious man worried about a betrayal, a name that would always remind her that an attempt to do so would result in Junko's death. How can she think of herself as that? Just because it felt good to be someone else? Just because it felt good to associate her name with success, not failure? That's no justification.

She's Ikusaba Mukuro. She should be proud of being Enoshima Junko's sister, not feel bad about it. Even though her sister often made fun of her name and called it ridiculous, she would still hate if Mukuro called herself anything else. One of the Despair Sisters can't just suddenly change her name. Junko gets bored with everything, but she's never even considered changing her name to something else. That must mean something, right? Yes, she would definitely hate it.

Junko would especially hate how unjustifiably arrogant Mukuro has been. How she has embarrassed herself. Thinking just because she's passed a few tests and shot a bunch of people who could barely defend themselves, she was already superior to everyone else. She isn't. She's been way over her head. Her best course of action would probably be to make her way back to the camp, and take part of the next attack that's sure to follow. With less conceit this time.

 ** _'What?'_** She can practically hear Junko's mocking voice in her head. **_'So the first time someone fought back against you this is the result? You cowering behind some couch, thinking of the best way to run back to your mercenary friends?'_**

Mukuro frowns, as if Junko actually spoke to her. What other option does she have? She can't take on all the rebels on her own. Athena probably has another plan to assault the city already. She supposes she could harass the rebels in the meantime, but... one person against hundreds? She could die so easily.

 ** _'So what if you did?'_ ** Junko asks. ** _'You think I'd care if you died? The least you could do is bring Despair to as many people as possible before you do. What, what, what? You seriously wanna run away with your tail between your legs?! As if you haven't humiliated yourself enough! You're a disgrace of a Despair Sister, you pathetic coward!'_**

"I'm not a coward." Mukuro hisses. Lupa looks up at her. She mutters an apology for agitating her and gently strokes her fur, causing her wolf to lay her head on Mukuro's lap again. She needs to compose herself. She shouldn't get angry. It's counterproductive.

The Junko voice isn't accurate anyway. The real Junko would care if Mukuro died. Would she still want her to go on this suicide mission though? It's... possible.

Wouldn't this also be a good way to impress Loki? Maybe if she proves herself enough, he will let her go early on? Although more likely it'd make him even more reluctant to let her go. Still, it could be that if he's convinced she's not fit to be part of Fenrir, he will dispose of her. She can't let that happen. She needs to show how useful she can be.

There's her own pride to consider too. She hasn't been incompetent during the attack, but... she froze up, if only for a moment. She was startled. Possibly even scared. It's unacceptable. She needs to desensitize herself to this kind of thing. She has to be, as Junko's soldier. As her sister.

Maybe waging an one-person guerilla war against the rebels is just what she needs. She could use the experience, in any case. So what if she dies during it?

Mukuro glances down. Would Lupa understand if she told her to return to the camp? Should she keep her wolf with her? Lupa has always been in danger since she became Mukuro's attack wolf of course, yet it still feels kind of wrong to involve her in this. Making her run off on her own might be even more dangerous though. She could lead her to the camp and then return back to the city, but that would be dangerous in its own right.

There is also the fact that Lupa is hers, trained to fight alongside her. Even if it's selfish, Mukuro wants her wolf to stay with her.

"Lupa." Mukuro says quietly. Her wolf looks up at her. Holding up both of her hands, she continues. "Touch my left hand if you want to stay with me and fight. Touch my right hand if you want to go back to the camp." It's ridiculous. Lupa has no idea what she's talking about, but she can't think of anything else.

When Lupa bumps her nose against Mukuro's left hand, she smiles. This is just a coincidence, but still. She's happy Lupa will be with her for this.

Mukuro waits a few minutes, thinking of the best way to approach her guerilla war. When she's sure she's ready, she gets up. She checks her ammunition, makes sure her combat armor is still in good working order, and paces around until the dizziness subsides.

After telling Lupa to stay close, she leaves the ruined building. Carefully, she makes her way to the corpses of the rebel patrol. She picks up one of their AK-47s -- her HK146 is going to run out of bullets sooner or later -- and takes their ammunition for herself.

She's about as ready as she can be now.

The first rebel patrol she spots, from the third floor window of an empty yet mostly barricaded building, is six people strong and seems ready for a fight. Maybe they've found the dead patrol, maybe they've just heard the shots. It doesn't matter.

Mukuro looks through the scope of her HK416. She has both the element of surprise and is in a tactically superior position, but six people isn't a number she should underestimate. Hopefully, Lupa will do her part.

She waits until the patrol is as far away from any feasible cover they could take, then she fires her first burst. One of the rebels falls, the others startle. Five left. One of them gets on his left knee and raises his AK-47, yelling something. A second one clutches his fallen comrade. The other three slightly raise their rifles and look around, trying to spot her. None of them try to run for it. Mistake.

She fires her second burst at the rebel presumably yelling orders. He falls over like someone's punched him. Four left. At roughly the same time, she can see Lupa running out of her cover and pouncing on the nearest of the three rebels having their rifles raised, not wasting any time to tear out his throat. Three left.

The two next to him scream -- one of them falls on his behind while the other scrambles away. The rebel still clutching the first casuality is the only one to keep his composure. He reaches for his pistol. Mukuro puts a stop to that with her third burst, after which she shoots the rebel who isn't running away. One left.

The last one doesn't get far. She could put him down herself, but Lupa is already running after him and she doesn't want to take her wolf's kill away. She watches through her scope as he is mauled with brutal efficiency. Once Lupa is done, she runs back to her hiding spot like she's supposed to.

Lupa did a good job obeying her order to wait for the signal. Mukuro wasn't sure her instructions would be understood, but she's clearly underestimated her wolf's intelligence.

She looks for more rebels in sight. When she's sure there aren't any, she sticks her head out of the window and whistles sharply. Lupa runs out of cover and for the third-story room Mukuro's turned into her temporary sniping spot, arriving in record time. She has no treats for her wolf right now, but she makes up for it with by praising her sufficiently and scratching her behind the ears.

She needs to change position now. Staying in one place for too long would be counterproductive.

The next patrol is nineteen people strong. Seeing as she can't take them all down, she orders Lupa to stay behind and wait in an alleyway while she takes position behind a pile of rubble big enough to cover her retreat. When the patrol has walked past her, she fires at the rebels' backs, eliminating about half a dozen before she turns and flees. She tells Lupa to follow while running down the alleyway, and the two of them escape area before the rebels find out who's attacked them.

It irks her to retreat, even though it's necessary. She reminds herself it's not her objective to kill them all. Causing the rebels psychological damage with continuous harassment, making sure they know they're not safe, killing their friends... all of that will weaken them before Fenrir launches another attack.

She keeps her attacks up for hours, never staying in one place for too long, always moving. The smaller patrols she wipes out entirely, the bigger patrols she attacks with a few shots followed by a retreat. Soon enough, the rebels are obviously in a state of alarm. Their patrols are getting bigger, more alert. They probably think it's Fenrir again, which she supposes isn't wrong. She doubts they're aware it's just one girl and her wolf though.

If the rebels were better trained, she doubts she could pull this off as well. A coordinated force could probably corner her and take her out. Luckily, while the rebels aren't utterly incompetent or anything, they pale when compared to someone trained by Fenrir. This isn't arrogance, it's simple fact.

She's fortunate when she comes across a lookout in the second floor of a ruined building consisting of only two rebels -- a man and a woman. The man is smoking while the woman is muttering something to him. Only the latter is armed. Good. She's been waiting for a chance like this. She gives Lupa the order to subdue, not to kill. They both rush forward.

Lupa jumps the man while Mukuro cuts the woman's throat. The woman is wide-eyed as she dies, a gurgle escaping her throat, staring at her like she can't believe what she's seeing. Mukuro turns to the man laying on the ground afterwards. He's deathly still, looking at the growling Lupa in a similiar way.

Mukuro kneels down next to him. His eyes dart to her as she strips him of his weapons. "Can you understand me?" She asks him. "Nod slowly if you can." He obeys, glancing fearfully at Lupa as he moves his head. "Then listen: We're already inside the city. Your mortars missed. Your defenses are weak. You don't have the numbers. You don't have the experience. You're all going to die. Tell the others."

The rebel swallows. "Rather... die..." He chokes out. "My... wife..." He seems to say that like it's a question.

"The woman next to you?" Mukuro asks. He nods. "I killed her." His expression doesn't change. He probably knew already. "I'm going to kill you too if you don't do as I say."

The rebel merely breathes for a few moments. He whispers two words. "Do it."

Mukuro narrows her eyes. That won't do. "Okay." She says blandly, taking a step back. "Lupa." She makes a gesture at her wolf.

The rebel's emotionless face changes into an expression of terror as Lupa bares her teeth, snarling into his face. Some of her saliva drips on his face. She lets out a guttural growl, a sound that Mukuro would never want to be on the receiving end of. "Wait!" He gasps. Even people with no will to live anymore don't want an excruciating death like that. "Please!"

"Lupa." Mukuro makes another gesture. Her wolf stops growling, but her snarl stays on her face. Mukuro kneels down again. "Are you going to do as I say now?" He nods after some hesitation. "Repeat what I said then."

Still low on air, the rebel quickly repeats her words. "Mortars failed. Defenses weak. Inside the city. All going to die."

"Good. Lupa, to me." Her wolf obeys, stopping her snarling the moment she heard the order. "You." Mukuro says to the rebel, still motionless the ground. "Get up and run to the others." He stands up, but instead of running he stares at the corpse of his wife. "I said run!" She snaps. "If you aren't quick enough, I will send my wolf after you." As if on cue, Lupa starts growling again.

That motivates him well enough, judging from the way he instantly whirls around and runs down the nearby stairs. Mukuro watches him disappear behind a corner from the lookout, patting Lupa's head. This should sow some more discord and fear. Not to mention despair. It was lucky, getting a husband and wife. He must be feeling a lot of despair right now. Junko would like it, wouldn't she? Also when the husband tells the other rebels about his wife's death, it'll probably rile them up even more. Anger causes mistakes.

She's glad she gets to be practical and pay tribute to Junko at the same time.

She hopes that man won't kill himself or anything before reaching the other rebels though. He wouldn't, would he? If someone killed Junko in front of her and let her go, she wouldn't kill herself. She'd make sure whoever did it died in the worst way possible.

Would she kill herself afterwards though?

Mukuro pushes the thought out of her mind. She's in the middle of enemy territory. This isn't the time to be pondering things like that. There's still fighting to be done.

After taking a moment to wipe her knife on the woman's corpse and looting her ammunition, Mukuro checks her magazines. More than enough ammunition for her AK-47, almost nothing for her HK416, her USP is somewhere inbetween. If she considered her accuracy and the average amount of bullets she fires at each rebel, her remaining bullets would let her disable around seventy-three rebels. More than that, if she were to count her knife and Lupa's teeth.

Either way, it'll do.

"Lupa, follow."

 

-

 

When Fenrir finally attacks again, Mukuro estimates it's been about seven hours since that rebel patrol woke her up.

A part of her is relieved, another disappointed. On one hand, the rebels almost got her a couple of times and the longer it'd go on the more danger Lupa and her would be in. On the other hand, she's pretty certain she could have continued her harassment for another few hours. It was... fun, in a strange way.

She doesn't join them immediately in the attack. Instead, while one Fenrir assault team engages a rebel group from the south, she does so from a sniper spot -- in a small house she's made note of earlier -- from the north, trapping them inbetween. Since the rebels don't know it's just one person attacking them from the north, it fulfills its purpose of making them panic, and panic makes them sloppy.

She can't show herself to the Fenrir members without giving away her position to the rebels as well, but they have to realize that someone attacking the rebels at the same time as them is an ally.

Sure enough, when the rebel group is eliminated, the Fenrir members merely aim their weapons at the house she's in and demand she show herself instead of just riddling it with bullets.

The expressions on their faces -- her team and the rest of Skadi squad are among them -- are a mix of bemusement and shock when she steps outside of the house alongside Lupa, an AK-47 in her hands instead of her HK416, the latter of which she has slung over her shoulder. She knows what she must look like at this point, with her face and combat armor full of grime and blood, her short hair sticking to her forehead due to the sweat. Then there's Lupa, whose mouth and snout are so red it looks like she's dipped her head in a pond full of blood.

"I thought they blew her into little pieces!" One of them shouts.

"How is this little shit still kicking?!" Another asks.

Octavian mutters something to Surkova, though Mukuro can't hear it. Judging from the grimace on Surkova's face, his words irritated her. Herzog, meanwhile, points at her and says: "She has blood all over her!"

"We should call him Hawkeye Herzog from now on." This time she clearly hears Octavian's words.

"Cut the chatter!" Pinnochio yells over the other voices. He regards Mukuro with something like apprehension. "Report."

Mukuro nods. "I was knocked unconscious when the rebels attacked with mortars. I was awoken by a group of them attempting to remove the rubble on top of me. I disposed of them when they gave me an opening. I decided to take advantage of my position behind enemy lines and harass the enemy. I have successfully done so for the last few hours." Mukuro drones, like she's practiced earlier on during a short break. They need to hear a strategically sound reason for her actions, after all. Well, it's not like she's lying anyway.

They stare at her and mutter some more things, although Pinocchio catches himself quickly. "Well, I don't know how much you helped, but you sure as shit didn't screw us over with... _that_." He makes a sweeping gesture at the dead rebels around them. "How many did you take out in total? Did you keep count?"

"My intention was to disable, not to kill." Mukuro informs him for clarification's sake. Pinocchio nods, gesturing at her to go on. "I counted around eighty. Eighty-four, I think."

" _Eighty-four_?" Surkova echoes dubiously.

"How the hell did you get away with this for half a day?" One of the Skadi squad members asks.

She technically doesn't have to answer to him, but Mukuro is pretty sure Pinocchio would want to know that as well. "I never stayed in one spot for long. I eliminated mostly small patrols. With bigger patrols, I only disabled a few of the rebels and retreated before they could retaliate. The rebels aren't well-trained. That's probably why I could keep it up for so long."

"Nevermind that now." Pinocchio dismisses. "We're supposed to move up to the church next. You up for some more action, Arac? No one would blame you if you and your wolf stayed behind with Mariner 3 and held position. You must be dead tired by now."

She _is_ rather tired after all the fighting she's been doing, but there's no way she'll miss dealing the death blow to the rebels. She glances down at Lupa for just a second before making her decision. "We can still go on." Mukuro tells him.

Pinnochio doesn't seem surprised at her answer at all. "You gonna be okay with that AK?"

"Yes." She has more than enough ammunition for it still.

"Alright!" He yells. "Let's get a move on, people!"

When Mukuro joins her team, Surkova looks like she wants to say something, but then doesn't. Octavian merely slaps her on the back, telling her she won him some more money. Herzog informs her there is blood all over her face. Again.

It soon becomes clear that the rebels are on their last legs, which Mukuro supposes is partly because of her. Not that Fenrir couldn't have beaten them without her actions, but it's gratifying to assume she's done such extensive damage to them. It's a pretty safe assumption. Eighty-four is a lot of people.

After Fenrir takes the church, the fighting doesn't last very long.

Most of the rebels go down fighting, a few surrender. They're on orders to take surrendering rebels into captive, which they do as best as they can. Most of the civilians were apparently taking shelter in the church. They take them into captive as well. It's up to the client to decide what to do with them.

Once the fighting is basically over and the church is secure, the client arrives with his personal guard and some other man in fancy clothes -- Octavian mentions it's the client's advisor. Mukuro watches Pinnochio walking towards him, probably to give a status report to him. When she looks away, she spots Surkova approaching her out of the corner of her eye.

"It's good to see you survived, Arachne" She says, and Mukuro suppresses the urge to correct her. Whether she likes it or not, this is her name here. Getting irritated over it won't do anything.

Mukuro inclines her head, showing that she's heard her team leader. What is she supposed to say to that? She doesn't feel like muttering out a 'thank you'.

"I want to apologize." Surkova continues. "I treated you like a child. Well, you _are_ a child, but I should have realized you were good enough to handle yourself. Your actions today more than proved that. I will do my best to treat you as an equal from now on." She looks at Mukuro expectantly, almost seeming embarrassed.

Surkova sounds sincere enough, and now that Mukuro has gotten a reality check she knows that it's not like the woman was irrational in underestimating her. Still, she hesitates enough for it to become awkward. It's mostly that she isn't used to people apologizing to her. "It's fine," she finally mutters. "Don't worry about it."

"I also apologize for leaving you behind when we had to retreat. I would have tried to pull you out from under that rubble, if I had seen you. It was all just very chaotic. No one knew where you were. I would have stayed, but they were still firing and Athena gave the order to retreat. If she had not-"

"I understand." Mukuro cuts her rambling off, not really seeing why Surkova would feel this bad over it. "I wouldn't have tried to rescue you either."

For some reason, her response prompts Octavian to laugh from somewhere behind her. "I'm glad you're still alive!" He says. Why does it feel like he's making fun of her?

Soon afterwards, Athena and her team show up too. She was leading an attack on a bunker where they'd assumed the rebel leader to be. Judging from the sole rebel she yanks alongside her and pushes in front of the client, she succeeded.

The rebel leader turns out to be a surprisingly young woman. After Athena talks to the client for a moment and then walks off, the client and the rebel leader exchange a few words Mukuro can't understand, but both of them are clearly angry. Not that she'd understand them either way, seeing as she's standing too far away and the other Fenrir members' talking is much louder than both their voices.

"Trust me, you don't want to know what they're saying." Octavian says from where he leans against one of the church's statues. He isn't looking at her, but at the client and the rebel leader, narrowing his eyes in concentration.

"You understand them?" Mukuro asks. She glances at Surkova and Herzog, wondering if they do as well, but neither of them are paying any attention. Maybe they're tired.

"A+ for observation. Yeah, I understand Arabic, it's just tricky to read their lips." Octavian squints. "She just called him a tyrant. He insulted her for making a 'holy place' one of her bases. Wow, can't say I expected this guy to respect Christianity."

"Why not?"

"Do you have _any_ idea who we're working for?" Mukuro gives him a blank look, wondering why she should care about something like that. "Clearly not. Stop asking questions, then. You're like a little kid who walked in during the middle of a movie, demanding someone explain the plot to them."

Mukuro doesn't ask any more questions, and it's not like she was very interested. She'd much rather be left alone anyway. If Lupa was with her and not with the lookout near the door right now, she could at least pet her wolf. As it is, she has nothing to occupy herself with, except take out her weapons and inspect them for the twentieth time -- she's stared at her kukri more than anything at this point. Still, after all the fighting, it does feel good to be more or less safe and enjoy relative peace and quiet.

Not that she gets much peace and quiet.

"You're still alive." Mukuro turns to Athena's voice, having to look up due to the woman's height. She doesn't sound very happy at the notion of Mukuro's survival. In fact, she both sounds and looks rather irritated, which is odd seeing as Fenrir has won.

"Yes, ma'am." Mukuro affirms.

"You've made an impression on the client. He wants to meet you." Athena says that like she'd much rather this wasn't the case.

Mukuro can't say she feels the need to meet the client either. It's obvious she can't say no, however. "Understood ma'am."

The client, like most other people she's met in the last few months, towers over her. He's even tall compared to his bodyguards, who are holding the rebel leader between them. When Mukuro glances at the woman, she sees a vicious glare thrown her way. She quickly looks back at the client.

She barely understands what the client is saying to her. His English is good, easier to understand than Athena's Eastern European accent for one, but he's talking too quickly and a lot of what he says is repetitive and devoid of any real meaning. Something about how she's paved a glorious future for his nation, defeated a bunch of soulless evildoers, and other stuff. She doesn't care.

What she does care about is that her one-person guerilla war was noticed, moreso by the rebels than anyone else, since apparently the client called her over because the rebel leader mentioned her and chastised him over using a child to do his dirty work for him. That explains the woman's glare. He says something to the rebel leader in Arabic, but then stops abruptly, his eyes darting to Mukuro's side.

"Ah, Athena!" The client says pompously. "Well done, well done. You people are worth the money! Some of your soldiers are interesting, too." He laughs, and ruffles Mukuro's hair. She suppresses the urge to break his fingers.

"So you have said." Athena says. From her voice, it's clear that she shares Mukuro's disdain.

"Yes, yes. Eighty-four, one of your squad leaders said? An impressive number, especially for a little girl." The client drawls, looking from Athena to her. He pauses. "Is she for sale?"

Mukuro stiffens, glancing at Athena. They can't...  _sell_ her, right? There's no way.

"For sale?" Athena asks flatly.

"Yes, well, I believe the children of every nation should be able to take arms up if their nation is threatened. Only in the most dire of emergencies, of course. I would have this girl train them, so to speak." He flashes a smile.

Athena scoffs. "Maybe you should have her train your men too."

The client's smile disappears. He chuckles nervously. "Ah, your sense of humor never fails to catch me offguard! Perhaps I should discuss it with Loki?"

"Perhaps you should." Athena sneers. She puts her hand on Mukuro's shoulder. "Excuse us."

Before Athena can take her away however, the rebel leader suddenly interrupts to say something to Mukuro. It's Arabic, so it doesn't mean anything to her, but the way the woman spits the words makes it obvious it's some kind of insult. The client laughs loudly in response though, for some reason. Athena doesn't react, merely pulling her away.

Mukuro isn't sure what's going on, but as long as she's left alone she won't complain.

As it turns out, Athena doesn't want anything from her. She probably only wanted her away from the client, which Mukuro doesn't mind. She really doesn't like that man.

She returns to her earlier spot. Surkova and Herzog are gone, though Octavian is still there, still leaning against that statue. He looks amused. "I don't think _Fille_ Castro likes you much."

"I killed eighty-four of her people." Mukuro says. Obviously, the rebel leader would hate her.

"A shame. She's smart, that one. I don't think you heard yet, but she's managed to plant a spy among the client's troops. That's how they had those mortars placed in the perfect positions, all around the city. Too bad their aim was off. Still, getting Athena to retreat is a feat in itself. She was _pissed_." Octavian lets out a scoff that almost sounds like a giggle. "After Athena got her hands on that spy, there was nothing left of him afterwards. The client wanted to have the guy executed, being all like... 'That is my responsibility'! Pompous fuck. Anyway, Athena told him to shut his trap. He did. She beat the shit out of the spy in front of everyone and fed him to the wolves. The rest is history."

"I see." Mukuro says. She wonders if the rebel leader is really that smart or if their client is just really that incompetent. Maybe it's both.

"Man, I'd rather have worked for her than for Osama Bin Lardhead over there. The rebels just never offer us enough. Or they think they're too good to hire us." Octavian laments. "Well, nothing you can do. I'm sure _you_ don't care either way."

She supposes she doesn't. Still, she would rather work for someone who wasn't incompetent. "You said he is a dictator earlier?" Or more like yesterday. She can barely believe it's only been a day. "Is he going to rule?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

"He doesn't deserve to rule. He's incompetent."

"Glad we're on the same page. Doesn't it suck that we did all the hard work and he gets the rewards?" Octavian shrugs. "Well, I guess we do get that sweet, sweet money. I'd rather be rich than rule this 'glorious nation' anyway."

Mukuro doesn't reply, though she thinks the same. She'd rather get no money than rule too. She isn't someone who could rule... well, anything. That's more Junko's thing.

There is a cry. Mukuro glances to the sound. One of the client's troops hit one of the civilians, an old man. Right, she wonders about that. "What are they going to do to the civilians? Kill them?" She asks Octavian without looking at him.

"Maybe a few? Maybe none? Depends. Unless they openly oppose our dear dictator, they should be fine. He wants to rule over people, not corpses."

"And the rebels that surrendered?"

"God, you sure like asking shit. Yeah, he'll have them executed. The leader he'll execute in public, to make sure everyone knows that's what happens to traitors. What he _won't_ tell anyone is that he needed us to get them, but lucky for him the general population doesn't know about us."

Mukuro nods. There's still something she's wondering about though. "Did you see what their leader said to me?" She asks, glancing towards him. "It was right before Athena pulled me away. She said something that sounded like... satan? Did she call me that?"

Octavian smirks. "Actually, that was Arabic.  _Shaytan._ Doesn't quite mean 'satan', but close enough. She's not the only one who calls you that, by the way. A handful of the captured rebels mentioned you. They called you something else too alongside.  _Tifl._ That means 'child'. I'm gonna tell the others about that, just so you know."

"They call me a satanic child?" Mukuro asks.

" _Shaytan_ means more like 'evil spirit' or something. That's pretty boring. I'm just gonna take the liberty and translate it to 'demon'. 'Demon child' sounds much better than 'the child of an evil spirit', doesn't it?"

"... I suppose."

Demon child, huh? She supposes after having killed so many of them, it's fitting they see her as that. She's killed people's wives, husbands, mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles... how they must hate her for it. But it's not just hate, is it? It's fear, too. Respect. After all, demons may be hated, yet they're also feared and respected. And they bring despair.

Mukuro suppresses a smile. Demon child...

Junko would love it.

* * *

 


End file.
